Would love some constructive criticism on my dating profile?

Let me know if you think it's good or bad and what needs changing. Thank you!

Me:

When I asked my roommate to help describe me for my dating profile he laughed and asked “why are you making a dating profile?” I’m taking that as a compliment. Anyway, I have lived on three different continents and each has shaped me into the man I am today. My experiences have taught me that in the end we’re all very similar and strive for the same things in life (love, success, and happiness). It has also taught me how to quickly make new friends and get along with pretty much anyone (like my ex-convict friend E-money, he’s the only one allowed to call me P-ditty), so don’t worry about being shy my average muscular arms will tear down your wall.


What I’m doing with my life:

I recently moved to Brisbane from the USA to attend medical school. No, I’m not fat and I don’t own a gun, but I do have a super sexy accent according to some local Aussie girls. I am highly ambitious and respect those that are as well. I absolutely love Brisbane! However, I still think you all drive on the wrong side of the road and it’s a miracle that I’ve yet to get hit by a car from looking at the wrong side before crossing (unlike that drunk dude in NYC).

Who I’m looking for:

I’m looking for a sweet and caring girl who I can call my princess and snuggle with. There’s nothing more attractive than an intelligent confident girl that respects herself and has a great sense of humor (It also doesn’t hurt if you’re smoking hot). I’m not looking for a 24/7 party girl or just a random hookup. My sister is my best friend and that has made me into a protective guy when it comes to all women in general. I’m not here to play games and I know exactly what I want. Impress me and we’ll be chilling on the beach of Aphrodite's Island.

Updates:
Randomness:
I have two guitars (goldilocks and daisy, yes I know it’s a douche move to name them) and I suck at playing both of them. If it can go fast, chances are I love it. I can be dorky, but it’s the good type I promise. I never keep my promises. I love sarcasm, hint hint. My rubik’s cube solving skills impresses all the ladies and is an instant panty dropper. Game of Thrones is the greatest show ever made (If you think otherwise I understand, but you’re wrong and I hate you).
Led Zeppelin is the greatest band ever. My favorite place on earth is areopagus hill. I make a killer steak and mushroom risotto (you should try it sometime). I like to keep fit.

Bonus super randomness:
When I was five I used to spend a lot of my time riding my bicycle. My mom would get angry at me and yell (high pitched mom voice) “come in and get your dinner, it’s getting cold”. It wasn’t until years later that I realized that my bike wasn’t a bike, but a 45 year old homeless man.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • What I'm doing with my life:

    Didn't say one thing about what he's doing with his life.

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    • Thanks, I'll fix that part up. I knew that part was lacking.

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    • first link isn't working... http://s22.postimg.org/jt1kf12c1/profile.jpg

    • Much better. Hope you find what you're looking for.

What Girls Said 5

  • You seems like you're selling your self in the internet. If you're looking for a sweet and caring girl then you have to start talking to the every girl you'll find coz in order to know them is for you to make big big efforts in life and it takes time to know a person. Living in Brisbane, USa and so on and having those sexy accent are just the plus bonus.. Woman tend to look at the personality than the physical attribute, even if you have a great face but we cannot get along then everything is just a downfall. so better think of different way of introducing yourself coz woman it will not work it :)

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    • I am selling myself on the internet, that's the whole point of a dating profile. I'm sorry I don't really understand what you're trying to say. Are you saying that I have to spend time getting to know each girl? Because that is what I'm planning to do, this is all just to find girls that I could date and find out more about.

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    • first link isn't working... http://s22.postimg.org/jt1kf12c1/profile.jpg

    • Nice! this is what I'm talking about.. There's a heart in it.. some of your jokes are corny BUT! the cornier the better ahahahaha.. I hope you find the best girl in your life.. :)

  • Omg I laughed so hard when I read the last randomness. It sounds good. Sounds like you have a good sense of humour.

