The safe guy or the guy I really like?

Okay so I'm kind of in a dilemma at the moment.

I've been going out with these 2 guys.

the first guy is cool. He's geeky but smart. He's funny. He makes me laugh a ton. He's very down to earth and really sweet and he's just gotten to be such a good friend beyond everything else. He's also very vocal about his feelings about me... he wants a relationship and he wants me to move in with him and he says he wants to take care of me.

its just the thing is for me with him... there's no fireworks. Like I like him but it's not anything intense or passionate.. more like fondness I guess?

Now guy number 2 I've been going out with even longer. He's so smart and so my type. He's handsome and professional and also a reaaally great guy. Like just a great person with a great heart. But the thing is... he does vocalize his feelings for me but it seems less stable then with guy number 1.. like he isn't 100% ready for anything serious, tho sometimes he acts like he is. And he is reaaally busy a lot of the time.

its just... I like him soooo much. Like inside and out. Whenever I get a text and I see its him I get butterflies. When we hang out I can't stop smiling. Just being around him makes me feel happy and when he goes awol I get really down and sad about it.

anyway here's the problem... guy number 1 is kind of at like... the piss or get off the pot point. Like he's ready to move forward and he doesn't want us to see other people anymore and he wants to commit and I feel like... if I don't I'll lose him. And I'm kind of afraid to. But then if I do I'll lose guy number 2 and that's even scarier.

If you were in my shoes what would you do? End it with guy number 2 and commit to number 1 or end it with number 1 and hope number 2 gets his act together? Even if there's a risk he doesn't and you end up alone and have to start over with someone new (which terrifies me). Im just so done with casual dating and want long term


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well for 1, I wouldn't date two people at the same time to avoid this exact situation. How long have you been dating those guys because when the first guy asked you to move in with him so he could "take care of you" that kind of made a red flag pop up. Honestly I'd go with guy #2. You can't force yourself to have chemistry with a person. And you'd just end up thinking about guy 2 whenever you were with guy 1.

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    • I've been going out with guy number 1 since I guess December or January and number 2 since like September of last year

    • Yeah that's a bit soon to be saying crap about moving in together.

What Guys Said 3

  • Fireworks have a tendency to wear off. FWIW.

    Is there anything guy #1 could do that would get your pulse racing?

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    • I mean it's been kind of a slow build up with guy number 2. We've been going out a long time and I mean j always liked him but now it's like I reaaally like him.

      And I mean I don't know I guess that's the thing. He technically does everything right. But it's just not the same

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    • Maybe an explicit conversation (clear communication, as it were) with #2 could help. If he's the guy you'd rather settle down with, and all.

    • Hope this works out for you :)

  • The safe guy you will totally love!

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    • i don't know. I feel like I could love him eventually but not like be IN love with him per se. Not the way I could be with guy number 2 if he let me

    • Yeah, but that's young people bullshit; when you grow older (in a few short years) stable guy = win and hot passionate blowjob = annoying amount of effort

  • I'd choose boy number 2 if you are getting butterflies then I'd go with number 2

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What Girls Said 1

  • Woww that's a tough one... honestly I'll stay with guy number 2 cause he's the one that I'm attracted too, but I'll keep guy number 1 as friend and I wish him good luck in love

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    • OFF TOPIC***** did you talked to your parents about your birthday?

    • I actually did that's sweet of you to mention that. My dad apologized. Ik he just worries. He's in a kind of rough business he has to hear about some gritty stuff

    • I'm glad you did!! Because if you wouldn't you would've that feeling for a long time im happy for you :)

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