Why are people afraid of their love interests knowing how they feel?

I see a lot of posts asking "how can I ask her/him to hang out without her/him knowing I like her/him" or something along those lines. Why don't they want their love interest to know how they feel? I get that it could seem embarrassing if they ask and get shot down, but is there some other reason for it?

Why do people try to be subtle about their feelings?

Updates:
I get that they have a fear of rejection. Maybe I'm just overthinking things here, but it seems like people try to hang out with their love interest on a consistent basis without taking those bold steps to get what they want.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well as far as just like, "Hey I like you let's go on a date", I'm okay with this and if I get a no it is because they are seeing someone. Men don't often say no if they aren't unless the woman is way unattractive.

    I've had to learn the hard way more than once why me as the woman making the initial effort is a high risk venture.

    Most men will jump at the opportunity to date a women having put in zero effort so it is more likely that there level of interest in actually dating you is lower than the man who worked for weeks to finally screw up the nerve to ask you for a drink.

    Second maybe he did like you and was screwing up the nerve but hadn't yet. He isn't sure if he is good enough or whatever and running all these different scenarios and is suddenly shocked when you are the one 'chasing' approaching him. This can (but not always) result in him feeling like maybe he overvalued you market value or cause him to just get lazy because the cat is in the bag.

    This is by no means always the case and one could argue a confident man wouldn't react in these manners, that these are the men one wouldn't want anyways. I know I sure did for a long time. I'll make it as easy as I can for a guy to know it is okay to ask me but I don't do the asking anymore and that was a hard pill to swallow but for the better.

    Now feelings like "I love you"? Whole different ball of wax. LOL best

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What Girls Said 10

  • that's just it for me. fear of rejection, looking desperate or just not being able to have what i envisioned with someone.
    it's quite terrifying. otherwise, id go for it.

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  • It makes them feel self conscious and naked when the other person discovers the truth about their feelings for them. (The naked truth) When someone normally likes somebody, it is usually some one very good looking and they themselves are not so attractive. The fantasy of harbouring secret love is much more emotionally thrilling than to be exposed and totally ignored because they know they don't stand a chance with the hot guy or hot girl.

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  • I think they are afraid of rejection.

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  • Because there's always a chance of rejection, and rejection is scary. Plus once you put your feelings out there, the ball is in the other person's court, which is also scary.

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  • I personally I am a frank person, and I am honest in my intent all the time. I tell a person I like them as soon as I know and then I ask them out.

    But the main reason I think people is becuase of fear and insecurity and also many people are pleaser to point they forsake what is best for them.

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  • Rejection, ego, losing a friendship, feeling "not good enough" fearing the unknown...

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  • Maybe they feel insecure about themselves
    Trust me I've been there, and telling someone you really like about how you feel can sometimes be difficult, because you'll never know how they will react at what you just said.

    And confessing your attraction to someone you're dying for, can be terrifying, knowing that it can all turn sideways and he/she could reject you.

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  • Some people are are afraid of rejection so they want to be sure the other person likes them. Or it could be that they have never asked anyone out before

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  • We are scared of rejection

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  • I personally don't like people knowing how I feel. It makes me feel weak if they do, which is pretty stupid.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Fear of rejection, looking desperate or not being able to have what they envisioned with that person. In real life, which can make things quite frightening for some people.

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  • maybe coz they cannot bare embarrassment? ;-)

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  • It's either because they fear rejection or that they don't really know how to approach the person they like. At least, that's the way it's been for me.

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  • That's a very good question. People shouldn't have to worry, we are all human, it's okay to tell someone they like someone and ask them out. There is nothing wrong with that.

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  • For me I am just shy and it is hard to meet and talk to girls

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  • Fear of rejection?

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  • Vulnerability, as in people don't want to be vulnerable.

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  • I was like that haha. But now that I'd rather talk to the person and get rejected earlier than to wait forever and get rejected later XD

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  • because you could lose ur friendship if they dont feel the same way things will be awkard and it will blow up in ur face well it could

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