Should I tell my GF if she goes out without me that we are through?

My GF of 3 months told me a couple days ago she wants to go to the bars with her friends before college ends in a few weeks. I told her she can do what she wants to do but the more I think about it the more I regret saying that. It's a known fact that the bar scene is for getting drunk and meeting new people which usually turns into hooking up. While I trust my GF we all know that alcohol affects your decision making and given enough alcohol and a persistent guy she may cheat on me. Since meeting we have always gone to the bar together and for her to all of a sudden say she wants to go with her friends only screams trouble to me. I don't want to be controlling and give ultimatums that if she does something we are through but I don't understand if you're in a relationship why you would want to go out to the bars without your sig other and more over why you would want to even risk something happening!!! Am I off base here? Since I already told her to do what she wants to I just play it off or call her out on it?

Updates:
y'all can go fuck yourselves she's my GF and Im gona tell er what to do

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Uh, yeah, you're WAY off base!!!

    Why does she want to go out to a bar with her friends without you? Because having some fun with your friends is a normal thing for any person to want.

    Even when I was single, I certainly didn't go to bars for the sole purpose of getting drunk and hooking up... I went to bars to have fun with my friends, dance a little, play some pool or darts, and just have a good time. Literally, NOTHING about my bar behaviour has changed since I've gotten into a relationship, except that if a cute guy does happen to hit on me, I'll tell him I have a BF instead of engaging him in a flirty conversation.

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    • But if your in a relationship with a guy that you really like why wouldn't you want to be having all this fun with him?

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    • I guess what bothers me here is the risk she is taking without really showing that she cares. Going out to a bar, party or club where there is alcohol and temptation (in this case guys) you are taking a risk of making a bad decision. It's like putting a steak in front of a well trained dog, telling him to leave it and walk away... sure at first it stays away but give him enough time away from the owner the dog will eat the steak. Again, just feel it's an unnecessary risk to be taking with someone your supposed to care about.

    • "It's like putting a steak in front of a well trained dog"
      "enough time away from the owner the dog will eat the steak"

      WOOOOOOWWWWWW... Just... wow. If this is how you view it, then maybe you should break up because you are obviously not capable of being in a mature, trusting relationship. Your girlfriend isn't a fucking dog, and you're not her fucking owner.

      Remaining faithful isn't a matter of avoiding temptations - it's a matter of respecting your relationship. Assuming that she respects the relationship, she's not going to cheat, end of story. If she doesn't respect the relationship, she's gonna cheat whether she goes out to bars with her friends or not. Going to a bar doesn't suddenly turn a good girlfriend into a cheating scumbag...

What Girls Said 5

  • You're way off base. She just wants to spend some time with her friends without you. Clubs aren't just for hooking up, especially for girls. We like to go, have a drink, have a catch up and do lots of dancing. I very much doubt she'll get so drunk she won't be able to turn down unwanted advances. Let her have her own space and some gun without thinking the worst of her.

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    • Catch up on dancing with other dudes? I can only imagine if she were to catch me dancing with other girls.

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    • Holy shit. You are the clingiest guy I've ever known. Dude seriously, just back off a little. Trust her enough to know that she is not going to jeopardize your relationship in any way.

    • She's not disrespecting you by getting drunk. Seriously. If you can't trust her to go out and have a drink... Your relationship isn't going to make the long haul. Wanting a life outside of a realtionship doesn't mean she doesn't care about the relationship, just that, you know, she has her own friends. I bet you watch football with friends and have a beer, or something along the same lines. It's the exact same thing.

  • She should just go and leave your lame controlling ass behind. You want her to sit at home, have no social life, and be boring because you're afraid she might meet another guy? You might as well tell her to quit her job because most affairs start at work... you have a better chance losing her to the office lothario than you do some guy at a bar and that's real.

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    • I told her to go so I'm not controlling her. I just feel that you get in a relationship with someone because you want to be with that person as much as possible. Her going to the bar tells me she basically wants a hall pass or at least it shows she doesn't respect the relationship.

  • Holy shit, are you serious? When I read your post, I though you must be like 18 or so, but you are in your late 20s? Grow up! Your idea of what girls do when they go to bars with their friends is wayyy off. Your GF has a right to have a life outside of just being your GF. She has a right to have fun without you. That doesn't mean she doesn't enjoy spending time with you. But clinging to each other 24/7 will kill every relationship.

    You
    may think because you told her to go that means you are not controlling, but your thoughts show that you clearly are. She seems like a perfectly normal girl, and if I were her, I would dump you clingy ass before you totally ruin my social life.

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    • Hahahaha I thought the same thing.

    • hahaha I love his update :-D This guy has some serious mental illness going on. Let's just hope his girlfriend realized that sooner rather than later.

  • Obviously you have trust issues

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  • You're too controlling. She's better off without you

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    • Too controlling? I told her to go. In a relationship you should always keep your sig other in mind and wonder what he/she would think if you did this or that. If you want freedom to do whatever you want then don't be in a relationship.

What Guys Said 4

  • Pretty obvious you have trust issues. Sometimes I just want to hang out with my friends, and if a girl is not okay with that then we are through. It works the same way for her, I have no right to tell her not to hang out with her friends.

    Now if she kept canceling on you to hang out with them, then yeah you should say something, but that isn't the case. She needs her space, if you suffocate her too much she will either cheat on you or leave you.

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  • Yes, tell her that you'll break up with her if she goes out with her friends.

    That way, she'll do the breaking up for you.

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  • You obviously don't trust her enough even though you said that you do. Her friends are also there, in which they would stop her if she's doing something wrong specially knowing that she's in a committed relationship. If not, then they are not really her friends at all, now is she?

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    • Her friends are all single and bar rats. When someone in my group of guy friends had a GF we hated him... because they were hard to get to come out with us which made us hate his GF which in turn made us try to get him to cheat on her when he did finally come out with us. So being friends has nothin to do with it... comes squarely down to the person in the relationship choosing to put themselves in a bad situation or situation with risk

    • That's you and your friends. Not everyone thinks the same way you and your friends do. If you only think that your Gf would cheat on you by going on a bar or a club, then she's better off without you. I love to spend as much time as possible with the person I am currently dating, but when she wants to spend time with her friends and want to go to clubs or bars, I let her because I don't ever think that way, that she will cheat; I trust her completely You are basically just way too clingy, some offence,

  • no dont teeeel

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