Does this sound nuts to you?

My bfs mom said she should always come first before me. He is 28 and we have been together for 4 years and soon I'm going to move in with him. If we are starting our lices together why would she say that? Does she sound crazy to you? In what ways should she come first? Or do you disagree with her?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • its up to your boyfriend, every mother is going to think like that.

    when the girlfriend becomes the wife though, the man should always choose his wife over his mother.

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    • I think even if they are not married if a guys has been with the girl a while which my bf has then when he is making major life decisions the gf should get the nod because those decisions are going to effect her more because they are looking to live together and start s life together. I don't think you need to be married to come first. Some people never get married

    • if that becomes the scenario then yeah I agree too.

    • Even if we Dont live together though I think once. someone is in a serious relationship it is natural to put them first

What Guys Said 4

  • It sounds crazy but I think a lot of mothers would act like that.
    She sees it as you taking her baby from her lol

    As long as your boyfriend knows his priorities, it shouldn't be a problem.

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    • Yeah its one thing to think it but to voice it makes you sounds nuts lol

    • Was she joking when she said it to him... without the tone it's hard to tell lol

  • Seeing as you're taken her seriously, i'd say you're the crazy one.

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    • Nope imagine if I said I'm his gf I should always come first before his mother I would be dragged through the coals on here.

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    • Trust me I thought she was kidding too and later on my bf said she wasn't and obviously he would know better than me

    • This gf vs mom thing comes up all the time here. Answer is the same, up to your bf really.

      If after several years of dating the mom's saying stuff like that, then it's needed to read between the lines. 'mom comes first' = 'this girl is not good enough'.

  • no... Thats his mother. You've been with him for 4 years. She's been with him for 28 and she gave him life...

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    • But to say it out loud sounds crazy. Once a man grows up it is natural that his main priorities will shift and he will begin to make decisions based on how it is going to effect the women he will be with the rest of his life. That's part of being a healthy adult in an adult relationship. That doesn't mean that he loves his mom any less but that she takes on a different role. Just because she has known him longer doesn't mean anything it is quality over quantity. Are she gave him life but his girl can provide him with his own child and there is no greater gift than that. Besides for his mother to say I should always come first before the girl you plan on having kids with and spending the rest of your life with sounds crazy and like you can't cut the apron strings. His mom needs to back off a bit.

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    • What if you been with your gf for years and years where she always play second fiddle to your mom

    • Listen I agree with you. Some people see marriage as the way into the family and therefore the only route to be treated as a family member. I'm not defending her I'm just saying that's how some people think. A scenario in which one might put their mother before their girlfriend (no matter how serious) may be something as small as valuing her opinion more than his girlfriends. Or it could be a much bigger and more serious situation. But if you're having trouble coming up with situations where he has to put one of you two in front of the other than I would not worry so much. If you can't think of a situation you probably will never encounter one

  • Tell her to fuck off

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What Girls Said 1

  • Its his mom , he will always need a mothers guidance make sure that she was just joking or that she likes you and doesn't make you feel uncomfortable ; its you two dating not them make sure you know where you stand if she carries on with her negative attitude speak to him about it

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    • Yeah I definitely told him nicely that I thought that made her sound weird that she actually said that out loud. She should be happy for him that he found a nice girl that he loves so much and treats him right

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