Guys, why does he have to be so damn complicated?

I was once in love with him, but he was in love with someone else. It didn't work out between them.

He still act like he likes me, only that the things he do has intensified.
- He stares and if I ignore him, he will do it for a very long time.
- He is loud around me. (New thing)
-We don't interact at all, but out of nowhere he wants to hug me. (New thing, usually we avoid each other)
-He listens to my conversations, but he never join them.
-His body is often turned towards me.
-He is nervous/insecure when it comes to me. (Something I just realized)
-He trash talk all the girls he been with or them from his past (New thing).

The reason why I think he is complicated is because he tend to get really drunk at parties and then he's busy trying to get sex. He have already tried getting it from me 3 or 4 times, that is a year ago. I'm fine with the sex hunt, but what bothers me is when he act like he likes me AND hunt for sex.

Why is he doing these two very contradictory things? Is there a chance he really likes me? If he do, why would he sleep with other girls? Or is he leading me on? Playing games?


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What Guys Said 2

  • From what I gather... you said that you loved him previously, but does he know? If he knows, then he may be thinking, "hey, this chick likes me. I can probably score pretty easy with her" And that might explain his behavour.

    Fear not though. If you still like him, here's your chance. If he thinks you liked him, pull away and act disinterested. He will wonder why you stopped liking him and will try and get your love back. Eventually he will find that he is beginning to like you. Don't totally shrug him off though. Be nice, but treat your niceness as platonic. Hope this helped, and if there's any other questions, lemme know!

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    • He knows. And I've acted very cold since, I feel like he was leading me on. I don't think he think he can get me easily. He is insecure about approaching me. I think he's a bit insecure in general.
      I do have some feelings for him, but I'm not in love with him.
      I think he might like me, he is giving me so many signs, look above. But he still sleeps with other girls when he is drunk. I'm okay with him sleeping with girls. But I'm not okay with him acting like he likes me AND have sex with a bunch of girls when he is drunk.
      I'm just wondering if he really likes me? If he do, why does he have sex with girls when he is drunk? The things he do are very contradictory

    • Well, if he's not officially with you, isn't it ok to have sex with other girls in the meantime? Apart from that, he doesn't seem that complicated. He may like you, because there are signs, and he must be attracted to you because he's tried to have sex with you. But since you're not giving it up, he may feel rejected and thats why he may be going after other girls. I would suggest not giving him the complete cold shoulder. Don't ignore him constantly, give him some hints that you're interested, maybe a smile, or a wave. That would seem friendly, but will also give him the thought that maybe you like him, and his feelings for you will grow.

    • Yes, he can have sex with who he want. The fact he sleeps around isn't a problem. What bothers me is he act interested and have sex with others. If he just acted friendly and normal and slept around, I would be fine with that.
      Since I'm not giving what up? Since I didn't want to have a one night stand he might feel rejected? Few months later when he found out I had feelings for him, he rejected me?
      I don't ignore him constantly. There is no time to smile, if I catch him looking at me he looks away fast.

  • You do realise that he is not himself when drunk, don't you?

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    • You're yourself when you're drunk.

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    • Im not someone who drinks. That is because I had times when I was very drunk. At least I couldn't control myself. My friends where there for me, fortunately to stop me from behaving like an asshole.
      The guy in question may be complicated, but if you really want to clear things up and find out what he wants with or without you, you should sit down with him and speak openly.

    • And I'm completely opposite, I can control myself when I'm drunk.
      You're right. The best thing I can do is to talk to him. But we are on hugging terms, not on speaking terms. ;) Also last time I tried I got rejected. So I'm too scared, proud and all that crap to talk to him.
      We don't have any contact, no phone number, I'm not on facebook and we don't follow each other on twitter or instagram. I don't want to do the first move... Again.

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