Why does he want me more when i'm distant, mad at him or when I ignore him?

We've been dating for 9 months. He's pretty much my bf becuse we see eachother pretty much every week and he initiates contact with me everyday and we're not seeing other people but we still haven't made out relationship official. He has issues with being in committed relationship, he told me he is scared of being in a relationship because of bad experiences in his past. Sometimes when i invite him to hangout with me, he bails on hanging out and i get really mad so i distance, usually ignore and that's when he wants me most and then actually asks me to hangout with him. I don't get it, why is he doing this? When i ask to hangout he bails but when i ignore him, distance, he asks to see me and keeps conntacting me... why does he do this? It's so frustrating!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • trauma can cause a lot of weird behaviour.. i would guess he really likes you but is just scared to go over a certain threshhold.. and the thing is when you are close to loose someone you love then you get kinda desperate so i would guess he's just very... VERY unsure what to do and how to feel but at the same time does not want to loose you..
    my advice is just try to talk to him about this in a serious but nice setting, the best thing would be doing it personally

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    • Thanks for your answer! What do you mean by going over a certain threshold? Taking the relationship further and getting closer?

    • something like that... youd have to ask him though specifically what that threshhoild is...

What Guys Said 1

  • He needs to see a relationship therapist. You need to tell him that his attitude towards you is unhealthy and not what you want. He needs to let go of his fear, and face his insecurities. A therapist can help with that.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Because he doesn't have any self respect. And you are a colossal bitch.

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  • you should ask him those same questions.

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