Should I stop trying to date while I'm losing weight/getting in shape?

I haven't had much luck with dating, I didn't have my first date until I was 20 (less than a year ago) and of the few girls I've dated only one went on more than one date with me... never had a girlfriend, not even in school.

Anyway I think I'm making some progress in terms of how well they dates feel like they've gone and in reducing the time between girls agreeing to go on a date with me (which is important as so far they've all lost interest fairly quickly, so I think the more girls I can date the better). So I'm not giving up on dating, and I think some of my problems are personality issues I need to change, however obviously being overweight isn't going to be helping - I don't see why a girl would want me as a boyfriend at the moment even if I had normal social skills.

So my question is should I stop investing time in dating for the moment and concentrate on getting fit in my spare time, then go back to dating in few months?

General suggestions/advice would be welcome.

  • Yes, stop dating getting lean and fit.
    36% (4)27% (3)32% (7)Vote
  • No, keep trying to date while getting fit.
    55% (6)64% (7)59% (13)Vote
  • See answers
    9% (1)9% (1)9% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If they can not love us at our worst they do not deserve us at our best. Just a simple phrase to remember when dating. I could say get healthy for you and not another person but its not always that simple. Honestly what ever the reason you are getting fit is a good reason. But as to how it applies to your dating life, it doesn't! Just go out their and date. Trust me a relationship built on mutual friendship goes so much further than most of the ones built on mutual attraction. Just balance your time between dating and getting in shape. Dates are a few hours a week. Getting healthy is every meal and an hour of exercise a day. I was in the same boat as you I didn't date anyone until I was 21. I was over weight and a huge stereotypical socially awkward nerd. Have you tried online dating? That helped me a lot. You can find someone you get along with much faster and break the ice before you ever have to meet eye to eye.

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What Girls Said 2

  • losing weight for a healthy body is great. however, you want to make sure you're losing the weight for yourself, not just for the girls that will judge you solely based on your physical appearance. you want to find a girl that can look past your insecurities and perfect imperfections and like you for the person you are :)

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  • Yes, absolutely. You should take as much time as you feel you need to take care of yourself. And do keep in mind ~ being healthy doesn't just mean working out and eating right, it's being able to accept and embrace yourself no matter what your dating status is or what you look like. Work on being healthy, rather than just being lean or fit

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    • By fit I mean healthy basically, and by lean I mean healthy weight. I guess increase muscle size/definition might be appealing to some girls, but primarily I want to be (and look) healthy, which I think would be enough for the type of girls I'm interested in.

What Guys Said 3

  • Fitness is for life bro. Getting fit and STAYING fit require you to keep doing it. There no "getting fit" and then suddenly quit everything and think thing will stay the same.

    Do both. I don't see why you can't. I can. You can too.

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    • There's getting fit and then once I'm fit it will be staying fit. I'm unfit at the moment, but working on it, once I'm fit I'll be maintaining that, staying fit, for now I think it's completely accurate to say "getting fit".

  • If the girl you are with sees you in sweaty clothes or sees you working out she's gonna know that you care about how you look and it shows that you might be trying to impress her.

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    • I don't have a girl yet though... and I'm not going to turn up to a date all sweaty...

      What I'm asking is should I keep trying even though I'm obviously unfit, isn't pretty futile, or do you think some girls would be interested in a guy who needs to get fit?

  • Stop dating. Come back like you were in a fucking time chamber on these hoes.

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