Guys- what do you think about women who don't believe in gender roles? Would you date someone like that?

I just don't think a man should always pay when going out on a date. I also don't think men should be expected to be the bread winner. If they are able and want to that is great, but I don't understand why it is wrong or emasculating a guy if a woman were to be the bread winner if she also has the higher degree and qualifications and the guy doesn't like his job. I also don't understand how it is fair that women will compain about the wage gap and expect to be treated 'the same as men' in society but when it comes to things like who pays on a date, and who is pampered, etc they always expect that to be the man's job. Both girls and guys have expressed how much they disagree with my mentality. One guy actually pushed my arm away when I tried to pay for dinner when we went out on a date and got mad at me for even trying... I was only trying to be nice. I knew he was dealing with a lot at the time and didn't think it was wrong to pay for once. Also, several times, when I have tried to hold a door open for a guy because I happened to walk in first, they have gotten insulted and some have made condescending remarks like "Well, thaaanks sweet heart" before laughing at me. A lot of guys think I am being unnatural and not very feminine for even bringing something like this up. And as for women, they think gender roles are there for a reason, etc. So what do guys on here think? What do you think about women who think like this? And would you ever date someone like me?

  • I would date a girl like that
    85% (11)91% (21)89% (32)Vote
  • I would not date a girl like that
    15% (2)9% (2)11% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I am pretty old-fashioned and I love being a gentleman to a lady. And, to be honest, I have always been very well received by woman that way. After a few dates, however, I think it's pretty normal to trade off who pays, etc. and be a bit more lax about it. But, still, I will always open the door, carry the item, make certain that she is on the inside of the sidewalk, always allow to finish speaking (I do this anyway) etc. I take it as my responsibility to make her feel safe, taken care of, and loved. And , in doing so, always get back the respect, and so much more from her than I ever would have otherwise in the form of non-monetary rewards (and I am not referring just to sex). So, I prefer a woman who feels comfortable with gender roles, but not overly rigid, and certainly relaxing as the relationship grows. I would never push your hand away, or laugh at your for getting the door for me either! That's just ridiculous and shows little confidence in your date. Does all that make sense?

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What Guys Said 11

  • Most of the girls I know have this same mentality. I've actually got a crush on someone who thinks just like this. The reason that men want to pay, hold doors open, etc. is because men are protectors. I'm not saying that women can't always take care of themselves, but men want to feel not only needed but wanted as well.

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  • I would *only* date a person like that. I can't *stand* gender roles, all they do is hold us back as both a society, and as individuals. Gender roles may exist for a reason, but who ever said that reason had to be a good one, an acceptable one? Gender roles exist because people have been extremely ignorant for a very long time and for ages have decided that they need to force their views onto everyone else, creating a society of ignorant people. I suppose one foundation for this in, say, a country like America would be Christianity. Seeing as the bible tends to blatantly badmouth women as "inferior" it's no surprise that a nation that's majorly Christian would be very misogynistic and think that women should be meek and submissive. I personally can not stand such ideas because the only type of women I would *ever* want to even think about being romantic with would naturally be a very strong and powerful sort of woman, a real warrior. Gender roles need to go the way of the dinosaurs, there never was and never will be a real true use for them; in this world or any other.

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  • I voted A, but there's a dose of realism to be discussed. I have no problem with ignoring societal-defined gender roles, but there are biologically-defined gender roles that cannot be ignored. If this female who "doesn't believe in gender roles" doesn't understand reality, then, no, I would not remain with her because I would be wasting time waiting for her to discover reality.

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    • Could you maybe expand on that? What exactly do you mean by biologically-defined gender roles?

    • Actually, perhaps I ought to ask you that. In the hundreds of millenia that our species has existed, the vast amount of reproduction was not done by rape but by mutual sexual intercourse. However, males are considerably less finicky - we'll fuck anyone, pretty much - so "natural selection" doesn't apply with us because we select all the women! Women, on the other hand, are much more selective with who they have intercourse with. They are the governesses of human evolution and it is they who have crafted what our species has become. Men have become bigger. Men have become more protective. Love evolved to keep us near our female to help raise kids as opposed to skipping out and spreading his genes fucking more women. We become smarter - really, all of our technology exists to help us predict and neutralize threats. All of this due to women - you have created to be your dogs. Furthermore...

    • ... in the bedroom is where you discover reality. Look at all the women who are into things like "50 Shades of Grey". Sure, she might dream of breaking the glass ceiling, but lots of women want to ravaged in bed. Look at the men who may be nice equality-loving feminists, but still like to be dominant in the bedroom and demean women with dirty language. Personally, that's not my thing, but, sexually, the more women prefer submissiveness in their fantasies than dominance and more men prefer dominance in their fantasies than submissiveness. That's not all men and women, but it is well obvious when you start collecting data. There's no value judgment in what I've written, but what I've illustrated is the existence in a sense of different gender roles in sex. Each is equal, but each is different. A relationship with two submissives isn't going to work in the long run just like two dominants won't be successful either. Nature is filled with "equal but different" examples.

  • You just described my current relationship. I love dating a women like this.

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  • I think those guys you went out with need to get their heads out of their asses.

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  • Sounds fine with me.

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  • I would definitely date a girl like that-I'm like that myself. I don't really have a defined gender (though I prefer her/they) so yes.

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  • I'd prefer an equal partner in a relationship.

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  • Tes i would date her i think she would sound kinda hip and progressive

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  • I hate gender roles...

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  • Of course, I also don't believe in gender roles.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Why wouldn't some of them? A lot of them can mooch just like women if they're attractive enough.

    Whether or not you agree, you're still playing a role. It may be one that was once dictated as a man's role in the traditional sense, but you are still playing a role. It's simply a new one---gender roles that aren't limited by gender.

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  • I personally do not abide to gender roles. I wear ties and stuff to school and everyone calls me a lesbian. :/ Hopefully one day I'll find a guy who will like me like this, heh...

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