Do they bother you? Could you date one?
- No, probably notVote A
- I don't see why notVote B
- Maybe, It dependsVote C
Do they bother you? Could you date one?
Probably not, because I was smart enough to think with the right head and have no kids, I deserve someone who did the same. I personally see single moms with kids as baggage (not just biological baggage but emotional baggage because of deadbeat fathers).
That might reign down on me if I get with them, it's a high probability. It's also someone else's kid that I have to deal with. If I'm going to get in a relationship with a woman, I want absolutely no distractions, especially kids. I don't see why single moms look for single guys with no kids over single fathers anyways, why can't they date their own kind?
They always imply proudly: "Well if you want me, you have to accept my kids too." Too much pride in that, it's almost feminist in nature. Well, what if I want you and only you, but I don't want to babysit your kids? Then it ain't gonna work.
Besides, a woman with ONE kid might be forgivable, but a woman with 3 different kids by three different guys isn't the brightest tool in the shed, and getting in a relationship her is just jumping into some bad karma. I know a girl that has two boys by two different dads and she was never married to neither, one was a nigh club fling, the other she was engaged to because he got her pregnant.
She takes bipolar medication because she's THAT psycho. She's super hot, but she's also super crazy. Be careful if you do choose to get with single moms, if they seem too nice to be true, something may be stirring in the karma winds for you.
I almost married a woman with three daughters. Serious scars from the relationship but it taught me a lot.
I would say that I could do it again at this stage of my life but with some caveats:
-The biological father has to be completely absent from the picture. No cards, updates, input, or even child-support. Gone.
-I'm not having a two-tier family. There are no special rules with "her" children vs. "our" children. (That being said, I'm probably not handling things like bath time or diapers for children I haven't sired. That's just weird to me.)
-Because of the above, I'd prefer the children be very young as I would want to raise them into being my own. Touch is my love language and I refuse to be in a relationship where I'm forced to be distant. Assuming it reaches that level of comfortt, if hugs and/or forehead kisses result in me being treated like a pedophile, I'm out.
-I'd only want a woman who wants to pursue family instead of a career. This is the case whether or not a woman has children already, but it has the added benefit of peace-of-mind for her in this case. Because, let's be realistic, there's always going to be "that" question. There's little room for those thoughts to creep in if she's present.
None of these were the case in the relationship. I was stuck as an outsider and there was no way I was going to force my way in. Experience has definitely taught me the importance of discussing boundaries and expectations up front in a relationship.
When I was a single father (divorced w/custody of my son), I dated and married a single mother (divorced w/custody of her 2 daughters).
Yes if she and I saw there could be chemistry. I see no problem with it
I could, but two conditions
1) Not right now, just graduating college and I want to eliminate a lot of my debt before I do that
2) I want her to be willing to have a kid of our own with me. I have no problem with being her kids step dad, but I've always wanted a son and daughter, both calling me dad. It's for sentimental reasons lol
I would love too, but if she has a toddler I try to avoid them, don't want the child to gt super attached to me and then leave
It would depend I think but it's not outside the realm of possibility.
No, just sex. I want my own kids someday, so I couldn't date someone with the knowledge that it isn't going to work out in the end.
First of all, I know I'd always run a distant second to her child. That's a given. Who wants to enter a relationship in which they're fighting for scraps from day one. Second, even if things progress well, you have an instant family from day one, and the child isn't even yours. And when the child isn't yours, that's a touchy situation. I've been the kid in that situation, and I must say it really sucks. That's the main reason I wouldn't get involved.
That said, all hope is not lost, not by a long shot. Your best bet are single fathers, guys who will inherently understand your situation. They'll also share your prioritization of your child, and he'll understand that he'll be your #2 just like you'll be his #2.
If she'd be willing to have more kids sure.
Probably not. I mean, if she's hot I'd wanna bang her but beyond that, eh.
Definetly not right now. I'm only 20. Want kids eventually, but not anytime soon, (an dif there was a 20 year old single mom, I almost certainly wouldn't date her because she seems to make very poor life decisions).
The main reason I wouldn't when I was older would be that I don't want to have to deal with the a$$hole father of her kid (s). It's not a complete deal breaker, but it doesn't help. If I was in my late 30's, I probably wouldn't care if she was a single mom. But anytime before that, I want to have a beautiful relationship with the woman, not the mom. If she's a parent, you skip that awesome romance, free, wild time before you have kids. I don't want to miss that.
It depends. Right now, no. I can't deal with that at the moment since I don't know where I'll be in one year, plus, I don't even have a job.
In the future, when I'm more stable, yeah, I wouldn't mind.
Yeah I could date one.
Not a fan of it
I don't know what to think about it, but I would be willing to give it a try. Honestly, I'm probably not in the best place at the moment to be dealing with a girl and a child mainly cause the child is an extra expense and I'm working on getting my career developed. Still like I said I wouldn't mind at least trying it.
I see no deal breaker dating a girl who has a child
but it is a package deal meaning the guys got to be
the type to accept both the girl with her child.
I dont see any problem in that tbh :)
Ehh... is kind of a turn off for me.
... would and have. Hard finding age appropriate women that don't have kids.
Depends on a ton of things, pretty case-by-case situation I think.
Ok only date. nothing else
Yep, I have no problems with single mums.
I could date one
You cannot undo this action. The opinion owner is going to be notified and earn 7 XPER points.