Girls, How to prevent being desperate turning 30?

I'm 30 this week and feel devastated about not having the things. I always wanted. I didn't think I'd be so unfortunate and still single. . I just feel like accepting any man that comes my way. Just to feel the loneliness void. I've excepted that I will never have children. But still need a male companion. I really can't be Choosey anymore. I'm already chasing after 20 year olds. Any advice for me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Is it a medical reason why you can't have kids? If it isn't then there's no need to think like that. No one knows the future. Forget your age. It shouldn't consume you like its doing. You should embrace it. Be thankful that you've lived to celebrate your 30th birthday. Some people didn't live to see past 21. Lets be real here. Acting out of desperation often leads to bigger problems. So thank God that you're turning 30. Embrace it. Celebrate it. ... and fyi, you're still in your prime.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Oh I had exactly the same problem when I was about to turn 30... And guess what, nothing changes. After a few months, you get used to the "3x", and you will realize that you are not old and can still achieve all the things you want to. When I was in my early 20s, I thought being 30 basically meant getting retired soon ;-) but once you reach that age you won't feel any different. Don't panick. Don't accept just any man that comes your way. Or do you wanna end up being 40 and divorced?

    I am turning 34 this year, I'm still single and no kids, and guess what, I freaking don't care. I have at least another 5 years to get married and pregnant, so what's the rush. Enjoy the freedom of having no kids and being single as long as you still can. Because one day the right guy will show up and realize how amazing you are.

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  • Anonymous, hi.
    You are not alone in this quandary of the *oh-no-I'm-30-and-where-do-I-go-from-here* department.

    I know that I'm 28, but I'm not far behind in age and yes I used to think the same as you. Until recently...
    My dad turned around and said to me 2 weeks ago to look where I am: I'm not married yet, haven't had kids yet, haven't got a house, haven't settled and "have nothing going for me.", thus *not being a success* to him.

    Success comes in many forms and this relates to the relationship choices we make in life too. For me, ok I didn't become a rocket scientist or win an academy award. I accept that. But I sure do accept one of the biggest successes I've ever had is having the greatest friends to support me, having a job I like and meeting a fantastic guy who I can't get enough of.

    It's not all roses though, the guy I'm dating wasn't the kind of person I ever anticipated dating and getting serious with. But I never picked him *just because* or that I *must choose the next available bachelor to make my dad or others happy*... I chose to take a chance because he was different, or rather, he was seemingly *out of my comfort zone*. The way he is, sometimes I can't be sure if I'm more serious than him, if he wants the whole package seriously or if he just has light discussions. I'm ok with his pace because I'm maternal but not 100% fully ready to want children just yet, plus the relationship is still quite new so it's too early. Not according to my dad it's not. He tries the whole "when will you marry him?", etc etc.

    My advice is don't feel you must rush into anything. 30 for some is an exciting time to still keep the beer on tap getting sloshed while on Oktoberfest festivities, or for others it's finishing off loose ends with studies, career, anything.

    No matter what you want... pick the right bloke or you could wind up with regrets. You'll know when the right time is. You can have it all with a teaspoon of optimism then wash it down with a French martini!

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  • Your werid as fuck.

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  • 30 isn't that old. You shouldn't lose hope

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  • You still have 10-15 years before it starts getting too late to have kids. Relax.

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    • Seriosuly people today live to 100, you ares still really young. Don't sound like you're practically 70.

  • Don't give up hope. 30 is really young, and the thing about life is you never know what or who is round the corner. Maybe try going to open mic nights and approach a nice looking guy, ask him what he thinks about the music etc. Or local events in your area. There could be like minded guys there looking!!

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