Why can't we love multiple people at the same time?

Love is a beautiful thing. Why can't we love a lot of people at the same time? Why do we need to be selfish and only can love one person?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Become a Mormon. Enter into a polygamous marriage. In the way that you mean, a counterpart of oneself to mate with and support, it's impossible for someone to love multiple people equally. In monogamy, people are not supposed to be left out. It's a challenge for some individuals to develop honesty, axioms, compromise. If they can't be faithful to one person and take care of the offspring, they fail at reliably propagating their own species.

    Intimate relationships with two healthy, mentally competent people comes with rewards like attentive rapport, strengthening of the immune system. Kissing wards off viruses and sexual reproduction is superior to asexual across the same species because of proven protection against diseases and in terms of offspring, there will be more variant adaptation with the way mates are sought out, different genes are combined. But with multiple partners, especially liberal individuals, homosexuals, there's something called STDs, the spread of disease. Moderation across the board should be strived for. Like it or not, our species is meant for pair bonding.

    Personally, I'm wired for one woman. I've found her, an amazon. Many girls are hardly images of fertility. Some come across as petulant, frigid dames, especially when they just want to selfishly use their male counterparts as expendable tools to the woman's spiteful ego.

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What Guys Said 17

  • I think you need to rephrase the question you do not mean why can't we but instead you mean why doesn't society accept it? The honest answer is because of very old stereotypes and mating rituals that are put into us from birth. Its a broader question that I think is starting to come into society and I think we are finally at a point where this might become normal aka acceptable. Personally I am a one women girl but even I have fallen for two women at once. Many will say its impossible but unless you have been there you wouldn't know. I will say I loved one more but I deeply cared for both. Was it fair to them no but it was not my fault and the world tells them I am a jack ass and that its all my fault. But like so many things in the human mind its unforeseen and uncontrollable. Years of religious teaching of a 2 person marriage is the biggest reason and probably the best simple answer to your question.

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  • I agree with @misupanda she's spot on.
    I love a lot.. family, friends, pets but there's a few kinds of love. And when it comes to Her, the One I love with no words to decribe or thoughts imagine just how much, it's a love like no other. It's like when you look at her walking down to come see you and you know the greatest thing that ever happened in your life happened the day you stared at her awkwardly, on purpose for 2 seconds but it felt like forever and thing was, she was so weird she didn't care haha, its things like that you can't change or make twice. And its not selfish... it's love

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    • But you can always when you look at THEM walking down to come see you and you know the greatest thing that ever happened in your life happened the day you stared at THEM awkwardly. It doesn't have to be just ONE out of 7 billion people, it can be more than that and you can love them all?

    • Haha trust me, it's just her. I don't know what it is and I don't mind if I never know but the way I look at her, how much I love her, that's the kind of love I can only give to one, a kind of love I doubt exists else where and when I say its unconditional, I mean every letter of it

  • You can. People wired for monogamy don't understand how it's not possible, but for those 57% of men and 43% of women that are NOT wired for monogamy, it is perfectly possible to love multiple people at the same time.

    Polyamory wouldn't exist as a concept if that wasn't possible. And it does.

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    • But then you're considered an a**hole or a bitch for doing that? Why?

    • Because people that are wired for monogamy do not understand how you feel. And do not think it's possible, because they cannot experience it for themselves.

      I could go off on a long tangent about the evolution of marriage and why it was set up to support monogamy, but that doesn't really matter, to be honest. It's simply a case of people not understanding, not being able to understand, and so they reject that which they cannot believe. On top of that, you have people feeling 'jealous' that other people seem to be having something that they don't have. Why people seem to care so much about what other consenting adults do behind closed doors without them is something that we could talk about for a long time. I imagine jealousy is probably the root cause though.

  • Because God wants to have an exclusive relationship with you and he wants you to love him only first before anyone else.

    This is why the commandment of "Thou shall not worship any gods before the LORD."

    He wants to be first in your life.

    And after you learn to love God first exclusively, then he teaches you to love your perfect mate exclusively like you love God.

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  • who said that? vthat's possible basically... u can love and 2 and 3 at the same time basically...;-)

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    • But then you're considered an a**hole or a bitch for doing that?

    • Lmao I love how you say basically after everything

  • I guess it depends on what you mean by love. If you mean platonic love, then of course you can love more than one person. A lot of people do, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you are talking romantic love, then there's a lot to it.

