Guys, how do you feel about single moms? Would you date one?

Do they bother you? Could you date one?

  • I don't see why not
    48% (34)
  • No, probably not
    32% (23)
  • Maybe, It depends
    20% (14)
And you are? I'm a GuyGirls can not vote on this poll
Updates:
Thank you guys for giving your opinions. Whether you could or couldn't, I'm just glad you're all being honest and know what you want.
I'm confused why some if you are saying you wouldn't because you want kids of your own someday. There isn't anything stopping you from having any with her. Especialy if she only has one.

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38

Most Helpful Guy

  • I married one. She had two kids when we started dating and now we have two of our own.

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    • Awesome! Thats great news.

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    • Oh and thanks for MH :)

    • Good advice!!:)

What Guys Said 37

  • Probably not, because I was smart enough to think with the right head and have no kids, I deserve someone who did the same. I personally see single moms with kids as baggage (not just biological baggage but emotional baggage because of deadbeat fathers).

    That might reign down on me if I get with them, it's a high probability. It's also someone else's kid that I have to deal with. If I'm going to get in a relationship with a woman, I want absolutely no distractions, especially kids. I don't see why single moms look for single guys with no kids over single fathers anyways, why can't they date their own kind?

    They always imply proudly: "Well if you want me, you have to accept my kids too." Too much pride in that, it's almost feminist in nature. Well, what if I want you and only you, but I don't want to babysit your kids? Then it ain't gonna work.

    Besides, a woman with ONE kid might be forgivable, but a woman with 3 different kids by three different guys isn't the brightest tool in the shed, and getting in a relationship her is just jumping into some bad karma. I know a girl that has two boys by two different dads and she was never married to neither, one was a nigh club fling, the other she was engaged to because he got her pregnant.

    She takes bipolar medication because she's THAT psycho. She's super hot, but she's also super crazy. Be careful if you do choose to get with single moms, if they seem too nice to be true, something may be stirring in the karma winds for you.

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    • I find this offensive. Ill tell you why. You act as if I got knocked up by a guy whom I didn't love or wasn't with very long which neither are true. I am very smart. I was using condoms and it happened to break. I was with the person for 3 years. And we get along still. We are both good people and decided we both grew apart. Not every divorce is ugly. And ofcourse a mother wants her guy to accept her children. You will never understand the love for a child untill you have one. I rather a mother want her man to accept her kids than to beat them and abuse them like many do. It doesn't mean she wants you to babysit them. Shit, i dont trust anyone to watch my child nor do I want someone else raising my child. Amd what do you mean own kind? We are all human and you talk of us like we are aliens or something.

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    • And you speak of all my so called "negative energy" I need to release. When I am simply sticking up for myself.

    • Single mothers will always be the second plate on the table for worthy sing men. Why should we settle? No way I'd EVER date a single mom again. Too much drama ! Too much risk for very little reward.

  • I almost married a woman with three daughters. Serious scars from the relationship but it taught me a lot.

    I would say that I could do it again at this stage of my life but with some caveats:

    -The biological father has to be completely absent from the picture. No cards, updates, input, or even child-support. Gone.

    -I'm not having a two-tier family. There are no special rules with "her" children vs. "our" children. (That being said, I'm probably not handling things like bath time or diapers for children I haven't sired. That's just weird to me.)

    -Because of the above, I'd prefer the children be very young as I would want to raise them into being my own. Touch is my love language and I refuse to be in a relationship where I'm forced to be distant. Assuming it reaches that level of comfortt, if hugs and/or forehead kisses result in me being treated like a pedophile, I'm out.

    -I'd only want a woman who wants to pursue family instead of a career. This is the case whether or not a woman has children already, but it has the added benefit of peace-of-mind for her in this case. Because, let's be realistic, there's always going to be "that" question. There's little room for those thoughts to creep in if she's present.

    None of these were the case in the relationship. I was stuck as an outsider and there was no way I was going to force my way in. Experience has definitely taught me the importance of discussing boundaries and expectations up front in a relationship.

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  • When I was a single father (divorced w/custody of my son), I dated and married a single mother (divorced w/custody of her 2 daughters).

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  • Yes if she and I saw there could be chemistry. I see no problem with it

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  • Sure I would and have its no big deal if she has children or not.
    It's not going to change who she is.

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  • I been there done that i would do it again I love kids and it feels good being with someone who feels the same

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    • Thats good to hear! Kids are awesome

    • Yup I had a great experience i know its tough balancing your kids life with your personal life. But single mothers are women too and it doesn't stop me from pursuing them.

