What can I do to make guys notice my personality and fall for me for who I am instead of my looks?

I don't want to sound vain but I am a very attractive girl both body and face wise, I get hit on all the time wherever I go and I get a lot of attention from guys, to the point that even my friends boyfriends ask for my number and flirt with me in front of them. I hate it because it causes so much tension with my friends and they don't like to bring me anywhere near their boyfriends or their crushes, even though I don't flirt back with them because I respect my friends. They also don't like going out with me to the club because I get too much attention.
And its not just friendship problems, I can't find a guy that takes me serious cause Im "hot", Im not cute, or beautiful. Im usually the girl most guys would "just fuck", not date. They end up not giving two shits about my personality. And I know most of these guys are jerks and players because they are the ones with enough confidence to approach me.
Whenever I talk to any normal guy they get too nervous and intimidated. Sometimes even they end up turning into jerks because Im not "dating material". And when I seem to find a good guy, their friends end up pushing him to "hit dat".
It was a time I was fine with it all because I felt beautiful and it was a major confidence boost but now its a nuisance because every time I talk to a guy, all they wanna do is fuck. I try to avoid the subject of sex as much as I can but they all bring it up.
I don't know what to do, its not that I dress a way that exposes my body. Whether it cover myself up or not doesn't seem to make any difference at all. Makeup or not doesn't make a difference. I do work out because its a hobby of mine, but I don't want to stop working out and lose my body that I've worked for.
How do I find serious guys that won't fall for me in lust but love? Im sick of ending up with people who just lust over me, and care of nothing else but my appearance. What can I do to make guys notice my personality and fall for me for who I am? Im sick of being used :/


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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you want people to notice your other qualities you need to put yourself in situations where people *can* notice them. Nobody goes to a bar, party, club, etc. to find a smart girl to date. Unless it's Trivia Night at the bar, in which case you can dazzle the guys present with your knowledge.

    Anyhow, you're always going to have to weed through guys who just want to have sex with you. That's not exclusive to you because you happen to be exceptionally hot. Virtually every above-average-looking girl on the planet has to deal with guys who couldn't give a shit about who they are as a person. That you don't see your friends going through it is because you happen to be the one drawing the attention, but when you're not there they are dealing with the same thing.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Hello,

    First of all, I noticed that you seem positive, and that is an excellent thing ; you do not loose hope and you still love yourself ; you do not say dumb things like what's wrong with me.
    This is a good attitude, and I do think you should keep it. Looking weak will just attract manipulators who will try to take advantage of you.

    But now, what are you going to do? Well you should understand that as sad that it may sound, the first thing a guy is going to notice about you is your looks ; not your personality. It will come later on, pretty fast most of the time. We more or less directly know if a girl's personality looks interesting / awesome.
    You shouldn't try to change your behavior, like looking for things to do to make guys notice your personality. We're not that dumb, we may be interested by your great looks, but a hot boring girl will not attract me for long you know.

    Stay true to yourself, don't loose hope and stay positive.
    Hope you have a great day!

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  • Looks like you'll have to do the hunting... lol most girls I don't directly know ignore me for this exact reason, they think I'm taken, and every guy that doesn't know me well seems to think I must have at least 7 girlfriends (I found out when I overheard some guys talking about me)

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  • Okay, i have a practical advice.

    To weed out guys that just want to 'hit that', use the 'i only have sex after the third date' thing. And after your 2nd date try your best to avoid the 3rd date as long as you can (going out for coffee isn't a date). If they keep pushing for it, it's quite obvious what they want.

    Some guys take their time though.

    But if you must i suggest you to take my other advice: Date me! ;)

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  • Wear less makeup.

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What Girls Said 2

  • All I can say is continue being who you are and yet tell those guys that there is more to you than a beautiful face.

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  • Don't worry. I'll tell you you're not good looking if that helps.

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