I can't stop thinking about him. What should I do?

I had an argument with a guy, who I really liked. It was really a misunderstanding as both our views clashed. We had a lot to drink and we disagreed on a few things. He kept telling me that I was wrong, which angered me and made me say a few things (generalisations etc)

Anyway, I didn't hear from him after I met him. I decided to reach out to him 2 days later and said thanks for the date. He replied back and said it was fun. I sent him a happy birthday text 2 weeks later but got no reply.

I then heard from a mutual friend, that he had made up rumours about me and said a bunch of things about me. I even saw that he had statuses on fb on how I had wronged him, how I was wrong etc.

I haven't been able to sleep properly for the past few days now because I'm so sad about how things ended between us and because I keep thinking about him. I really liked him but on our date he kept arguing with me, because I had different views. I just keep thinking about him all the time now..

What should I do? He doesn't reply to my text messages, even the bday one. Should I leave him alone and move on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you need to apologize about your behavior. But, I think he needs to as well. However, don't go fishing for apologies, because it makes your apology seem insincere. So, go to him and apologize honestly. No but's, no explanations, no rationalizations. Just apologize and tell him how you felt doing that, and that you had to apologize to him, and then wait for a response. If it is anger, just listen to his pain. It may be difficult, but be empathetic about it. Then tell him that you now understand that he feels like (repeat what he just said) and then say that you would feel the same way. That is why it was wrong and that you needed to correct it. A lot of times people will calm down and realize that you are trying to make it right, and then that unblinds them too and then they will see that they did wrong as well. If he doesn't apologize then, don't get angry, let it go. You both were drunk, so it shouldn't be too big of a deal.

    Just a word of warning: if this guy is continuously bitter when someone wrongs him, then it would be a difficult relationship if you have to go through this, so keep that in mind.

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    • I tried reaching out to him several times already. I sent him a happy birthday text yesterday, but got no response. He then went to a friend and said a lot of things about me. I would have prefered if he had come to me directly, but he didn't. I don't want to continue contacting someone if they don't want to talk to me. Besides, our argument stemmed due to the topic of sex. He thought I was going to sleep with him on the first date or at least gave me that impression. When I told him I didn't believe in sex before marriage, he told me I was wrong and began arguing with me..

    • I don't either, but I did have sex with my girlfriend, and now we are married. I wished we didn't. Things would have been different, so I agree with you on the topic, and I understand getting mad about him wanting to have sex with you on the first date. That is why alcohol is bad as well, because it impairs your judgment.

      Now that you said that, it seems that he has a lot to apologize for as well. I would try one more time, writing him a letter, saying that you need to talk about that night and set things straight with you because it has been on your mind a lot. If he accepts the invitation, then I would proceed with the advice I gave you. If not, then feel free to not worry about it, because you did all you could to redeem yourself.

What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm going through the same thing u r trust me I think just leave it alone or keep trying if u really care

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    • I do care, but the person isn't responding to me anymore. So there really isn't a point in reaching out to him again. Besides, I don't really think I should apologise for something which I feel is right

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    • Thanks for your answer. I think you are right..

    • Trust me I'm going through the same thing kinda except I don't have the balls like u to text him bc I'm the one who ruined things

  • Don't worry about it. Move on. He is inmature.

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