If a guy really likes a girl, he will be with her. Period. Right?

My guy friend and I unexpectedly fell for each other. Really, it was a shock one day when we realized this. He has a girl and I told him we should stop seeing each other. He says he "really just can't not see me" and "this is all just so very unexpected.." and he says he doesn't know what to do and he doesn't want to hurt his girl and he can't lose me. We have not crossed any boundaries except a kiss once. Should I let this go even if it breaks both our hearts because wouldn't he be with me if I meant that much? Can a guy love two girls?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you might already know the answer to this one. He's trying to have his cake and eat it too. Well, he can't. That's just not fair. I think this is one of those situations where you have to let him go and see if he comes back. If he doesn't come back, then he never really was yours to begin with. And if he does come back, great! I think it's the only real way to know. I'm sorry though, because it's a bad situation.

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    • Yes I already sort of knew but I was hoping for some brilliant solution that would make it all ok. haha. :)

      It is the worst situation. He is stressed and confused as I am so I know I need to duck out, and I am not the type of girl who can play second to anyone else. Just not my style. Thanks so much.

    • I know, it stinks! Unfortunately it's something that everyone experiences sometime in their life. But hey, who knows, maybe if you let him go he'll realize he wants to be with you!

What Guys Said 1

  • I suppose it's really up to you. If you're ok with being his 'on the side', that is completely your choice. If he really respects you, he needs to choose. I've always been more traditional, so that is what I personally believe.

    On the flipside, people have become much more open about the idea of having more than one girlfriend. In fact, the US is one of the only countries where having an affair is an implicit deal breaker. In the US, its almost as if an affair means that you MUST break up, where in other countries, an affair is actually seen as healthy. In certain eastern european countries, it is almost seen as stupid NOT to have an affair or even two lovers.

    It's really up to you...

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    • I am certainly not ok with being his "on the side." Wow. That puts it into perspective. A man's ability to put something so honestly is uncanny sometimes. Talk about the big picture. I feel like I just got slapped in the face. :) In a good way. Thank you.

    • Haha, you're welcome, reality slaps are my specialty ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • I see so many posts about guys and girls being best friends. If it is a group of friends, I understand, but beyond that it is just a thin line between friendship and romance, at least on one person's part. It can make things very confusing for certain and honestly I think it is just a way to keep someone from the opposite sex on the hook for dating potential.

    So, no, he has a girl and kissing each other was wrong. I wouldn't be so dramatic about it breaking both of your hearts. He has a girlfriend. I am sure he will miss the friendship as will you but this would never be the way to start something anyways. You would always be suspicious of him with any other friendships he would have with other girls and it just looks bad. He would likely feel real guilty too and probably keep going back to her one way or another.

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