When a guy says, "If felt like we were going in two different directions." what does that mean to you?

He's a pilot and I'm a teacher. When he left for training, he changed and it felt like he had lost interest. We dated 13 months.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Commercial pilot not military I assume given your age? I worked as an international flight attendant out of NYC for 3 years. The life of junior flight crew is a rough one and you spend a lot of time away from home/ loved ones.

    It is possible to make it work but you would have to move with him, be alone most of the time and be very poor for a couple of years. If you currently live where all of your family is that makes it even harder and would be selfish of him to take you along unless he is intent upon marrying you.

    When I clicked on your post I figured it was just an easy thing guys say to get out without hurt feelings but in this case it sounds like he is very much telling the truth. He probably wants to travel on his time off, see the world and get to where he has a steady line (set work schedule) and income before settling down.

    Even then dating or being married to a pilot is hard. I dated a pilot my first year who was also a first year pilot for our regional carrier. I could trade days to get time off with him but I can remember it really sucked when we were working to talk on the phone at night both of us in lonely hotel rooms in different parts of the world. But crew dating crew is still way easier than dating someone with a normal work schedule since when I was off he was off.

    His days off will be in the middle of the week when you are at school and he'll be gone for Christmas...

    If he is telling you you are moving in different directions I wouldn't try to guilt him into trying to make things work because it sounds like on his end he has already played this all out in his mind and made his decision. Best

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    • Yes, He's commerical and in his second year with this company. He only does day trips to small airports and currently lives out of a hotel. When we started dating I knew this and wasn't sure if I wanted anything serious with him. We meet online and had a lot of great communication. We both discussed what we wanted in life and was very similar. We both live far away from our families and neither of us seem them very much. For me, being a very independent person the long distance never bothered me. I like my space and having my girl trips. At some point I really want a family, but I also still want to see the world and be more financially set.

What Guys Said 1

  • Take this from someone in the industry. . if you want to make this work, be ready for long weeks on tour, 1 or no phone calls a week.

    It's just what it is.

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What Girls Said 4

  • it means your futures aren't going to match up. maybe he wants certain things he can't get with you and you want things he can't give you.
    maybe he isn't ready to commit, or maybe he is super ready and feels you're not. could mean a few different things...

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  • It means he doesn't think that your lives are going in the same direction and that you're not likely to work out in the long term... you want different things for your futures.

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  • That he doesn't think you guys have a future together. If it's been awhile I would talk to him about your feelings for him though.

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  • That you both wanted different things from life and your interests didn't match anymore

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