After I did the poll results on who pays for the first date, I must ask?

Why is it that feminists and women, might, or might not, fight for equality, but then expect a man to pay for the first date, and be treated like they are on a pedestal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's all about social conditioning. Girls tend to be brainwashed into thinking that if a guy doesn't pay then he doesn't really care about her, that it sets a dangerous precedent for any relationship, he's a douche, he's lazy, he's unworthy, he's selfish, he's not really a man, etc.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Because who doesn't want free food? Lol there's people that will pay. Main thing in my opinion is that if someone offers its rude to say no, but in my experiance many female feminists will offer to go halvsies

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    • Yea but in these cases according to statistics they don't really mean it. When a women offers to split the bill she is doing it to be nice, she doesn't really mean it. You are being played

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    • You didn't say that she paid, you said that she "offered" to pay.

    • Marstalk, you get it! Lol this ain't a healthy economy lol I'm taking halvsies when I can

  • Doesn't matter. Most first dates I have been on we pay for our own stuff. There have been dates were I have paid and dates were the lady paid.

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  • I always choose a free activity for first dates, because if we don't have the simpathy there is no hard feelings, we just say goodbyes, and it also tells me something about the girl. If she is upset because I didn't take her to some fancy place then she is definitely not my type.
    On the other hand if I invite her to some place later I pay the bill. If we plan something together, we split the bill.

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  • Because it isn't about equality. There maybe a different agenda, perhaps?

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  • i loved the question since it really cofuses me. thanks for posting this question

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  • Because they're hypocrites with double standards.
    They cannot function if everything isn't just handed to them.
    They live in a world driven by men, doing work women would never touch because it requires actual work.
    Yet they seem to think that everything around them appears out of nowhere, and take it for granted.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Feminism has nothing to do with who pays for who on dates and who opens which doors for who. Feminism is about creating equal opportunities! That's it. It's really not more complicated than that. I don't understand first world feminism either. Just because you want it to be OK for women to vote or drive cars or have the opportunity to follow a certain career path doesn't mean you suddenly want nothing to be done for you or don't want to experience some chivalry. When guys hold doors open for me it has nothing to do with equality. Neither does paying for a friggen meal. Equality is simply having equal opportunities.

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    • Chivalry is against feminism because of the standard that it sets for men to be. Men shouldn't be looked at as any less masculine if they don't pay for the date but you women put the unfair expectation on them to pay for the date. I guess my question is do you see men as less masculine for not being chivalrous?

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    • So then if a man took you out to a good dinner then you would then show up dressed nicely?

    • I always dress nicely. I put in lots of effort to look good cause I take pride in my appearance. So the answer would be yes.

  • Oh FFS... literally every self identifying FEMINIST that I know tends to pay for her share of dates and doesn't want to be placed on a pedestal.

    Don't conflate "women" with "feminists".

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  • A guy usually pays. I always offer the guys have never accepted it.

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    • Do you genuinely offer? So if the guy expected the offer would you be mad? Would you still give him a second date?

    • It's a genuine offer. I don't know if I would be offended if he accepted but I would be taken back since it has never happened to me. The second date would be depended on the actual first day not just when the check came.

    • Because the majority of women I know don't really mean that when they say it and if he accepts, there won't be a second date

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