Guys, he says he wants to date exclusively but doesn't want a serious relationship yet. Should I walk away?

I've been dating this guy for a month now (4 weeks today), we've been seeing each other 2-3 times a week and spending at least 6 hours together (he's slept over a few times as well), he calls me as well as texts on the days I don't see him. He says he doesn't want a serious relationship right now because he has to focus on finding a new place to live in (he's currently staying with friends and yes I've been over there) as well as get a part-time job (he just started his PhD this year). He also said he wants to date me exclusively and he's not ruling out the possibility of something more serious with me in the future. I was happy to take things slow because I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met him, but should I just be walking away? He's been a really good influence and he's super attentive, so I do still want to date him, but I don't want to get too attached. I keep wandering if it's really a timing issue for him or whether that's just an excuse.
I guess I know the answer, I just need to hear it from someone else.


0|0
4

Most Helpful Guy

  • Going exclusive is the next step towards being serious, if not making things serious at that step. It sounds like he does really care for you, and wants to be with you only. I can understand not wanting to make things "official." Doing that means it's not just a casual thing anymore, you are taking steps toward a LTR and possibly a life together. That's a serious thing to consider and it takes a lot of work to get through that. He is most likely very open to that and maybe even planning on that happening, but he is just not ready to make it a for sure thing yet. The reasons for that can vary quite a bit.

    The only problem I could see with waiting would be wondering "how long?" I would suggest having a serious talk with him about what kind of time frame you are looking at. Something from him to know that you would not just be waiting around for months and months with no decision or plan in sight. It could be that he wants just a little time, or maybe a few months, or even years. So I think it would be best to get some kind of answer like that from him so you are not just left hanging or wondering what is going on. Do let him know how you feel, that could help him move forward with this too. Good Luck!

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • A little Definition of Terms is in order. For some of us, being exclusive IS a serious relationship.

    1|0
    0|0
    • He says he doesn't want to label things yet, which confuses me because I'm one of those people who views being exclusive as being in a serious relationship. Not to mention he travels 3 hours (from his place to mine and back) to see me, which seems like a lot of effort for something completely casual. I'm just enjoying it for what it is at the moment while I focus on my studies, I don't have time to date around so either way I'm getting something I want from the situation. I just don't want to get my hopes up.

  • He's just being honest, probably feels he's in a volatile position and doesn't want the possibility of becoming dependent on you and thus bearing you a burden... Stick with it. He sounds like a good guy.

    1|0
    0|0
  • What he means is:
    Let's agree that I won't put my penis in any other girls vagina and I only want mine in yours.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...