Hello everyone, I especially want the input from adult guys on this question. I met someone who lives long-distance away on an online dating site. This guy is an educated professional in the science field, like me (he has a master's degree while I have a PhD). We BOTH work about 80 hrs per week or more.
The first day we talked, he was very enthusiastic to correspond with me. We emailed, texted, and had one phone call all in one day. He seemed very nervous on the phone though, and I felt nervous too.
We are both introverts, small talk isn't "our thing", so I didn't think anything of it. He ended the phone conversation first rather abruptly, but then proceeded to text me later in the night back and forth for about 30 minutes. Our texting went well, and I thought we had slightly more of an interesting texting experience than on the phone.
He asked me to send him more pictures of myself; I did, he said I was quote "very cute" and he "loved" my hairstyle. He then texted me throughout the day the next day with trivial statements that I responded to. Other than that though, he never initiated another text to me for the next 2 weeks (I did them all). When I would initiate, he would reply in a timely fashion but not really ask me follow-up questions or try to prolong the conversation. He also didn't try to call me again in the next two weeks bc he "was busy." But he would reply to any text I sent with a nice response (no one-world answers), just NEVER asked me any questions about me! I was extra cute & sent him light-hearted thinking of you texts on the weekend bc he was working overtime on Saturday. I made them especially cute. lol I get a text at midnight w/ him saying he just got home from work and was hoping we could talk, but was afraid I was sleeping (I was). Why did he not ask me earlier if I could stay up late to be able to talk w/ him? The next day, I say I'm free all day for a phone call. No response from him.30 hrs later, I text him that I think he's wasting my time.
- The guy wasn't interested/invested in serious datingVote A
- The guy was very shy/clueless and I should give him another chanceVote B
Most Helpful Guy
I don't know babe, seems suspicious.
I'd say he's not interested in you.
Because he wasn't initiating the texts nor was he "prolonging" them. And I hate to break it to you, but no guy is THAT clueless when it comes to dating. I mean if a woman initiates a text with me, i KNOW she's interested (and trust me, i'm not the brightest in the bunch).
Also, I'd suggest making the guy work for you. A little initiation here and there is okay, but you can't ALWAYS be initiating. It comes off as needy and desperate, and most men don't want either of those things.
Also, don't EVER (and when I say ever, I really mean EVER) send a guy whom you aren't dating AND whom you aren't very close to, a "thinking of you," text. It's creepy and reaffirms the needy and desperate thing. Plus, if you're texting him, it's implied you're thinking of him.
So. . . this one's a lost cause. No worries. The guy was a disingenuous flake. You got to learn a few things from the experience (like not overly initiating shit, etc.)
So go out (or back online) and keep fishin'!