Boyfriend has online dating profile & other red flags?

So, my boyfriend & I have been together for awhile, but then he took a job across the country. We're keeping up long distance, and he's always calling me to tell me he misses me & loves me & making sure to Skype & even uses FB to make sure I feel like I have his attention, even though he's three time zones away.

Then my cousin (who lives in the same city) found his online dating account when he popped up as a match, the one he said he deleted when we started dating, or he's reactivated it since he moved. I didn't want to say anything, but when I visited over the long weekend, I got snoopy (I know!) & checked his browser history & he's on it a lot & creeping the girl he dated before me online...A LOT. He swears he wants nothing to do with her but he's checking up on her twice a week & logging into online dating all the time (She lives in my city).

Is he thinking about leaving me? Does the ex thing seem weird to you? I know I was in the wrong for snooping instead of asking in the first place but I feel like I shouldn't trust him anymore & maybe this won't work.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He may not be thinking about leaving you, but he is definitely thinking about finding something on the side.

    LDRs can be super challenging in the best of situations. You are now going to have to also worry about how trustworthy he is and what he is doing when you're not talking to each other, which is going to make it even harder.

    If he said he deleted it, and now he has it active, that's a huge, huge flag. That is going to make trust incredibly difficult, possibly too difficult for the relationship to survive.

    I would normally say you are going to have to talk to him about this.. but you know that he is most likely going to be doing damage control and denial. If he 'swears' that he wants nothing to do with her, and you know he is checking up on her multiple times during the week, you know he is lying to you. No relationship can work with dishonesty. Especially not one that is long distance.

    I think you have a lot of serious thinking to do. I am not sure that this relationship can survive this, or even if it should.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Girl... I once heard a song called cut her off that goes like this: ay no, no, no, no, no cut that bitch off "snip snip hoe snip snip hoe" And that's exactly what you gotta do. Considering all you just said that would be more than enough for me to leave a girl so in my opinion you should do the same.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You need to talk to him about it. Being on dating sites when you are in a relationship is not right. With him checking out his exes FB it means he is not totally over her but it doesn't mean that he is getting back with her necessarily.

    I think you guys need to figure out how you are going to work this LDR.

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  • Doesn't matter what he wants from the ex. All you need to know is that he is keeping his options open and you should too our move on.

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