Men, would you ever be a stay at home dad or house husband? And women would you ever want a man who was?

Sometimes I really think it would be awesome if my husband stayed home (only if he wanted to obviously) when I get married and plus I enjoy working, (well the money that comes with it) lol. I don't want kids so a stay at home dad doesn't apply to me. Just curious what others think.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If there are no kids involved I don't see a point of either man or woman to stay home honestly... But, I would love us to do it that way once we have a kid.

    I earn more than my boyfriend, and it will probably stay that way in the foreseable future. So when we talked about babies and the financial implications, he actually said himself that it would make sense that the partner who earns less (ergo, him) to be the one staying home and only working part time like 60% and have the other 2 days of the week covered by day care (day care in Switzerland costs a ton of muuhla, like 120$ a day so...).
    for me to work part time would be total financial non sense as a simple reduction of 20% a week would mean a considerable hit in our pockets.
    I would try however to do 1 day of home office, if possible, to have more mommy time.

    He would love to do it. He even started phantasizing about taking walks with the stroller, grocery shopping and playing guitar to the baby... I think it would be awesome and love the idea of a great dad and family like that.

    Some guys commenting here have the impression that being a stay at home dad is somehow degrading. That is just a huge WTF for me... I mean, how is it OK for women to stay home but a big No No for a man? That is just a huge double standard and immensly sexist.

    in my opinion being a parent takes a shitload of work and time, and is just as respectable of a "job" than any other. If not more important.

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What Guys Said 31

  • I quit my job when our twin dau's arrived and stayed home with them until they started school. My wife was on an xtra 4k a year to me, and as a diesel mechanic by trade i could pick up weekend work anyway...
    I loved being home with my girls, luckily we were both home one evening to see the first steps i got the first word from one, my wife heard first word of the other... and i've seen so many milestones along the way...
    I'd do it again in a heartbeat, but i don't have to worry about that happening as we can't have any more anyway...
    To all, make the most of what you have, family comes first and they grow up so damn quick... "Cats in the cradle" is a really relavant song...
    Make the effort to spend time with your kids, or you'll never know them...

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    • That's awesome :)

    • I feel i need to say something after reading some of the comments.. there's a huge difference between house husband, and home dad!! House husband would be expected to clean, vacuum, wash & iron clothes, pack them away, cook, shop, budget & pay bills for two adults..
      Where as home dad of pre school aged children does all of the above, plus take care of children, THIS IS NOT SITTING THEM IN FRONT OF TV.. like most men assume happens, you spend your day reading to them from birth ( will increase their iq by about 20 points) feeding them, changing them, playing with them, educating them, manners, words, body language, communication, teaching them patience, what sorts of behavior is acceptable from a young age, washing their clothes and packing them away, playgroup outings, play ground outings, shopping for food and clothes, immunizations, infant welfare check ups, the list goes on and on... Any guy that thinks he's going to get hours to himself has no F#%£ng idea...
      Try doing it...

    • Yeah well what can I say... You're awesome 👍 not too many around like you!

  • I think I'd like it. I love my kids. Some parts would be hard but others nice. I'd do it to be with them.

    However I make about quadruple the highest salary my partner reached so that's not happening.

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    • I think it would be awesome if more dads could stay at home honestly or spend more time with their children.

    • I spend as much time as I can given the three hours of commuting I do so they can have a house.

  • Stay at home with free rent and play with kids? Sure why not? I know it has its moments of hell and stress but I still feel it sounds like a lot of fun honestly. I don't mind kids when they're not mine with a job but I wouldn't mind them not having to work a full time job.

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  • Yeah, that's gonna be a big ol' "fuck no" from me.

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    • This question sure brought out the F bomb in some men, thanks for answering though lol

  • I wouldn't mind it. I wanna get married and have kids, and I don't wanna be the kind of father that works all day and has no time for his kids, I couldn't do that.

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  • No I wouldn't like it.

    I think I naturally want to be a provider. But I want her to be too. I'd prefer if we both worked. But I'd like to make a little more money than her.

    I don't like women who are very career driven, independent and dominant. I'd prefer if we were both equals. But I do want to make a little more money than her, I guess because I just want to be a good provider, someone she can depend on. But I don't want her to be some gold digger either.

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  • Fine with me. I'd have a ton of projects to keep me busy. I'm not going to sit around doing nothing all day though. That's time that could be spent working on something or improving myself somehow. House husband doesn't look very impressive on a resume.

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  • If my job allowed me to work from home most of the year/time, then absolutely! I could be more productive both for my job and for at home. I can maybe cook healthier home-cooked meals so that I would hardly have to go to the doctor. Of course, if my house is already very clean, then it wouldn't be horrible to go to the office. Of course, having a car and paying for it's gas and insurance can and does add up. Not going to the office sure would save me that money, not to mention I may not have to dress up at all sometimes.

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  • Theoretically: Yes, I'd love it. I'm a better cook than any woman I know, and I'm very into gardening and doing house projects. I wouldn't mind the cleaning either, and I love kids.

    In practice: No. For this to be feasible I'd need to find a wife who was "superior" to me in social and earning potential. I don't have any extremely redeeming qualities to make up for my lack of earnings/power position in the family, so the marriage probably wouldn't last.

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  • Sure if my hypothetical future wife made more money but I'm not the most nurturing person in the world lol

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    • Lol, I thought that way to until my sister had my Niece and i'm still awkward with kids and I treat them like adults but you would be surprised how much kids actually like you regardless haha

  • I could do that.

    But when the kids were old enough, I'd probably employ them in some way on another. E. g. train them to be highly paid assassins and take a cut of the earnings.

    That way I'd still be doing something with my life besides raising kids.

