Who is more important and why?

Who should be more Important in a guys life his mom or fiancé and why?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Over time, the fiancé will become more important, at least where day to day life is concerned. But a guy will love his mother, and getting in the way of that can be a fast trip to the doghouse.

    It is important to keep open communication and make sure any issues are discussed rationally and calmly. A mother will always be an important part of a guy's life, but she shouldn't be involved in his day to day. Some mothers will be a bit overbearing, and a partner will need to work around that and establish some boundaries. Some partners will be overbearing and will need to step back a bit and remember that this person was the center of the guys life for years, and that will always be there. It can sometimes be tricky to find that equilibrium, but you will have to find it.

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    • What about people who never plan on getting msrried should the guys mother always come first just because there is no legal document? I think a guy shouldn't let his mom interfere with his relationships as s grown man that is not her business to get involved with once he is an adult unless there is obvious signs of abuse going on and a true man would stand up for his girl and not let his mother be too involved with his life and telling him what to do as a grown man. What boundaries are you referring to when you say that the fiancé has to have their boundaries too? It just doesn't make much sense to me when they are about to marry that person.

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    • Im sorry I respect your opinion but I have to disagree there are a lot of cases where the mothers advice giving is out of selfish motive for example she doesn't like the fiance/wife so she twists the advice to make her son she his girl in a negative light or she doesn't want him to grow up so she tries to keep him young.

    • Well, my partner in general takes priority over my mother. But the likelihood of a mother's advice, in general, being selfish is less than the likelihood of a girl's advice being selfish. Of course there will be some mother's that have a hard time letting go. But there are a lot of cases where a mother doesn't like a girl because the girl simply isn't a very nice girl. The guy may love her, but there are a lot of shitty girls out there, and a lot of them end up married. So all of those mothers, if they advise against the girl, have a point.

      Guys get dicked around by women more often than they get dicked around by their mothers. So it's a probability game.

      And yes, you are right that SOME mothers give bad advice, or don't want their son to grow up. Some mothers are just shitty people, just like some girlfriends are shitty people, and some wives are shitty people.

      That's why every guy is going to have to find an equilibrium that works for him. Every situation is unique.

What Guys Said 8

  • The strongest unbreakable bond has to be between guy and his girl. That is so that children have the most safe secure and loving home in which to grow up.

    Sure, a guy's mom gave him life and loved him first but she must become less important so that her grandchildren can have an optimal home.

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  • You always hear about daddy's girl and how mother daughter relationships are. But there is one thing you never mess with. Thats a mom and her son. Always something even more special there in my opinion. Eventually once the fiance is the wife and they have their life rolling things will become about those two but till then its the 'don't mess with mamma's baby boy' situation.

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    • I think a daddys girl is the same level of imlortamce. What is it about a mom and a son that is different? If a grown man is that attached to his mother that he can't start putting the women he plans on marrying and spending the rest of his life with first then the guy clearly has attachment issues and it isn't somebody I would be compatible with in the long run anyways. I respect a guy who is close with and loves his mom but a mommas boy who can't cut the apron strings is not attractive to me.

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    • Well you just asked why and i answered. Should give more details if you need a more detailed response. As far as a dad and his girl, yea its there but there is something about a mom and her son. As far as fiance and mom situation while yes he should start putting the fiance ahead of the mom slowly until the knot is actually tied and its husband and wife not fiances then nothing is official yet. The parent's opinions will always be there and be of value it just takes time. Its like when girls ask why a guy will often times choose sporting events or games over going with their girls sometimes. Its just that we've known them longer (parents / games / sports is all.) Takes time.

    • By never mess with i mean for example, If a teacher starts to throw the insults / accusations at children usually the father will never stick up for the son or daughter they will tell the daughter to do better or son to suck it up / get his act together. Same for the mother to the daughter. But if that son insists on having done nothing wrong and the mom gets word of that the teacher will surely get an ear full from that Mother.

  • Both are equal as long as there is no abuse. Obviously wife becomes more important, but yer mom squeezed ya out. No disrespect shall be tolerated.

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    • I am the op I would say fiancé because you are supposed to leave and cl leave and start a life with them. Your fiances opinion should hold a much higher weight than your mkms because she is the one who you are going to me living with and making life choices with and possibly having kids with. That's just my opinion though

    • Of course, for certain things, but both women should be equally important in your life. They both deserve respect/love.

  • They should be on equal ground.

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  • His mother. The woman who gave me life will never be below any other women in my life, ever.

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    • True but his fiance/wife can give him a child and a mother can't do that for you. Healthy adults grow up and start putting the one they are going to spend the rest of their life with first. If a guy isn't willing to put me first after he proposes then he isn't the one for me

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    • My close friends are LIKE family to me, but they aren't family. As I said, they are an addition to what has always been there.

      No need to feel bad for me, but thanks for the sympathy.

    • I respect your stance on this, I just can't see myself putting anyone above my family.

      They are literally everything to me.

  • Fiancé of course.

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  • Only pizza.

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  • Both because he wouldn't be there without mommy and fiance might be his children's mommy

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What Girls Said 1

  • They should both be equally important to a man. Besides, the way a man treats his mother is usually indicative of how he will treat his woman. If he doesn't treat his mom right (unless she abused him or another horrendous act), then he has little to no chance with me.

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    • Treating them equally sounds good. But what if your wife want's to adopt a child and your mom insists she get pregnant and bear a child. Who wins THAT battle?

      Some guys mothers aren't particularly reasonable people.

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    • If the guy has any common sense it would be his wife. She will be the mother of his child and she is the one who has to carry the child not his mother. That answer I thought was obvious

    • Yeah and not just a husband and wife's business but the business between a serious bf/gf as grown adults

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