Long distance relationships?

Is the while "I don't wanna date because I can't do long distance" just an excuse that guys use or is he really being genuine? This guy claims to like me. He's been saying it for the past year. We've hung out as friends and have hung out to fuck around. Now I would be fine with a fuck buddy relationship with the guy, honestly. But every time I bring up hanging out again, he brings up the relationship aspect of what we have. There's no emotional attachment, from what I've been told and from what I've seen. He doesn't tell me he misses me. He isn't affectionate in texts or emails. But when we are together its a 100% turn around. He becomes this lovey dovey, touchy feely dude. But it ain't about sex. Its more or less him cuddling or holding my hand. I don't know how to take it. But like I said, I don't talk about having a relationship with him. Yet, he keeps bringing it up, almost like he's trying to convince himself he doesn't want to be with me. Opinions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, this guy is obviously very confused about what he wants in life right now, what he wants with YOU right now. I think that maybe you should bring this to his attention and ask him what's going on. Since you asked this question it seems to me like you might feel some type of way that maybe you're not admitting to yourself... Do you want to be with him or are you open to the idea? Maybe he's afraid to commit to more with you because he doesn't know exactly how you feel on the matter.

    I, personally, am not a fan of long distance relationships. I've been in two already and it's really hard to keep up with. Of course if I'm with the right person and I care about them too much to just let them go, I will give it a go. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, but if I found myself in that kind of situation I'd definitely go for it.

    Some guys use distance as a cop-out, but some guys are genuine about it. Not everyone is equipped to handle the distance and despite him wanting to be with you, he just can't handle all that comes with a LDR. It very well may not be about him making excuses, but instead not being able to handle it. He probably does have some real and maybe strong feelings for you especially if he keeps reiterating the fact that a relationship is out of the question.

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    • I definitely do feel some type of way. He's an amazing guy. Overall everything I could possibly want for a future partner. However, I have in a round about way told him this. Not to any huge extent. Just told him I think he's a great guy. That I like him. But I made it seem like it was way less than it truly is. I think my exact words were "I wouldn't sleep with you if I wasn't interested." (I told him this before we hooked up). Since we hooked up is when it all started. We talk everyday. And every conversation comes down to the relationship he keeps claiming he doesn't want. I just don't understand because I'm not bringing up the relationship. He is.

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    • Yeah, but you got to live a little. If it doesn't work out then you can move on and find someone that IS willing to make things work.

    • True

What Guys Said 3

  • Actions speak louder than words... If he's all lovey dovley around you he obviously likes you... I reckon he's worried about the distance and is protecting himself.

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    • He definitely is protecting himself. He's been hurt real bad in the past and I completely understand that. I just don't understand why he keeps bringing up a relationship that he claims he doesn't want. It would be one thing if I was talking about having a relationship with him but I'm not. That's solely him.

    • Conflicted feelings. One half of him wants to be with you, but the other is telling him not to so he doesn't get hurt again.

      It's a really tricky situation, one in which you can only accept what he wants.

      He might choose to have a relationship with you, or he might not.

  • They work, if and only if both parties want it badly enough and are willing to put in the effort. Doesn't sound like he does.

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  • He wants it but is no sure he can commit and not want you to be hurt or vice versa you cheat on him

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What Girls Said 1

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