Best way to tell him I'm not into just hooking up?

I've been on several dates with this guy and things seemed to be going really well. Over the weekend he was a bit distant and I didn't hear from him as much. Things were meant yesterday though. The thing is that he's now suggseting that he just come over for late night sex until we can hang out on Thursday. I've not even slept with him yet anyway. I feel really quite hurt by this as it seems (at least to me) pretty disrespectful. I mean one day he's saying he really likes me and the next day he's saying he just wants to come over for sex and sending me sexts all day. I'm guessing he probably met someone better, right? I really want to stand up for myself as I'm fed up of guys treating me like this, but I don't know what to say?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Be straightforward. No beating around the bush... no compromising. Let him know you dont plan to sleep with him (until whenever u feel the time is right). You guys have to discuss this though. He has to know that you're not into casual sex. Dont even worry about if he found someone else or not. Dont be disloyal to yourself while trying to hang on to someone. In the midst of trying to gain someone u can lose yourself.
    Always remember that you matter, so dont
    be scared to stand up for yourself hun.
    Take care :)

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What Guys Said 3

  • Whats wrong with that at least he's being straight up and honest with you if you dont want him then say it

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  • Be up front and tell him, you're either not interested or not ready..

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  • If you aren't ready I'd say just bail completely. This guy has shown his true intentions, and if you tell him you're not ready 1 of 2 things happen. He accepts it and becomes distant/moves on. Or he says okay and tries to figure out another way to hook up with you before moving on. So he'll slow his roll, but his intentions are still the same. To hook up.

    He's not going to suddenly change and not just want to hook up. Best case is he's a decent guy and just stops pursuing or if he's a dick he'll tell you what you want to hear to get into your pants. Either way, when all is said and done you won't be in a long term relationship with the guy.

    Hence my suggestion of just bailing out. You two aren't on the same page.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Omg I'm in the exact same situation!! Crazy lol
    stick to your morals. Once he sees that you are someone he has to earn he will more than likely rise to the challenge and treat you better
    If not then it's his loss and you're best off moving on in the long run

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    • And by the way, I've had a guy try to get me to have casual sex with him and when I said no and told him what I stand for he asked me out and persued me for months. he's my ex now, but what I'm saying is you won't know truly what will happen all you can do is not allow him the opportunity to disrespect or mistreat you

  • Best way? Face to face if you want to see his reaction. Text if you have already given up on him.

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