Asked out a girl, she said maybe, now what?

This cute girl got hired at work, but in another department, we work in retail. I started talking to her and making a point to show I was interested. I always wait too long to ask out a girl, I have horrible timing, or I find out she's taken. This girl is single, and she made sure to let me know. I decided to take a gamble and ask her out. Unfortunately, I wasn't as suave as I wanted to be. I asked her if she wanted to hang out sometime outside of work. She said, "Maybe, what did you have in mind?" I said dinner this Saturday night. She seemed uninterested in my suggestion and then proceeded to give me an excuse for being busy. I said that was okay. I talked to her a bit more after that, but I didn't want to push it. I tried to play it off. After thinking about her response, I realized that maybe she would have been open to do something else. She didn't flat out reject me. I'm not ready to give up so easily either, but now I get anxious when I'm around her. Then I found out she told some of our coworkers about it. I felt embarrassed. Do I still have a shot with her? Should I just be upfront about my anxiety, and tell her that she makes me nervous?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • There is a saying that clearly spells out guys mistakes with girls. "Women don't lie, men don't listen. Her response to you asking for a date was crystal clear if you took the time to listen and not let your ego trip you up. Part of the problem with men not understanding what a woman is trying to say is that they use a language not easily understood by men. It's called
    "womanese." Once a man becomes even slighty fluent in the language, women become less of a mystery.

    So on to your case. When asking a woman out on a date, any answer other than yes means no. Guys miss this important clue because they don't understand the speak. When she answered, "maybe" you were dead in the water. You didn't have a chance! But you still refused to accept what she was saying by thinking "She didn't flat out reject me," and that "I'm not ready to give up so easily..." She wants nothing to do with you romantically. But like most men you will not accept this and return for more embrassment and another beating.

    I recommend you stop wasting your time on this woman and move on another one that is more receptive to your advances. Next time keep your ears open and your eyes peeled for that not well understood language that these beautiful women speak. Women don't lie, men don't listen.

    Good luck.

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    • I appreciate your honesty. Why can't women just say no thanks? At least I would no without a doubt there's no chance.

    • While there is some value and truth in what you said about maybe meaning no, I have to argue against giving up completely.

      As long as women fantasize about being seduced, I'm gonna be persistent. To what measure? Well that of course depends on the circumstance. Of course I pursue multiple women, so I'm not hung up on one girl and stalking her. But I allow myself multiple bites of the apple. Circumstances change. If the response is exactly the same every time then, yeah there's no point. But if something is different, then why not ask again? Doesn't hurt to ask.

    • Just remember what I was said. Women don't lie, men don't listen!

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • Don't feel ashamed and don't give up until she really blows you off. Ask her again after talking to her and getting to know her some more. Go with something you found out she likes, or use what you have learnt about her to suggest a date she may like the sound of.

    It's possible she just wants a casual date rather than a dinner.

    If she told others it's probably a good thing, it means she enjoyed your attention. Just keep on trying, girls appreciate that as long as you stop if you are clearly let down.

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  • "Should I just be upfront about my anxiety, and tell her that she makes me nervous?"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA No. NEVER show weakness to a female.

    Sorry to say buddy, but you gotta do some reading up on game. Do you even know what "PUA" is?

    She's not attracted to you. You need to make her feel attraction to you, then if you ask her out on a date she'll be enthusiastic.

    Don't feel embarrassed. Why should you apologize for having wants and needs?

    Could be that your date idea was kinda lame. (Cuz you're kinda lame.) You can read up on exciting date venues. Also dinner, sounds like a whole thing. If you said, "Let's grab a candy apple from the store here in the mall after work." she would have thought, "I haven't had a candy apple for a while. Shit, I didn't even know they sold them here. And it's just around the corner, so it's not like I'm obligated to sit there and be bored for an hour and a half."

    Mostly you need to flirt her up more.

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    • While I appreciate your opinion and criticism, you have no right to judge me. We've never met. Lacking the social skills to talk to women doesn't make a guy lame, it just makes him normal. Just like some guys are good at football, others are good at playing guitar or solving math problems. Not everyone can excel at everything, and that's a life lesson to be learned.

    • Yes. I agree with you completely. :) I'm glad to meet someone that sees the ridiculousness in this. That's right. Just because you might have apprehension doesn't mean you have no value. More of us men should think that way. Accepting our faults and believing we are worthy. Kudos.

      Unfortunately for us, there is still the ho's we have to worry about. And while I might not think you're "lame" for wanting to have dinner, girls do think that way. That's just reality that you need to be aware of. I wish you luck in getting that date.

  • A date is not hanging out. Hanging out is bowling or playing some pool over a few beers. Baseball game, things like that.

    Try again.

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  • Id just be like whatever. Like your a man she's a women. You put it out there she turned you down. Best thing you can do is just ignore it and be cool.

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