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  • don't wanna marry... but i'm good with housework basically...:-)

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    • Well, boyfriends included so you're good lol

  • I was a stay at home husband / dad for 14 years. and worked nights. I loved it. didn't get me far though. as she had an affair . but I would never trade that time in... and would do it all over again... even if she still had another affair.

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  • No thank you. I don't mind being nurturing but I have my own career aspirations that mean a lot to me.

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  • Do nothing but play Legos with the kids all day? Fuck yeah!

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  • Well I can manage a house
    So yeah I can be a house husband as you ask
    And I don't mind it given she can earn enough to have a life we both desire you know :)
    That's what I think for now at least

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  • I would be. I actually was for about three years. I went to work just because I got bored and we could use a little extra cash.

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  • Sure! Marry meh! x)

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    • woohoo lol

    • I'll be waiting inside to give u pleasures anyday when u need it ☺️☺️☺️

  • HELL YES I would

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  • I wouldn't mind being a single dad like a lot of my friends. I enjoy cooking etc. I would still work however as engineering is my life.

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  • I wouldn't mind as long as the wifey has a decent salary lol.

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  • I tried it for a while but I like working too.

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  • Hmm that doesn't work for me but I think some people will be so happy with this haha

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  • Yeah I don't mind doing that I prefer finding a home job anyways I hate dealing with people, paying for gay and traffic.

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  • Heck no. I will never be a slave!

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    • Lol, I would be doing more of the work, how are you my slave?

    • I would have to kiss up to you and do whatever you wanted me to do. If I mess up you will replace me!

    • I don't like pushovers, sorry

  • Absolutely not at all. I'd divorce my hypothetical wife before I did that.

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  • Of course. Why would I not?

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  • I wouldn't mind it. Except every guy I know or any such arrangement I've ever been made aware of turned into a disaster. She'd completely stop thinking of and respecting him as a man, then the marriage would dissolve. So I guess no.

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  • It would be awesome. I would love nothing more than to be a stay at home dad. I love cooking and baking, so that would be a huge plus to have time to cook from scratch like I enjoy doing.

    Unfortunately most women have been taught being a stay at home spouse is a worthless person, so they have a really hard time respecting a man that stays home. I even hear women talk shit about women that stay home all the time. As a result I wouldn't even consider staying home. I know eventually she would stop viewing me as an equal if I did.

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    • I'm sure it would be looked down upon by others but what isn't lol

    • What matters is that my wife respect me. Just look at most of the women on here and how much most women hate the idea. They have been taught that stay at home spouses have no value. The odds of finding a woman that is okay with it and that I am compatible with is incredibly rare. Even if she was okay with it at first that could change over time as all of her coworkers and family would constantly be telling her how worthless her man is. Eventually after years of coming home stressed form work things would come to a head. Most men that do stay home report higher stress levels with their major complaint being that his wife doesn't respect him.

      Taking all that into consideration it just isn't worth it to me to stay at home even though I would love to.

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 10

  • I have no desire to be a stay at home mom. So, why would I want a husband who would do that?

    It's best that we both work just in case something happens or so could save and spend the way we want to.

    And if... just if there would be divorced we don't have to worry about one being dependent on another like a crutch.

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  • ain't no way in hell I want some man laying up at the house while I go to work. I want to marry a MAN not a man-child who thinks he's too cute to work.

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    • Stay at home mothers do a ton of work as well you know.

  • I have some friends that have this arrangement actually. He was in corporate finance but it was just crazy work all of the time. She got pregnant but didn't want to give up med school. So he's stayed home while she's finished her schooling and worked for a few years.
    Now that their kids are old enough he's considering going back to work because he gets bored.

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  • If he wants to then yeah i would not mind. I would still do most of house work though since that's the way i release all my stress 😅🙊

    i would not want him to just stay home doing nothing though.🙊
    He could study or try to think about new business plans. I would want someone who likes to think about future and "live" his life. :)

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  • If it's my husband's dream to stay home then sure, become house father. He does have to do the choirs then, like cooking, take care of the kids etc.

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  • Hell no! I plan on working hard and making enough money to support myself but I want a man who can match that work ethic and dedication.

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    • I think the whole "wife won't respect me" issue that the guys are talking about is because if a guy did stay home, would he really do all the cleaning, cooking, landscaping, take care of the kids etc? This is supported by some of the guys' answers thinking that if they agreed they'd just stay at home and play around.

      Hypothetically, if I did want kids, I made more money than my husband, and no other alternatives were available I'd consider letting my husband stay home short term BUT I'd be really pissed if I came home and nothing was done and the house was a mess.

    • You don't sound like very much fun lol

    • After reading other answers I modified mine a bit *see comment*. Unless we are struggling financially, my problem wouldn't be about him not making money. I'd be more bothered if he was just playing around all day and didn't get anything done. That's why in my original answer I mentioned work ethic and dedication. You can apply those principles to any stay at home chores.

  • That's not a relationship for me

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  • Ultimately no. I want him to work because an idle mind is a dangerous mind.

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  • If we have kids it might be a good idea to switch off in terms of working until they're a bit older (I want time with them too), but if there aren't any kids, I don't see the point in anyone staying at home. The kind of man I want to marry would be as unsatisfied and bored staying at home, watching soaps, and cooking & cleaning as I would be. I'd hope he's ambitious and has career aspirations of his own.

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  • I can't imagine a world where we don't both have to work to make ends meet. If I had money, I'd totally be open to that - especially if we could have a garden and some fruit trees.

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    • Yeah, pay isn't so great these days and especially if people want children, it would be difficult to make enough to support them as well.

    • I'd make a great househusband considering how much I garden and cook. Sadly it's only a pipe dream.

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