  • I could, but two conditions

    1) Not right now, just graduating college and I want to eliminate a lot of my debt before I do that

    2) I want her to be willing to have a kid of our own with me. I have no problem with being her kids step dad, but I've always wanted a son and daughter, both calling me dad. It's for sentimental reasons lol

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    • Of course #2 would be when we're more than just dating

    • Getting your life together first! Very smart

    • People rush into marriages all the time. When you marry someone, you inherit all their resources, but also all their debts. That's why the divorce rate is at 50% in the US.

      People rush into these things

  • I would love too, but if she has a toddler I try to avoid them, don't want the child to gt super attached to me and then leave

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  • I've considered it. I would definitely need to find out what happened to the dad. That weighs heavily on my decision whether I would date a single mom.

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    • If that's why he's absent, then that's just pathetic. And I thought guys typically didn't like soap operas. I know I don't.

    • But I would like my own kids some day, whether with a single mom or not.

  • It would depend I think but it's not outside the realm of possibility.

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  • No, just sex. I want my own kids someday, so I couldn't date someone with the knowledge that it isn't going to work out in the end.

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  • Well my mother was one but I dont really remember. I have nothing against them if anything I give them props cause its not easy

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  • First of all, I know I'd always run a distant second to her child. That's a given. Who wants to enter a relationship in which they're fighting for scraps from day one. Second, even if things progress well, you have an instant family from day one, and the child isn't even yours. And when the child isn't yours, that's a touchy situation. I've been the kid in that situation, and I must say it really sucks. That's the main reason I wouldn't get involved.

    That said, all hope is not lost, not by a long shot. Your best bet are single fathers, guys who will inherently understand your situation. They'll also share your prioritization of your child, and he'll understand that he'll be your #2 just like you'll be his #2.

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  • If she'd be willing to have more kids sure.

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  • Absolutely, why not?

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    • Kind of lackluster,

      I don't see an issue, and I love kids. Plan on having some of my own one day (preferably in the long future, but, anything can change.).

  • Probably not. I mean, if she's hot I'd wanna bang her but beyond that, eh.

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  • Definetly not right now. I'm only 20. Want kids eventually, but not anytime soon, (an dif there was a 20 year old single mom, I almost certainly wouldn't date her because she seems to make very poor life decisions).

    The main reason I wouldn't when I was older would be that I don't want to have to deal with the a$$hole father of her kid (s). It's not a complete deal breaker, but it doesn't help. If I was in my late 30's, I probably wouldn't care if she was a single mom. But anytime before that, I want to have a beautiful relationship with the woman, not the mom. If she's a parent, you skip that awesome romance, free, wild time before you have kids. I don't want to miss that.

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    • Nothing you said made sense. Everyone makes poor life decisions. Have you made none? And having a child means no romance or wild time? Lol I must have missed that memo.

    • @asker

      Some bad decisions are bigger than others.

      And the wild time is certainly diminished. Hey honey, let's go on a trip! Right now! 'sorry, I have to pick up Charlie from soccer practice and then deliver him and Samantha to their father's'. Also, when they're in the house, you skip the romantic, only 2 people in the world feeling as you now have kids around. I love kids, I'll want kids, but just jumping in is not something I want, especially since I'm so young. Again, in my mid-late thirties, I probably won't mind so much since that'd be something I'd want at that time.

  • It depends. Right now, no. I can't deal with that at the moment since I don't know where I'll be in one year, plus, I don't even have a job.
    In the future, when I'm more stable, yeah, I wouldn't mind.

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  • Yeah I could date one.

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  • Not a fan of it

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  • I don't know what to think about it, but I would be willing to give it a try. Honestly, I'm probably not in the best place at the moment to be dealing with a girl and a child mainly cause the child is an extra expense and I'm working on getting my career developed. Still like I said I wouldn't mind at least trying it.

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    • Take it from me, don't go there. I did three times and it never ended well.
      You don't have to settle for a used and damaged single mom. in my opinion they all are damaged and used.

  • I see no deal breaker dating a girl who has a child
    but it is a package deal meaning the guys got to be
    the type to accept both the girl with her child.

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  • I dont see any problem in that tbh :)

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  • Don't want to deal with kids or have kids of my own, there's no long term future in a single mom.

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    • Sure there is. Being a single mom doesn't change her ability to be a good spouse or wife. But Since you dont like children I understand that for you it wouldn't be.

    • If you like used cars, loose pussy and stretch marks, That and when the ex come to get the kid he will always smile and think you're sucking his dick by proxy, which you are.

  • Ehh... is kind of a turn off for me.

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  • ... would and have. Hard finding age appropriate women that don't have kids.

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  • Depends on a ton of things, pretty case-by-case situation I think.

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  • Ok only date. nothing else

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  • Yep, I have no problems with single mums.

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  • I could date one

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