Is it okay to keep seeing a guy who's playing games while I choose to date other people or should I just move on and not continue messing with him?


Preferably, If I had to answer my own question, I would say I would keep it going as long as I wanted to but I don't wanna get too attached in the end if it doesn't go anywhere. It hurts my ego the most to think that I'm being used but he's pretty nonexistent throughout the week. Very very light communication (a couple to 15-20 texts a day and maybe a phone call a week.

When we are together he is very, very decent and proper with me though. Even though it's more like a casual fling, I really like what we have going on and our personalities work well together. We laugh, talk about our lives, our desires, the future, slowly giving more and more about our pasts. But it's been 2 months and we've only went out once so far (it was the night before Valentine's Day and he just bought me a little Victoria's Secret gift set). We always cuddle and wake up and leave together in the morning.

I told him I'm down for anything (anything from extremely casual/fwb/cutty buddy... to something potentially more serious)

He always hints towards serious, but he never really gives me a definite answer. Should I keep going for now or has it been too long? I really have no idea here. I'm naive and new to dating. Lol but hey, it is what it is honestly and I just want to know what's up. I've brought it up so many times but he never gives an answer that's clear enough. It doesn't have to be this difficult to just get an answer out of somebody.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • NO. Here's the thing: Tomorrow is not promised. It sounds cliché but the reality of the matter is that you could be laying in a morgue by the end of a week because of a car accident, or an aneurism, or a lunatic who just so happened to go on a shooting spree where you were at.
    As women, our energy is precious, divine, and golden and we must not give it to men who have not earned it and don’t deserve it. This is the leading cause of heartbreak and emotional turmoil that lasts for YEARS. Letting a guy use you like you’re some blow-up doll with a heartbeat is a smack in the face to yourself and all that’s beautiful WITHIN you. All the attributes that come with you, the skills you’ve mastered, the good in you that you had to fight to keep because of this world’s chaos. All of that is being dismissed and unappreciated so that you can be used for the size of your parts, the shape of your parts, what you are willing to do with those parts, and how available you are when it comes to his schedule. It’s not right. You deserve better. You don’t deserve to be waiting around to be taken seriously and treated like a highly respected, truly cared for woman.

    I see you desperately digging for something to contradict the truth about his nature. But to be honest, he sounds like a sleazy, self-absorbed asshole and I’m willing to bet there’s not much of a value system there for him to just lead you on and string you along like that. Please girl, us women need to really start nurturing our minds and hearts with experiences that are not going to impede our sense of serenity.

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    • Don't worry girl, I've got you and hear what you're saying.

      Personally, I don't feel like I'm being used because I'm under my own terms.

      In the beginning I honestly was not talking to other people so I could get to know him.

      Now I'm just living a single life basically doing my own thing and accomplishing my own goals living my own life.

      I stick around because I want to and I'm still curious and intrigued as long as he gives me a reason to be (and don't worry, he is to a certain extent but not up to my standards for anything serious) so I'm just treating it casually just for the sake of curiosity. You never know but I don't do anything I would regret.

      I really like his personality though and I admire many traits in him so far so I'd like to learn more. He's the type of person I wouldve been friends with personally if I hadn't crossed paths with him the way I did.

      With that being said, you're absolutely right. Thank you so much for your input. :)

      Us women have to stick together

    • You sound like you’re trying to justify what comes across as pure stupidity. No offense.
      I’m sorry, but if you continue to do this, then it’s just plain dumb and unhealthy. You’ve been warned.

What Guys Said 1

  • Jhow about you ask him on a date... and start introducing him as your boyfriend... a guy doesn't have to be the only one who initiates

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What Girls Said 2

  • Just keep going as long as you sure you can walk away if it leads nowhere

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  • I've been there. It seems to me that he needs more time to answer ur question. It looks like a fling for now but he hints towards serious meaning he does wanna date u properly. I say u give him some time and then if things are not changin, you should ask him straight to give u an answer. But since u're down for anything, i wonder why u care?

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