It's hard for both of us to say "I love you". Guys, I need some relationship advice?

So a guy I've known for about two years and I have been talking. We dated for a month or two last summer, but we broke it off because of schoolwork and actual work getting in the way. Before we were dating, we said "I love you" a lot, there were a few petnames, and conversations would go on for hours on end -- sometimes from 8AM until midnight.

We still go on like that, and we have discussed dating again briefly. We call each other petnames on occasions, we still say we love each other -- all and all, we act like a couple.

We know each other's pasts, secrets, and fears. We're like peas in a pod, I guess. We share interests. We have differences, too, such as religion.

And it's hard for both of us to say "I love you" mainly because we have both been hurt because of that word.


  • Dating
    78% (14)
  • Not dating
    22% (4)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll

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13

Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not weird that it is hard for you to say the word when you are not in a relationship. It is an admission of a level of care that leaves you vulnerable. And having been hurt already, you clearly want to avoid that.

    You are really young, so you will be changing a lot year by year. If things didn't quite work last year, but you two have stayed really good friends, then it may be worth giving it one more try. The thing that may snag you up long-term could actually be the religious differences. That one can be hard for some people to get past long-term, if both parties are not really open to communication, examination, and varying viewpoints.

    Talk about it with him. See what he thinks about all of this. I would lean towards giving it a try, but you should keep in mind that you do risk the friendship if you do it. If you start dating and it ends really badly, the friendship can be destroyed. The fact that it survived once doesn't mean it will survive again. So that's something to factor in to your decision.

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What Guys Said 12

  • What is the question? I mean that with love, but I don't see a question here.
    Obviously you both have feelings for each other, nothing has really changed there fundamentally. Everyone has difficulty saying "I love you", as DrKran said it helps to show it rather than say it. Although saying it during sex is really hot.
    And I agree with JustInCaseUDontKnow aout building the relationship and not putting pressure on yourself. Why not spend more time together, and see if the physical stuff comes back on it's own?
    Anyway, to me it sounds like all you two need is a night alone together with the lights down low, some music on, after a good meal and romantic movie, and start giving each other footrubs and cuddling and whatever happens next.
    You've gone a long way to knowing each other, there seems to be a lot of work and bonding, so to be honest this sounds like one of the most measured dating situations I've heard of. Usually people rush and don't get to know each other, so this sounds cool in my opinion. Oh and one more thing.
    He is a lucky guy, you are smoking hot, what the hell are you two doing not getting it on, this is going to be so hot when you finally bang, believe me, the build up, all the anticipation. Just make sure you take it slow at the time. The only danger is going too fast from eagerness, and not enjoying the foreplay. No reason not to take the whole evening in my opinion. Plenty of wooing, foreplay etc. It would be cool to hear an update, if you get a chance.
    Good luck and enjoy!

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  • Why don't you just ask him how he feels about your guy's interaction and what his intents are with you?

    Also be prepared to let him know what you want.

    communication!

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  • i1127.photobucket.com/.../...om-add-text%201_6.gif "And it's hard for both of us to say "I love you" mainly because we have both been hurt because of that word." When someone says I LOVE YOU I say "No ya don't, ya jus think that you do".

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  • Kid you're 16. I doubt its true love but I'm sure you two really like each other.

    What is your question? I'd advise you both seriously discuss what the word means to the other. In my opinion its a very serious word that is over used. Best of luck to you.

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  • You and him need to really build a friendship than work things from there
    you only knew him for 2 months that's not long enough to say you
    both are really ready for long-term relationship also you both need to
    heal from past hurts that your both facing sure it's hard to say "Love"
    cause you need to heal both of you..

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  • Sometimes you don't need to say anything.
    The "I love you" expression already shows. Try physically expressing love rather than orally expressing your love. Words and actions are both strong, but you sound like the type that should physically express your feelings.

    -I recommend you to give him a hug, out of the blue.

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  • You two obviously have a strong emotional connection. But you can't be titled as "dating" until you two make that your official title.

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  • If its hard to say I love you. Its because you dont. That is totally ok. I wouldn't love anyone after a month or two. Except my kids the moment I held each one after they were born I loved them. I thought I knew what love was until that moment. I actually realized I never have loved anybody ever until then.

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  • If you have to force yourself to say the three magic words, then it's pretty simple: the love isn't there yet. Granted, you guys used and abused the phrase, but after you split, it finally dawned on you that what you had wasn't love. That in itself is a good thing, since you now know to not take the phrase lightly. Continue on with the relationship and see where it leads. If all the things you do truly reflect the love you have for each other, then the words will follow.

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  • I see "I Love You", as a very important phrase that should NOT be taken lightly. Some people use it so frivolously as a tool to get what they want. Mainly sex. I admit that I used it in the past in that way. But I've learned to use it only when I'm sure of it. That way it avoids all kinds of problems in the future. Remember, love is blind. Now, I use the alternative, " I have feelings for you." Until I'm sure that I am truly in love.

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  • I would say , take three long breathes and let the past go. Be happy in the now and enjoy.

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  • I don't say "I love you" just to get laid... no need for that

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