This has happened to me too many times now to think it's just a coincidence. I go on one or maybe two dates with a guy, and he is already totally into me. Saying things like never met anyone like me, and making plans for way in the future, telling me how super glad he is to have met me, how special I am and blah blah. I usually get scared and run off LOL, but the few guys that have somehow caught my interest, I stick around. I always tell them that I am not that special at all, and that they don't know me well enough yet to like me that much, and that they will just be disappointed when they find out I'm just a regular person. Of course they'd deny all of that.
It just somehow freaks me out when they are so into me that early on because they don't know me at all, and I know we're probably both up for a huge disappointment. So at that stage, I am a bit distant and don't show too much interest, while the guys court me pretty nicely. But then, later on, when I know the guy enough and start to actually like him, and show him that I like him, I don't know, it's not even a power-shift, it's like they totally lose interest. Basically from one day to another. They stop texting and calling and don't wanna hang out anymore.
FYI I didn't sleep with any of those guys, so it's not like they just like the chase and leave when they got what they wanted.
I just don't get it. I mean, I may not be as special as they think at the beginning, but I am still a fairly nice, funny, smart and caring person (at least my friends say so). I'm not clingy and don't ask for commitment or anything, so I just don't understand why they don't wanna date me anymore as soon as I like them.
And it just hurts. I keep my guard up for so long, and the moment I let it down and develop feelings, they decide to leave. Would they leave sooner, it wouldn't hurt, but they wait till that moment when it does hurt. Why?
Most Helpful Girl
You say it is a pattern, about how many dates into this are you when they lose interest?
If they are coming on strong like that out of the gate, no sex then they eventually go?
If a guy likes you but has been on the dating scene a while they tend to only be patient for so long then give up if you aren't opening up after 5 dates or more (if they like you).
I'm weary of any guy who is overly excited halfway through the first date. Whatever their excitement is based on is rarely based on reality and often superficial attributes like looks and a good job. It's often a sign of instability. I do not arrange second dates with these men but am polite. They my text for a few weeks despite no response confirming my decision to steer clear.
When I go on really good first dates I think we both feel a bit of a glow/ smile but you don't jump into how great the other person is and plan for the future other than lets do this again.0