You ever feel like you're playing checkers with chess pieces?

When it comes to women and dating, I used to think it was simple. Then when the ideas I had didn't work I reviewed my strategy and adjusted. When that didn't work i sought advice from people who clould think much clearer than I. A decade or so later and I feel like I'm building a better and better mousetrap with levers, cogs and miniature cannons, jumping through hoops and meanwhile everyone else is viewing this as a leisure activity.

While I'm trying to make her laugh, maintain eye contact, keep open posture, not bite my nails, dress well, shave right, listen to the best music and be generally interesting, other guys are going about life, casually ending up at a bar or on a date and meeting ladies who are thrilled with thier company.

How could I have gone from one extreme to the other without once hitting that sweet spot? At some point I thought I would just be done and I could relax like normal guys... but no, never. It's exhausting, and I'm not sure I'm even going to enjoy a girlfriend if I get one. Eventually I wanna just be me.


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  • You are suffering from the outsider perspective, example freshman year of college Istarted to dress differently and my old high school mates thought I was doing great, to great easily. Just like them they saw the final product, me hanging with a different girl, walking pass campus only to be stopped by someone every so often.

    You guys didn't see the effort or time it took for me to do everything. Was it easy, yes, but this took sometime and effort.

    Remember you see the finally product not how it got there

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    • So do you consider all these things too? Does it work, are you sucessful with girls. A lot of the time women think I'm dick and stop talking to me because I'm thinking about so much I miss what they're saying. I'm not even really there with them at that point. How do you remember all of this stuff?

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    • So you seem like a regular dude. You studied PUA but you don't seem like you hate women or anything. Sounds like your trying to do what I'm trying to do, wade through all the rapey stuff and just get the natural things that spur attraction down packed. You do it kind if low stress then, guess it's less about remembering everything all at times. How much experience did you get. How frequently did you approach girls?

    • There that stimga, but just like you I only use what is actual worth learning, some skills they teach can be used in the real world not just with women.

      I have been at this for 3 years, I usually approach when I have time. Usually, on campus for simple things, I feel like every guy judges there results on getting a number, hookup, and datas.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Yo I didn't read any of the details of your question. But uh I like the analogy. Imma thief it real quick.

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