Girls, is he cheating on me, or am I just paranoid?

My boyfriend keeps talking about his past relationship with his ex, who I am close friends with now. He does talk to and about her A LOT, but he talks about me to her and also touches me (i. e. heavy petting).

Updates:
The latest thing he said was he'd kiss her if I let him. I told him several times I don't want to enter a polygomist relationship.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It doesn't appear to me, CLASSICDUH, that Neither one of them have much to hide When-------He does talk to and about her A LOT, but he talks about me to her...
    You are buds with his "EX," and with This, he also is talking up a storm to You about Her. I am surmising, with the writing on the wall and all, that he does Still have feelings for Her, can't let go of her right now, because the both of you, are Budding buds now... yes, most likely has feelings left for her.
    No, not 'Cheating" but "Cheating" you somewhat when he cannot seem to let go of the past and even though he is 'Heavy petting' with you, he may still be thinking of her as well.
    You are between the rock and a hard place here, dear, and perhaps you cannot have your cake and eat it Two, as I put it. If you want him to stop his talking and his ticker from Squawking, maybe it would be best to back away from Her a bit and give yourself a chance with romance with him.
    However, he is young, still wet behind the ears in years yet and as I have also mentioned a few times on GAG: When a guy disappears, there is still your bestie bud and a friend till the end many times.
    Good luck. xx

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What Girls Said 11

  • Sounds like your boyfriend is greedy. Don't let him use you, just because you don't want to break up. Some people may be comfortable with polygamy - but if YOU are not, you are entitled to your feelings/wishes. The best way he could show true love for you is to make you feel like HIS girl - and not one of his girls.

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  • I was dating a guy who would always talk about his baby's mom. He would tell me how hot she was. It made my self esteem plumet. He may not be cheating , but none of that is ok! If you are finding that u like him and all of this that he is saying to u is killing u on the inside, find someone else. There are so many men out there find one that will be all about u!

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  • He may not be cheating, but you stated he said, "The latest thing he said was he'd kiss her if I let him". So given the opportunity with your permission he would. He obviously still has an attraction towards her and is thinking of her when he is with you.

    Talking about past relationships is ok, because you learn a lot about the person you are dating. How he treated his ex girlfriends will help you to determine his character. Letting you know he'd kiss her is over stepping a boundary within a relationship, it's disrespectful to you.

    Personally, i'd walk away from a guy who told me "if i allowed him to kiss his ex , he would" I'd give him the go ahead then leave him.

    Why be someone's other , when you can be some elses only.

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  • I don't think he's cheating but I don't think he's over her either.

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  • Girl.
    Here's my advise. 1- tell him that it's not funny when he talks like that and you don't appreciate it. If he cares for you he's limit his contact with her and not talk about her. 2- if this was me, I'd leave his ass. I deserve better than that and I bet you do too. There's men out there that will treat you right.

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  • I think he is still hung up on your friend, and is either trying to get over her with you, or using you to make her jealous.

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  • I don't think he's cheating but I'm sure he wouldn't like it if you talked about your ex all the time, tell him it makes you sad x

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  • he might cheat he doesn't seem to be over her an being friends with her makes it worse

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  • It doesn't seem like he is cheating on you but he is defiantly attracted to her.

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  • Woah, he would kiss her if you let him? He told you that? What a dick!
    You deserve so much better! Seriously get out of there
    I don't think he's 'cheating' but I do believe in emotional cheating. And the fact that he openly said that to you and talks about her to you is extremely disrespectful.
    Let me give you some advice as someone who has been in a similar situation, don't ever let a guy disrespect you. If you want to stay with him you need to tell him exactly how you deserve to be treated, which means YOU are his girlfriend and his ex is in the past. Set standards for yourself.
    He can do whatever he wants, but if he does something against you than he is not good enough and you won't hesitate to move on.
    I wish someone told me that when I was your age, it would have saved me a lot of heartache in the long term gradually letting people hurt me.
    You teach people how to treat you. Remember what you deserve and be strong, but always stay positive x

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  • If he was cheating he would try to avoid talking about her. The fact that he isn't hiding her means he probably isn't.

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