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  • You can. Polygamy has been found in thousands of cultures around the world.

    If it wasn't possible to be romantically in love with multiple people, the practice of polygamy wouldn't exist as vastly as it does/did.

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  • Hello? do you not have any family or friends?

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    • I'm talking about bf/gf only.

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    • Cheating is an ugly term. Love is a beautiful thing. Why do you become ugly just because you do a lot of beautiful things at once?

    • Part of Loving someone is being committed to them. So you would not be committed which really means you really don't love them.

  • To be honest the human brain isn't really wired for it.

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    • It's all in the brain affected by social concepts that you can only love one person :/

    • Historically there has never been a polyamorous society.

  • Whats love

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  • You can but your not suppose to follow every thought your mind wants

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  • We actually do...
    Parents
    Lovers
    Siblings

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  • Imagine the amount of drama.

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  • You can love everyone, but the person being loved wants all of your attention

    ?

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    • Why being selfish then?

  • Great excuse for cheating

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    • I like how your shallow brain works.

    • Me too. I wish I could throw my shallow brain in the trash where it belongs and buy a new brain but I don't have that kind of money.

  • King of Saudi Arabia does

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  • Because that's fucked up basically... unless everyone involved is on board

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What Girls Said 8

  • Depending on what kind of love you're talking about, it is possible. You can love all of your family and friends. But when it comes to intimate relationship, once it becomes serious, we tend to become possesif and want that person all to ourselves. It can be possible to have an open relationship involving many other partners but I don't think I can consider it love. Because love is a very strong thing and if you share it with many others I feel like that love isn't as strong as it would be with just one person. Because love involves loyalty and trust. That's my take, it could be different for others depending on how they look at relationships.

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    • I'm talking about intimate relationship. I feel like you can truly love multiple people at the same time. The "we want that person all to ourselves" is what I'm talking about - selfish. Why we need to be that selfish? I don't understand humans. It's a social concept that love involves loyalty and trust. It's just in the brain affected by social concept. Anyone who doesn't seek acceptance from others, in this case loving only one person, is considered an a**hole or a bitch. Just why?

    • I guess its human nature, kind of like jealousy, it just happens. And also it's implanted in our brains that we belong to one and only one person because of tradition, its kind of always been like that. But this kind of selfishness is actually out of love as well. I do agree that people can call others names because of that. But it all depends on who says it. Some people dont see or understand things the way you do because it goes against their values, so if you are to be in a relationship with many people, its best to make sure they all see eye to eye with you because if not, they will feel jealousy and it could lead to fighting calling each other a*ssholes and b*tches. I honestly do believe in being commited to one person but I respect your views, you live the way you want to. And if the people you are in a relationship with you feel the same way as you do then there shouldn't really be a problem.

  • You can love people at the same time, but different kinds of love. I don't believe you can love 2 people in the same way when it comes to "the one". That's just what I think though..

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    • It's all in the brain affected by social concepts that you can only love one person :/

    • For me, it's not a social concept. I have loved before, once or twice, but the types of love were different. I may not have understood that at the time, but now looking back on it, they were.

      I do see where you're coming from. I just don't think it's possible to love 2 people in the exact same way when it comes to your "soulmate", "the one", whatever you wanna call it. xD

  • I do. I love so many people.
    My parents, siblings, nieces, friends, sister in law etc...

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  • It's possible but it's called being monogamous.

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  • But you can, though.

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    • But then you're considered an a**hole or a bitch for doing that? Why?

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    • Not necessarily marrying multiple people, but in a relationship with multiple people and love all of them. Problem: None of them will be happy if I do that. They'll all get mad and hate each other and jealous etc.

    • Then yes, that would be quite selfish of you.
      Personally, I could never truly love two people at once. If I am with someone, I will dedicate all of my love and affection to them and only them. However, I don't see why this is the only way it ought to be. There is also much beauty in loving multiple people at once, as I believe you previously stated. However, if those people that you share a relationship with get angry and jealous, then I would deem the act of being in a romantic relationship with all at once to be quite corrupt. However, there's nothing wrong with simply loving many people at once (without being romantically involved with all of them).

  • you totally can but its the fact if you are dating someone and love someone else

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  • implying that we can't.

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  • you can but I think it'll be mentally and physically frustrating.

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