What would you do if you found out your friend was crushing on the same person as you, and that guy/girl likes YOU?

would you back off or go for it? and why?

  • I would pursue something with the guy/girl I like.
    40% (6)80% (12)60% (18)Vote
  • I would back off. friends come first.
    40% (6)7% (1)23% (7)Vote
  • other. EXPLAIN BELOW.
    20% (3)13% (2)17% (5)Vote
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Gosh, it would be so easy in a vacuum to say that I'd just back off and let it go. But it's different when you actually LIKE someone.

    I would go after her and win. :) Then try to repair my friendship too.

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What Guys Said 16

  • There's only one way to solve this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur68dWVpPRI

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  • Eh, they snooze they lose. Friends should respect friends with something like this.

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    • haha, nice. though it's not about you getting to her first. she simply doesn't like him.

    • Well yeah, if I knew a girl liked my friend, I'd try to help him out. Even if I liked her a bit too...
      I mean, there are some attractive girls who are quite easy to like so they always have multiple people crushing on them.

  • The girl would like me, I think my friend would understand if I pursued her. I would understand if the situation were the inverse, I can't force anyone like me.

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  • Haha, I'd let the friend go for it. I know how to date and would find someone else in short order--plenty of fish in the sea, so why ruin a friendship?

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    • the friend doesn't have a chance though. she wants you, not him.

      what if it were the other way around, would it ruin your friendship if he went for it knowing you were crazy about her?

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    • ok, what if you both know her well, does that change things?

    • That changes things just a little bit.

      In the event we all know each other well, I would be more likely to move forward and go for her. I would expect him to understand her feelings and respect that he isn't her choice--he should have that awareness of her by this point.

      Plus, the relationship with her will have be more established and less likely to lead to a quick breakup (why risk a friendship over a low-certainty love affair?), so I'd be more willing to take a chance. And I'd have more confidence my friendship would survive this scenario.

      That said, one of the reasons I prefer to ask out strangers is to avoid scenarios like this altogether. Asking out strangers eliminates most of the potential drama that a romance can create, and I find it far preferable--to the point that I do it exclusively. If I know a girl longer than a month, I permanently write her off as a romantic option.

      Perhaps it's an extreme preference, but it's one I believe in strongly. I hate drama.

  • If a girl liked me, i don't give a single fuck what my friend says about it.

    But if he seemed really depressed about it, I'd probably go out of my way to set him up with someone else.

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    • aww, well that's sweet of you to try to find him someone else. though, it might come off a bit insulting.

    • I would only do it if he wanted my help. I wouldn't try to surprise him.

  • Always backed off cause I never had a chance to begin with. Im different now and would pursue.

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    • why didn't you have a chance then, but you do now? what's changed?

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    • yea, that is really random.

    • Lol... thank you (and I put up a little dark pic of myself... torso pic that I will remove later). That's my current physique. My theories 1) Older women are more mature and upfront about sex and I know where I stand 2) I am still a nice guy in my head and may actually look intimidating in real life, making the younger women feel more like I need to be all alpha (which I am still trying to strengthen) 3) Some people say I may be too mature and am on the older people level of maturity (as boring as that sounds)

  • I'd probably go for it.
    It's easy to say stuff like "bros before ho's" but whoever came up with that was probably not in a stable relationship... ever.

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  • Most of the time, unless there's something clearly tangible between a guy and a girl, it's every man for himself and anything goes.

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  • It's happened before. I let nature take its course and the pheromones do the talking.

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  • Sorry I am not in high school anymore I am going after her

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  • I'd talk to my friend about it.

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    • Show All
    • no, I was bored. it's a hypothetical question.

    • Oh, ok... peace out. As a proviso, not all people are as calm and level headed as me and my friends. ;)

  • bros before hoes or whatever bullcrap that line is..

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  • Gotta go for it. Excessive caution destroys the soul.

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  • I'm talking to yhr girl while rubbing it in

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  • Survival of the fittest. I ain't about to let him have it. I'm surprised at the number of B votes by women. I admire women sometimes :)

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  • I might talk to my friend about it first as a courtesy, but it wouldn't stop me pursuing her. If we both like her one of us might as well be with her, there's no point in us both being unhappy, if she prefers me (and in your scenario doesn't like him at all), then it makes sense for me to pursue it. That we she and I will be happy and he'll get over it in time. It's obviously unfortunate for my my friend, but the alternative is for the three of us to be unhappy, so it's the rational choice. I'd expect him to do the same if the roles were reversed (I've experienced that before, but not your scenario).

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    • how did you experience it?

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    • really, you would have rather seen them together? that's interesting.

    • I'm not sure I'd say I'd rather that, it just bothered me more. I guess I could understand her preferring him, but not why he didn't choose her.

What Girls Said 11

  • I'd talk to my friend, lay out the situation and ask if she's ok with me pursuing it. If she's not, I'd probably question how good of a friend she really is...

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  • I've been there before and I backed off because I wasn't going to ruin a good friendship over a guy that might not even be worth it.

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    • do you think you would make the same decision if you knew the guy really well?

    • Yeah, I'd still back off. I'm not the type of person who chooses a fleeting relationship over a long lasting friendship.

  • Sorry bitch, this one's mine. Just kidding. I would talk to her about it and if she didn't want me to date him then I wouldn't. Girl code.

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  • If she's seriously interested in him , then yeah I'd back off. I would definitely talk to her about the situation and wouldn't secretly pursue him behind her back.

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  • guys come and go, but friends stay forever!

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  • friends come first in my opinion i can find another person id brather keep my friends then lose them over some a guy as men say BRO'S BE FOR HOES

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    • not a random guy, a guy you've known a long time and have deep feelings for then?

    • most friendships don't last forever.

    • no but its good to have them while you can an iv learned that while im 19 there are still plenty out there for me to get

  • This happened to me last summer. At first he was flirting hardcore with me then we she showed interest so he moved on to her. They're going on a date this week. It bugged me at first, but then I moved on because he wasn't worth my time.

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  • I would actually back off.

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  • She no competition to me boo boo

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  • Well, if my friend and I hadn't agreed we wouldn't pursue him then I would

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  • I would pursue the guy. Of course, it's not fair to my friend and I would say I'm sorry. But it's not like it's my fault that he has feelings for me over her. If I back off then both my friend and I PLUS the guy would be unhappy. I would try to help her find a new crush. This is one of those times where I would say, "Hey, life isn't fair."

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    • haha, no it isn't. plus, what if you blew him off and he turned out to be "the one" ;)

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