If I have serious problems approaching girls romantically should I seek professional help?

If I ask a girl and get rejected will it help? Should I focus on my friendships with girls right now and hope that will help? Or should I seek therapy or something? I have no problem talking to women or being friends but I cannot show the slightest sign of liking them. I have a serious mental block.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly I'm a big fan of therapy so I don't see how it could hurt. I also agree with Klaatu. Rejection is going to happen. You could be the most amazing person ever and people would still turn you down. And that's okay! It doesn't mean you're automatically not cool/hot/lukewarm enough. It just means you weren't the right balance for that person.

    Have fun being the best you YOU can be and eventually you'll run into someone who does like all of those qualities. Then you'll look back on this and laugh :)

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    • But there has been a couple girls I've felt I missed out on. There are reasons I didn't ask them out but now I feel they were just excuses. For example a girl I like is moving away. I feel like I don't want to cause any problems with her moving no matter how small. Is this a legitimate reason for not asking her on a date or am I making excuses?

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    • Stop giving yourself the mental block excuse just be like BAM " Do you want to go out for coffee?" Then it happens so fast there's no time for roadblocks!

    • True, I just need to make it happen.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • Let's put it this way. If a guy says he never gets rejected, he is LYING or DOESN'T approach girls.

    I'm not being arrogant here, but a lot of people have said I can get any girl I want simply because of the way I look. I still get rejected. I don't think you should get professional help because what do you think he is going to say? He is going to say go out and approach girls, the SAME advice you would get on this website, but he is charging you.

    Just think about work or something else rather than dating. Have you failed? Yes? (Cause you're not perfect) How did you react? Did you get all embarrassed, or did you pick yourself back up and tried until it worked? Same applies to getting rejected. I don't think you should ask a girl out who would reject you because that defeats the purpose. Getting rejected helps in the sense that it's a part of life and you WILL wake up tomorrow healthy and fine. However, if you continuously get rejected then you are probably doing something wrong.

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    • My problem is making myself ask a girl out. I've never do e it before. I've tried psycing myself up thinking I can do it. I talk to the person but just can't ask them out or tell them how I feel. I want to figure out a way to get past the first time asking someone out but don't know how. What about having a mock date with a friend and talk about relationships and stuff. I think it's a fist time thing and I want to get past it.

    • A mock date isn't going to do anything because you know it's not real. The ONLY way to get past the first time is to just do it. Even if it's the most awkward way and it fails, you can only get better from there on out.

    • Ok I will try. I might have to build up to it but I will get there.

  • by getting rejected will help u actually... because u won't take it so seriously if u get rejected again basically...:-)

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    • Ok I just have to figure out how to get past it. Should I ask I girl out that I think will most likely say no so that it's expected? Will it have the same effect?

    • yeah... i guess so..:-)

  • No. Stop being a coward and ask out girls. Skirting around the issue doesn't solve anything. WTF is the worst that could happen? She says no--guess what, that doesn't change your situation at all from what it currently is, except build up your courage.

    If that's still such an issue, setup a plan where you try something new and uncomfortable every week to practice building up your courage. After a month, try asking out a girl. Then ask out one girl a week. Then one a day. Then five a day. Then 20 a day. Rack up the rejections, build up your courage.

    You don't have a mental problem, you have a character problem. Build your character.

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    • Well I'm not the kind of guy who's interested in asking out multiple girls or "scoring numbers". I just would like to be able to ask a girl I like out on a date. Also what do you mean character problem? I have come a long way. I have no problem asking girls to dance or become friends but this next step is difficult. I have a mental block. I'm trying to break that wall but am not sure how.

    • Did I say ANYTHING about scoring numbers? NO I DIDN'T.

      You think you are going to ask out one girl and get what you want? Think again buddy--you'll get rejected a LOT. That's the nature of the game. Get used to rejection.

      And the character problem you have is a lack of courage. Bet it shows up in other areas of your life too. Career, family--you name it, it's probably holding you back.

    • This is the one area I lack courage in. I also am well aware rejection is a part of dating. I have recently been working on my self esteem and confidence due to being overweight. This is my last hurdle as far as relationships go. It feels like the hardest. I know that if you've never dealt with self esteem or have already been through it you won't have much sympathy. I get that. But telling someone to do something but not tell them how or where to go to learn is not helpful. Now if there is no way to find out how or nowhere I can learn that's a different story. Is that the case is there nowhere I can get this king of help. or do I Need to figure out how to do it on my own?

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