I feel like I'm the only one who feels this way about sex and if not then I feel like I'm going to school in the wrong place?

I once dated a guy who had the same values as me. In fact, his might have even been stronger. I think about sex as something spiritual and it's supposed to be with someone you love. It didn't work out with this guy and me because it was long distance and he was a few years older than me. We were headed different directions in life but he served as a standard to me of how a guy should be.

Well now I'm in college and I'm surrounded by people who think it's weird if I want to wait to have sex with someone and they almost make it seem like that is going to be impossible.

I have yet to have a boyfriend and I feel it's because I'm more reserved than guys here and also more mature. I have also been through a lot in my life that has caused me to have stress.

Well I started dating this guy. He is really nice and has taken me out on dates. At the same time though he also wants to have sex. I still feel like I'm getting to know him. I am not ready to have sex with him. The other day we were hanging out after a party though and I was way too drunk to stop things quick enough but he started having sex with me because I think he thought I wanted to because we were definitely messing around so I don't blame him. Well I didn't want to have sex though and I stopped it shortly after it started but I still don't think he realized why I stopped it.

He still wants to hang out with me and was really nice over text but we haven't talked about what happened. And now I feel like I don't want to see him again because it doesn't feel right for me that that happened but my friend made it seem weird that I felt this way... is it okay and normal that I feel like this?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am the same and it's not a popular opinion.. It's sad.. for me.

    Well the guy was drunk too, you also seemed to want it (I know because you were drunk), so yap, you can't blame him. You can also still hang out with him/going on dates and see if he is okay with waiting. It has no harm whatsoever plus you won't regret of not trying it. ;)
    If he can't wait, forget him and you will be one step closer to find someone similar to you.

    And some universal advice I learnt is that if you can kind of control who you are dating with, try to find someone who has similar morals. Maybe there are only a very few, but there are (like that guy you dated)! You (we) are not aliens after all! ;)

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What Guys Said 1

  • Its mot normal but its okay to feel that way. I guess you can have your second virginity and enjoy sexless relationships until you can find a guy willing to put up with it for long enough to marry you

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    • I don't necessarily want to wait till marriage though

    • Go for it. Abstinence is fine up to a certain point for a majority of men

What Girls Said 2

  • I'd say give it a second try. Maybe you both weren't communicating clearly enough? If it's okay for someone to enjoy acting like a pet when they have sex it's def okay for you to enjoy a deeper connection.

    Everyone approaches sex in a different way and wants different things. Just accept that your wants take time to develop. There's nothing wrong with enjoying that.

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  • It is normal!!! If you want to save yourself for someone special that is your decision and no one else. People say stuff like that about me at my college because I don't drink, do drugs, or cuss, because it is just my choice to. I'm glad even though he had come onto you he stopped when he said no, and that shows some real respect. I think that you guys just need to have a one on one talk about this seriously and see where you go from there, because he needs to understand where your coming from.

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