How to set healthy relationship boundaries without being too controlling?

I`m in the process of repairing my relationship and some trust issues with my boyfriend of three years. We both came out of really messy relationships when we met, in his he was the cheater in mines I was being cheated on. It was a big risk for both of us but we clicked and told each other EVERYTHING from the start.

Like every relationship it started out carefree. He was cleaning up from his old lifestyle. Going from a pretty bad woman chaser and getting rid of who he needed to, to just focusing on us. I was getting over blindly being another guys fetish and trying to prepare myself to trust again while getting to know him but as our relationship went on I realized a lot of things from his past still leaked over.

There were the girls who didn`t get it that slowly trickled away as he ignored them but there were people coming into our lives who still liked to test us. The thing about my boyfriend is he`s overly friendly and social. I`m the quiet, to myself type so the way he interacts with girls makes me uncomfortable sometimes because a lot of them have come out and asked if he has a girlfriend despite everything on his facebook (etc). So something he did still has them interested enough to still ask despite the clearly visible hints. It got particularly bad for me when one of his female co-workers did this and I had to think about her trying to make moves on him at work and him just brushing them off as play between friends after she expressed wanting to be more. Then I saw one of her "thanks for making my day awesome because life has been really bad posts," on his timeline and I found out he had been going to lunch and exchanging messages with her quite a bit. At the time I was going through hell at home and in college and although he was supportive I had felt our contact dwindling (less messages, calls, etc). I attributed it to work but ya know. I know what I would like him to do but any suggestions on setting healthy boundaries in general?


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  • Just talk it all out.

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