She says she is a feminist but wants chivalry?

Women seem to be more hypocritical then ever. The other day I was out on a date with a feminist. I assume she wanted to split the bill because she was a feminist. I assume that she would not hold me to the old standards of chivalry. Chivalry comes from sexist roots and puts an unfair expectation on men. It reinforces the ideology that only "GENTLEMEN" or in other words "REAL MEN" pay for dates, open doors, and pull out women's chairs. So i split the bill on the first date and she clearly looked offended. I asked her about it and we got into an argument of what is expected of men these days and I called her a sexist hypocrite and told her that I was no longer interested. Was I right in my assumption? The say chivalry is common courtsey but HISTORICALLY, it is the expectation for men to be courteous. If both women and men can be chivalrous then with that logic we should split the bill. I found it enourmously hypocritical that this womens supports equality but then puts boundaries on the men she dates. Was I right, from the perspective of equality? Are women getting more hypocritical?

Updates:
I love how no women respond, it makes me thing more women are becoming more hypocrtical
For the women on here, don;t feel afraid to respond. I am not here to argue. I want honest opinions. I can't promise anything for the rest of these men, however.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Women don't know what they want. They want equality and equal wages but then they want men to do the heavy work, like paying the bills and shit. We are just as confused as you are. And yes, you had every right to do what you did. Serves her right for spouting her feminist crap and not even back it up. I do not consider myself a feminist but even I go dutch on the first date! Sheesh!

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What Girls Said 9

  • You're right. Sure it's nice for a guy to pay for your dinner sometimes and do things like holding the door open and such, but that should work both ways. No reason why bills shouldn't be split halfway between the two in a relationship. I mean, sure I enjoy when my boyfriend pays it in whole, but too much of that makes me uncomfortable. Do women realize that a lot of this 'chivalrous' shit comes from back in the day when women were completely dependent on men to help make ends meet?

    As for the stuff like holding the door open, I like to extend such courtesies to everyone, whether it be my boyfriend, another guy or whoever walks in after me.

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  • In my personal opinion, it would probably have been nice to ask her before the date if it's alright to split the bill. I personally believe you are both in the wrong for not communicating before the date. I feel you should have talked it out first instead of assuming and going ahead with it. To me, that's just not common courtesy and being rude.
    Every female, honestly, expects the guy to pay on the first date regardless and then see where things go from there. However, as stated before, communication is key.

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    • Thank you for sharing your opinion

  • She can call herself a feminist all she wants but if she expects chivalry, she isn't. She's jsut a hypocrit. I am a feminist. I expect respect from men (and give it in return). I don;t expect chivalry. I always splits bills. With my ex he'd try and insist on paying. I thought it was a nice gesture by him but I certainly didn't expect it. In addition, it did make me feel slightly uncomfortable. I liked him, so I agreed to spend time with them. That's the basic premise of a date to me anyway. If don;t want someone paying for me, because sometimes they think it gives them a sense of entitlement. In the end with my ex, it go to the stage, if he got the cinema tickets, I paid for dinner, that type of thing. You were right to call BS on her feminist claims. (just please don;t tar us all with the same brush from this one experience - some of us actually do practice what we preach) Hope you have better luck with the next girl :-)

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  • Never date a woman who feels the need to tell you she's a feminist.

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    • She'll baby-trap you, steal half your shit, and then claim she's a strong independant woman who doesn't need a man to support her.
      A smart man will rather come down with the plague, than hook up with a proclaimed feminist.

  • I am not a feminist but believe relationships need to be 50/50 to work. It's nice when a guy opens the door for me or offers me his jacket when I'm cold makes me feel he cares. But equally I'd hold the door open for someone behind me. Also I'd expect to pay for half of dinner but it feels like a treat if he offers to pay the bill but then I'd make a point of paying for the taxi or for the next meal.

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  • she is a dumb bitch

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  • LOL @ expecting women to answer within 5 minutes.

    I agree with you.

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    • Last time I posted something anonymously, posts came in EXTREMELY fast.

  • I'm going to add on to what evenlift said. feminisim isn't about eveeeerything being equal. Men have some advantages over women and women have some advantages over men.

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  • This seems like a made up story to me, but good for you for not letting people walk all over you.

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    • sadly, it is true. So many women I date expect chivalry and advocate for feminism

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    • I will remember that

    • Good. And good luck.

What Guys Said 11

  • Feminism is not about equality.

    Feminism is traditionalism minus any advantages for men, plus more advantages for women.

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  • Well, technically, if we use absolute equality in every single aspect of life, then yeah, you shouldn't have to open the door for her, give your coat or pay the whole bill, since you're both equal.
    And I support equality, but I still like to act chivalrous, I don't know, it's how I was raised, and how I like to be.
    So I would keep being chivalrous, but it is true that those who demand absolute equality in every life's aspect, shouldn't be expecting chivalry, because TECHNICALLY it goes against their beliefs.

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  • NEVER hook up with a dedicated feminist.
    She'll spend the rest of her life blaming you (and everyone else) for her own failures and shortcomings.

    It has been decades since feminism had anything to do with equality.
    I'm all for equal opportunities, but what you do with them is up to the individual.
    While I support equality as much as the next guy, feminism is just a vile political movement relying heavily on theft through taxation, false accusations, fallacy arguments, and pushing blame for making poor choices.

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  • You've hit the nail on the head there. It absolutely is hypocrisy and more and more men are realizing it.

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    • Women are wired to seek mates who provide for them, just like men are wired to seek mates who are sexy.
      If women can no longer seek providers, then men should no longer seek sexy women.

  • You are 100% right and she is a hypocrite. you did the right thing ditching her.

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    • would the person who downvoted me like to elaborate why?

    • i don't think women are becoming more hypocritical. you just encountered the wrong kind of feminist.

  • O lord, sometimes I wonder if these feminists realize the shit they say don't match up with the things they do. The hypocrisy makes me want to pull my hair out

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  • You mistake was to presume to lecture her. Think of women as children. You wouldn't spend an hour of your time arguing with a child about why it's good to eat vegetables would you?

    Next time a girl you're on a date with a feminist and it's time to pay, offer to cover the bill. She'll of course accept your generous offer. Then say, "Ok, but I don't want to hear any gripes about equal pay for equal work from you later, ok?" and wink. ;)

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  • You can't be a feminist and want chivalry, historically speaking if someone is chivalrous they are knight of a kingdom and believe it is their duty to protect women

    Just look at any medieval programme and you'll see what i'm on about

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  • you should probably have told her to pull her head out of her ass.

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  • Yeah, brother, they say a lot of things! Just a lot of things!

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  • She should open doors for you

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