Guys, how can a woman in her early 20s attract a man in his mid 30s?

Please don't say 'dress slutty'.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Have your shit together, be interesting to talk to, and look presentable.

    Particularly the first one. As guys get older, they don't want to put up with the drama that seems to be attached to a lot of younger women. By mid 30s your starting to see the bigger picture, starting to see the longer game, so all of that petty personal drama stuff seems... well.. petty. It's draining to deal with, and meaningless for the most part.

    By the mid 30s a lot of guys are starting to realize that there is more to life than sex as well, so being able to actually hold down an interesting conversation becomes much more important. Sex, while fun, is not something you want to be doing 24/7, so there needs to be an interesting person that can keep his attention for those times you are together with clothes on.

    In terms of appearance, it's not going to be about looking as hot as a super model. Mid 30s start getting guys a bit more practical. They will accept you as you are (if you are within their 'acceptable' range, anyway), but you will have to look presentable. It doesn't mean a ton of make-up or hours doing your hair, but just... looking nice. Not looking like you were partying all night, high on drugs, is appreciated. Not looking like you slept in the library in your clothes studying all night. Whatever. It's about working with what you have and not trying too hard to make it appear like you are over-compensating or trying to be something you are not.

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What Guys Said 6

  • First if you want a ltr don't dress too slutty, dress feminine, perhaps sexy, but subtle sexy, more elegance, not necessarily expensive I guess a little more classy not trashy.

    Second try to act mature for your age, no drama, mind games, or soap opera esque behavior, guys that age have had more than enough of that for their lifetime!

    Third remember that guys that age who are single have had horrible luck with women. They typically, have either had their hearts broken more times than they can count (like me) or thought they found the right woman and married her only to have her rip their hearts out. A lot of us are kind of jaded and see women negatively. You need to show us that you are nothing like the bitches who broke our hearts:

    1. Be positive, especially towards us

    2. Show that you think of someone other than yourself

    3. Be kind and nurturing, no one wants to be with a bitch 24/7, especially when they already had that experience!

    A couple other things:

    Be ready to engage in interesting and sober conversations, its the easiest way to get to know anyone, including the men you seek (most of us don't party and if we do it is far less than we used to). Simply strike up a conversation and let us know you are interested.

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  • I imagine you being in your early 20s is probably more attractive to a man in his mid 30s by default. What man slowly approaching 40 wouldn't want to be with a younger woman? As far as attracting him on a mental level and not just physical however, I would say you just have to show him that you're mature for your age and not just some silly party-hard college girl.

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    • Nah, let's keep it in the physical level.

    • If we're keeping it at the physical level, then just do whatever it is you would do to attract a guy around your age. Older men are just as attracted to younger women as the younger guys are, if not more.

    • Fair enough. Thanks.

  • Maybe it's just me but I don't think his age matters. Attractive girls are attractive girls, regardless of how old he is.

    My history teacher in high school, who was in his 70s, once made a comment about a good looking lady in one of the books. Some of my classmates expressed that they found that weird as he was so old, but he stated "yeah you don't have to worry about that, this never goes away". In hindsight perhaps that was a bit creepy but at the time the advice was well received.

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    • Well, as you mentioned your teacher, maybe it's important to say the man I'm after is my professor. So does being one of his students matter?

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    • Aye! And should you need advice/feedback on looks, you could always create a selfie question, or just message someone that is older. You've got 3 of those gathered in this question already!

    • Not really, I'm okay with my looks.

  • be attractive and don't seem high maintenance

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    • And how am I supposed to be attractive? Attractiveness is very subjective and I don't know what he considers attractive...

  • By being interesting, mature, self confident, stable, and past your party phase.

    The insecurity and flightiness of young women is a big turn off to me.

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  • be attentive, hold a good conversation, smile, massage his ego

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    • Blargh I'm not very good at conversations.

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    • ha ha.. avoid poiltics and religion yes... can ask about his involvement though and keep your opinions to yourself

    • Then it'd not be a conversation, but a fucking monologue.

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