How can I stop standing in my own way and messing it up with every guy?

So I hate myself and I'm so frustrated with myself and my life. Everytime I talk to a guy or hang out with them I fall for them and I think each time he will be my first boyfriend but everytime I scare them away. I try so hard not to be clingy or too easy but I just want nothing more than to be someone's girlfriend. I feel so bad about myself it's embarrassing I'm 20 and I'm the only one I know who has never had a real boyfriend. I know I'm fat and ugly I just repel guys and I'm so sick of it they are into me for maybe a month a little less then they disappear I am so sick of being such a defect. I just don't know what to do differently I go to the gym cause I know I'm fat. I just don't know how to keep a guy I guess as dumb as that sounds. I need a life cpach I just want to be a whole new person


0|0
2|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your not alone, i'm in the same boat literally the same boat, my longest relationship was 3 months before she just couldn't take the separation from her ex, there's nothing wrong with me at all she says, she does love me but she just loves him more, okay were friends because she's a real nice gal but i ask myself why? why does this happen I've been cheated on and rejected for some silly reasons, okay they might not be silly to the girl, i fall for people too quick too i always get attached not to overbearing or anything i just feel a connection to people, and this has always ended up going bad for me, i don't want a girlfriend for the status, or to say i have a girlfriend, to me its someone i can confide in and just feel that little bit more wanted.

    And from that picture in no way are you fat :)
    Just look up and don't give up, put your energy into other things and stay positive, your not worthless or defective just as i am not, we're just unique people in a world gone mad where no one can trust anyone as easily as they used to, you seem an okay person to me and you just need to take your time and not over think with these guys, just discuss thing and be nice i wish you the best of luck any questions or extra context i'd be happy to help :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm sorry that's happened to you, you seem like a sweet and genuine guy, there will be a girl for you :) and thanks I just don't get how no one wamts me

    • Show All
    • It's an iphone you can't just take the battery out, I just don't want him to hate me a mutual friend of ours thinks he just needs time and will come around I guess he put up with a lot in his previous relationship

    • Ahh okay fair does, never been a iphone user sorry, i have to agree with her, i'd just gibe him a bit of space, i can't speak for him as i have no idea what he's been through, but when i was cheated on, it got me for a while and made me a bit timid, i wasn't afraid or anything it was just a knock that takes a while to get over, use the friend to your advantage, obviously not in a bad or manipulative way, just see how he is every so often and ask about him, it will show you still care and show the friend who may say to him oh blah blah asked about ya earlier if you get what i mean :)
      No one wants to be hated but humans are a volatile, emotional thing, its one thing to earn friendship its another to earn trust, love etc it all has to be earned and respected by both parties if its to go anywhere, as i say just show him you care if he had a tough previous relationship and in time he may come round to you and realize you were the one who loved, and defended him :)

What Guys Said 6

  • It is hard especially for younger people today, so many both men and women seem to be obsessed with casual sex and view any kind of actual commitment as boring for whatever reason. As for your pic you don't look fat, you don't sound stupid, and as for clingy, you might not be that clingy. A lot of guys who don't want to be in a relationship with women use that excuse when they break up with women. It sounds far less douche bag like than, "Bye, I'm gonna go see how many sluts I can bang."

    I've noticed this for years, I have always wanted a committed relationship myself, but most everyone I know girl and guy are simply obsessed with no strings attached sex.

    As for wanting to be a whole new person, self improvement is admirable, but it sounds like you need to find a whole new person with the same intentions as you. Not just someone who says they do just to get into your pants. Don't be so hard on yourself. We are out here :)

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you, I just don't get what is wrong with me I want someone to want to date me

    • Show All
    • No like I try going on dates with these guys and I can't bring myself to continue our personalities just don't click

    • What happens to typically make you think the personalities don't click?

  • You are neither fat or ugly. You may be too clingy. Guys need some space. You also can't give up your body too quickly. I've not experienced a girl having sex with me and wanting to leave them. In my opinion if a woman has sex with me that is a reason to stay with her not move on. Guys are stupid until they mature later. Can you not be happy being single? Do you need a guy to feel vaidated?

    0|0
    1|0
    • Where did it say I was having sex with them? Why are you even bothering answering my questions you're rude... Your not being helpful you're being petty and I'm sick of you

    • Show All
    • I told you not to talk to me... I don't get why you have to comment on every question I ask

    • I don't.. and i haven't messaged you. Be alone.

  • If the girl on your profile pic is you, I wouldn't say you're fat.
    Just don't rush, it's not always a big problem that it takes some trying before you meet "the right person".
    It's obvious your first thought would always be that it's your fault. And than you look for what exactly is the reason. Have you considered asking one of the guys who let you down, why he did so? That could really help you :D

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you, that is me in the pic! Yeah the guys just always say they don't want a relationship in general

    • Show All
    • Well thank you (: I' e gotten better this guy that I'm talking to now I have been giving him space

    • You see, that's what feedback does :D
      You learn from it and it helps make you better & happier!

  • "I'm 20 and I'm the only one I know who has never had a real boyfriend" <----- not alone... many guys/girls at 20 never had a gf/bf basically

    and judging by yer pic... no u don;'t look fat ;-)

    0|0
    0|0
  • is that you in your profile picture? but sounds like you need to work on your self confidence and not having a guy determine your self worth other wise you are doomed to fail

    0|0
    0|0
  • show me ur face and ill tell you if its ur looks or just you

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • For you, you have to stop looking at yourself in a bad light, if you think the worst of yourself others will to, you have to start thinking you'd be a great S/O and people should be lucky to have you. You seem like you're a caring genuine person, all though the fact that you haven't had a boyfriend can be discouraging, try not to get too ahead of yourself, go with the flow, you want it to happen naturally and not forced. Be with people who want to be with you, at the end of the day if they don't, it would be for the better because you don't want someone to feel like that have to be with you, you should want them to want to be with the wonderful person that you are.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you, you're way too sweet I just don't like any of the guys who like me thats how I know I'm a reject because only guys who have something wrong with them actually want me and try to keep me

  • I think your attitude is probably your problem. You talk about yourself in such a way that's not appealing, why would a guy want to be with you if that's how you feel about you? Also i think you put too much on the one guy you're datting at the time and they can feel it. You're not fat and you're probably not ugly. I'm 21 and have never been in a relationship, let alone kiss a guy, no biggie. I think you need time alone so you can get a better sense of yourself. Work on yourself for the better. I don't mean to sound mean but that's my opinion based on what you've written.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...