I went on one date with this guy nearly a year ago, and we sort of lost contact afterwards (which was good, because I found him annoying). Last week he texted me saying that his girlfriend dumped him and he really needed someone to talk to. I agreed to hang out with him after clarifying that it wasn't a date this time. While hanging out, I said that I just wanted to be friends, but he kept insisting we were more than that. I told him I didn't want a relationship, so he suggested we just hook up. I told him that I didn't want anything physical and he kept asking why not. I had no clue how to answer him, because the truth is that I'm not at all attracted to him. I obviously didn't want to say something so mean though.
I told him firmly that I didn't want to be anything more than friends, and at first he seemed to understand. However, then he started saying that he found it hard to "control himself" around me. He kept asking me all night to make out with him, and eventually I gave in just to shut him up. Now I feel like an idiot for giving him mixed signals. He then told me that he wanted to take me out again, and I stupidly agreed because I couldn't think of a polite way to turn him down.
How can I tactfully tell him I don't want to see him again? I'm afraid of hurting his feelings, as he told me he hasn't stopped thinking about me since last year. By kissing him and agreeing to hang out again, did I send a message that I like him? I feel like such a spineless and terrible person and I really need advice.
Most Helpful Guy
Guy: says whatever the girl wants to hear so that he can maintain the contact while determining how to seduce/intimidate/threaten her into having sex
Girl: no self-esteem, so afraid to say "no" that she will say "yes" just to avoid a conflict.
Solution: He won't change, so either girl has sex just to keep him happy (extremely bad idea) or she decides to stand up for herself and say "no" . . . unless she really wants sex with the guy but doesn't want to admit it to herself, so this is a convenient way for her to have sex and blame somebody else (which is rather juvenile.)0