Guys, Can "I don't know" actually mean I don't know when it comes to relationships?

If you're seeing a woman for a few months and when she ask if this will grow into a relationship, if you say "I don't know" can it really mean you don't know? Is that always just a line to say instead of saing "no"? Can "I don't know" turn into a "yes" at some point? If it really does means no, why can't you just say "no"?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It is an ambiguous response that means: 1) I don't know, or 2) I hope so but I don't want to sound like a sap, or 3) no, but I don't want to say that now. So, yes, the answer may eventually be yes.

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    • I get what you're saying.

      But if it's no, then why not just save time in the long run and just say no? Why drag it out?

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    • You're right, I don't know when that will be. You've given me a lot to thing about. Thank you!

    • You're welcome.

What Guys Said 6

  • Unless the guy is a complete flake, your going to know if the woman your with is long term material or just sex material by 1-2 months in. It depends on how often you get to see each other. for instance, I have been with the woman I am with now for almost 3 months. We are older obv. But she went back to school and was taking 3 classes and working 18-24 hrs a week. We started dating at the beginning of the semester and it just ended today. So we have only seen each other 1 day a week at best. But I knew that it was going to be like that when I asked her out for the 2nd date. That was what I wanted back then. I never though I would fall in love with her. Based on all the other relationships I had since my unwanted divorce I never felt anything for any of them. I didn't want to date anymore at least until spring. So I figured worse case I get 1 date every week or two.
    After our 2nd date I told my sister that if she doesn't dump me, I am going to marry her. I just knew.
    Unfortunately, she is really not working all that hard to get past her husband. As much as I love her, I am not willing to be someone's 3rd or 4th priority when it comes to a relationship. So now that school is out, we will find out within 2-4 weeks if this relationship is going to last or not...

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  • In my experience seeing a woman for a few months IS a relationship. At the very least you should be officially a couple in terms of being mutually exclusive. Generally for me an "I don't know" answer only comes out if I haven't been properly motivated or recognized the need to figure it out. A real answer soon follows.

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  • I have a laid back mentally. Generally, I don't know is the same as maybe. You could flip a coin over that answer.

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  • After only a few months, I think he really doesn't know.
    I'm sure that's not what you wanted him to say but at least he was honest.
    Why don't you ask him to explain what he meant a little in a non-confrontational way.

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  • I had that with a old girlfriend who I wanted to see normally means no.

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  • not everyone knows what they want

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