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    • Thank you :), I'm still questioning the last part though since I know it's not everyone's cup of tea :/

    • I don't know but I found it hilarious. Just put it in. The whole point of have a dating profile is so they get the idea of who you are. Making it so they like it won't show that.

    • Yep that's my thought, it's like a mini test

  • You're funny. Lol.

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    • Thank you :), anything that you think I should change?

    • No leave it. I'm sure some girls will message you with some questions, you can take it from there to start a convo with them.

    • Thank you for the confidence booster!

  • I stopped reading at "I never keep my promises." I wouldn't give you any chance after admitting that. I'd probably even block you.

    a lot before that either bored me or came off like you're trying really hard to be funny, but not succeeding..

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    • Hence the I love sarcasm hint hint right after the I never keep my promises, but I can see how it can be missed so I'll take it down. I'm not removing my jokes though, I make lame and corny jokes and I know it. It's who I am and if a girl doesn't find my jokes amusing then clearly we'll be a bad match so it would be best if that put her off from me.

  • This is way too long

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    • And please the 45 yearl old bike joke DELETE IT ITS HORRIBLE AND STUPID

    • Yea it is long, but I'm not an average guy and want to stand out. If a girl is too lazy to read all that then she's not for me. Also want a girl with a similar sense of humor so that's kind of like a test if that makes sense.

What Guys Said 4

  • Segment 1: Sucks. It's long-winded, paints you in a poor light (you're weak), and offers no particular incentive to the reader to take interest. I will force myself through all segments.

    Segment 2: Sucks. It's not humorous. It's not informative (What medical school? Prestige matters.) or concise. It's boring and just misses all the marks. Instead of talking about real ambitions, hobbies, and your activities that make you noteworthy you talk about... driving?

    Segment 3: Sucks. "I am looking for a female." at the end of the day. You are not actually giving a leading, enjoyable, and promising description of anyone but instead just saying "anyone available." You sound more like a desperate idiot than a man to invest in and you're in medical school? So now you have no time for anyone AND you're a desperate idiot who has no standards and is a total pig.

    All in all this is horrible. You miss the mark on all three segments not really talking about yourself and making yourself out to be, more or less, desperate and understandably single.

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    • I don't understand why you're such a bitter asshole and why you would waste your time commenting on this question when you think im such an idiot and why you keep attacking my intelligence and the fact that I'm in medical school. I asked for help because I obviously suck with women and I'm doing my best to improve myself in that aspect of my life and your response is to go on full attack mode? Even me who's pretty socially inept can see how fucked up of a person you have to be to rage on a question like this and that's saying something.

    • I am a "bitter asshole" because you asked me to be. You want to succeed? You clean up your shit. You're a medical student so you should know that the outside world instantly thinks you have zero time, that's what the reader is going to presume; so now that you're a part-time boyfriend sounding like a total ass clown does NOT work in your favor.

      And you're right, you do such with women, that's why I showed up and told you all that's wrong with your shit. You fix this you will have a dating profile worth reading. The idea is to get dates not to pre-date yourself through words by showing your poor quips. You're a medical student? Yeah? You know about the process, the interview, yeah? Same thing here.

      It's a goddamn interview and you will fail every time. You want to whine, whine, you want to complain, complain, you want to succeed? I can help you do that. Your turn.

  • You'll come across as a right tit with a "what I'm doing with my life" like that. Even though Im not a girl, I stopped reading half way through that paragraph.

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    • In fact, the whole thing is cringe... I'm sure this a troll.

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    • Thanks for the constructive criticism, you're a nice bloke :)

    • You're very welcome pleb 😂😂😭

  • What's your height?

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    • 5'10" why?

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    • I see, but my height has never been an issue and I've never been insecure about it even the slightest bit. If a girl decides she doesn't want to talk to me because of a measly two inches then it's her lost. I'm not going to lie about my height.

    • loss

  • You're in my city... :(

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    • Why the sad face :(? It should be :D

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