Is It Okay to Turn Down a Smoker?

So, I've been out on a couple of dates and texting with this guy and I just found out that he's a smoker. He smokes frequently throughout the day.
Is it wrong to say "no" to more dates because of this? He seems like a nice enough guy, but I really don't like smoking and I like my lungs the way they are! And if I did, what reason would I give him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No it is not. He made that choice to be a smoker and has to understand that most of the population (at least in most places) does not smoke.

    I am currently dating a girl who smokes socially, maybe one on a night out drinking or with friends that smoke. She understands not to do that if she will be seeing me, as I have turned her down to kiss and such if she reaked of smoke. But she does not buy her own and it has not been a problem.

    But ya, you should not feel bad. It is a preference, you can have preferences. And even at that, this is a pretty basic preference, right up there with gender or height.

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What Guys Said 9

  • For me smoking is a dealbreaker. I would just be honest, but let him down lightly. Im surprised u only just found out cos i can usually tell from their smell if they smoke or not.

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  • Smoking is a turn off for me, so I'd turn the down too.
    You can either tell him the real reason or say that your lifestyles don't match up etc..

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  • I'd just tell them "I don't date people who smoke, sorry".

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  • M a smoker and previously a chain smoker... the last relationship I had was wid a medical srudent ( cardiologist) 3 years ago... so @ first thngs were going slow.. then when I told her that I loved her and she said she would b my gf if I quit and then I quit... but after I returned 2 cigs... so if ur guy does tell u the same him then u could ask him 2 quit and if he does love u he will quit... wish u success!!!

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  • As a smoker, I find this highly offensive.

    Liberals, I'm offended! Get over here and protect my rights!

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    • You have the right to smoke, sure. But you choose the social stigmas that come along with that as well...

  • I don't like smokers...

    Even if a Blondie chick offer me a night I would reject her coz of smoking!!!

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  • Just say him that I don't like smoking then if he say I am going to stop smoking the gohead otherwise leave him. hope for the best and go in polite way good luck😃

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  • Tell him you don't want to date a smoker. Pretty simple.

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  • maybe you make a compromise that he doesn't smoke in your company

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What Girls Said 7

  • I should be honest with him that you don't like the fact that he smokes and that it's a huge turn off for you. If you really, really like him other than that though, it might be worth still dating him but asking him not to smoke around you - maybe it'll actually help him cut back and eventually quit. BUT, don't expect him to quit for you, he's gotta do that for himself (I used to smoke and trying to quit for someone else never worked).

    But, if you don't think you could date a smoker even if he doesn't smoke around you, then just be honest with him about that being the reason. He might be a bit sad about it, but I'm sure he'll understand (as an ex smoker, I can guarantee you aren't the first girl to turn him down because of that nasty habit).

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    • **You should be honest with him. Not sure why I wrote "I" lol

  • Lots of people won't date smokers.

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  • It's absolutely okay. Tell him smoking is a deal breaker.

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  • I don't like smokers either

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  • I've never smoked and I'm totally against doing it, but most of my friends are smokers and I've dated smokers too. It's never really affected me because that's something they do and it's their choice.
    If it affects you so much, I guess you shouldn't be with him and tell him explicitly why.

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  • Nope, I've done it countless times because smoking is a deal breaker for me... But it's very rare in my area to find someone who doesn't smoke

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  • To reject a guy just because of a habit he has (or addiction whatever) I don't know I think it's a bit shallow, he is obviously trying very hard to not smoke around you and not ruin your precious lungs for you. I would give him another chance but hey it's your life.

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    • I used to smoke and I never held it against anyone who rejected me because they didn't like that I smoked. I get it - it stinks, you can taste it and smell it on their breath, their clothes and vehicle smells... it's gross.

    • Well, my lungs are pretty precious to me. I hope yours are to you as well.

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