When do you give someone a second chance?

I will try to make this brief.

I met someone last year and we both hit it off almost inmediately but we worked together so we just kept it professional. But things were obviously becoming tense between us. We ended up going out a few times but I found out he had a girlfriend. I confronted him about it to which he disappeared on me for a while. He finally came back and apologized several times saying that he had too many things going on, that he didn't know how to tell me that he was seeing someone else but that they weren't together anymore and that he regretted the way things turned out between us because he thought I was a wonderful person.

I had already made up my mind about him after not hearing from him for almost two months and just told him I appreciated the apology but that it was too late. He tried talking to me a little but I didn't really respond much so we stopped talking. That was in January. We are now almost into May.

I still think about him even though I have tried looking elsewhere and even reached out to my first love just to realize that had been over a long time ago for both of us. I at least got closure in all other areas of my life except for with this guy.

Is it possible that just because no one else has made me interested in them is why I am still thinking about him or should I reconsider and give him another chance? I really don't know what to do here.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I only give people second chances if they fulfill two criteria:

    A - They've done more good things to earn my trust then the one bad thing they did to break it. The good scale has to REALLY be tipped in their favor before they screwed me over.

    And

    B - Only if I can trust the person as far as I can throw them. I do not leave myself vulnerable to the person again. If I give a person a chance, they are left on their own, with no help from me. They have to PROVE and EARN that right for me to expose my vulnerable side to them again.

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    • Yeah, he tried helping me with some things after he apologized but I was kind of mad at that point. I am not mad now just not sure what step to take. Most people say he is a good guy so I don't know if what happened here was just a one time mistake or he is a serial heartbreaker.

What Guys Said 1

  • If he did it to his other girlfriend then what's to say he won't do it to you? Not a hard choice in my opinion.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You have given him more chances then he deserve. He tricked you into liking him then just ran away from your heart. Is sorry really going to fix that. You can't just want to be with someone then disappear and come back when its right for you that's not fair to you. You might be feeling lonely and wanting to see if he still misses you but if he did he would of contacted you by nw. Be strong know your worth and don't settle

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  • Go with your instinct. If your heart is telling you there are doubts then you know what you need to do. I'm a big believer in following your intuition

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    • I wrote this above but thought it would apply here too:

      Yeah, he tried helping me with some things after he apologized but I was kind of mad at that point. I am not mad now just not sure what step to take. Most people say he is a good guy so I don't know if what happened here was just a one time mistake or he is a serial heartbreaker.

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