Have I been conditioned to think this way?

This is in regards to my interactions with women. I've had one official girlfriend that I've gone all the way with (that lasted about 4 months, and we didn't do it 'til month 3 when I finally brought it up) and have only gone to third base with one other girl (that lasted 2 weeks, on vacation, many years ago). I've now been single (but in a failing dating stage) for 6 years.

These days, I don't know what's wrong with me, but whenever I do date someone, I'm completely mental blocked to push for anything sexual at all. Subconciosuly I believe I'm going to offend people if I try to touch them a certain way (even if she's cuddling/spooing with me with I'm.. pretty sure... is an invitiation for more?)

I've screwed up a few relationships now where I either didn't esclate to touching, or if I did, nothing sexual. I don't understand what's stopping me, I want to, I'm usually pretty sure it will help move things along, but I have this insane mental block, imagining that I'm going to offend, or piss her off, or get called a perv (even though we're in private together).

Have I been mentally coniditioned to treat women with too much respect or something? I don't get it, and I don't know how to get over it, it's really put a hamper on my dating life. I'm an attractive guy I've been told and also that I'm funny by many people (randomly) but I just, can't, escalate. Why? Please don't say just get over it, it won't help. I'm a very confident person in my life and in my work, I'm always smiling and can put a smile on anyone's face, no matter how grumpy, but I am a dating failure it would seem.

Any opinions are much apprecatiated.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I've been in your situation. I have a bad experience with one woman, so I try to "correct" my behavior with other women, and they end up frustrated because I'm not making the moves they want me to make. All I can really tell you is that when it feels like you have a connection, start doing a little more, then a little more, etc. She'll stop you when/if she's ready to hit the brakes.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I'm having this problem with my guy now, I'll give him all the signs, kiss on him. Cuddle with him, and rub him but he won't go any further. It is very frustrating, I must say. He is super shy though, hopefully one day he'll loosen up.

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What Guys Said 2

  • seems that you are a natural nice guy.

    In this dating game that only benefits the females, woman don't want nice. They want jerks with money who are a-holes.

    Females want men that will just do it and shows dominance. If you play the shy card, then that will turn the females off.

    https://youtu.be/R99zTrMy7GA

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  • Check out Kezia Noble's videos on YouTube. They're priceless for showing you how to escalate without getting hung up or embarrassed. Remember, when a girl gets closer to you, especially if she's cuddling, she wants and expects you to go to the next level. Good luck.

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