i love him, but he touches me too much?

I love my boyfriend, he's an amazing guy, everything I ever wanted and more. He is very forward and a very intimate person, which boded well for me because I am very affectionate. We're the couple that is always close to each other, and his arm is always around my waist. I love it, it makes me feel warm and safe and attracted to him... but...

Now he just plain touches me too much.

I love being affectionate, but my boyfriend over the past few months staying at my apt a few nights a week (still haven't moved in) won't keep his hands off of me. He always has to be right up against me if we sit together, is always rubbing my arms if he's close to me... and it gets worse. He loves groping me, sometimes even when company is around, and if there's beers, it's even worse. If I'm turned around he'll fondle my butt or my boobs, always nuzzles in my neck... all things I like - if we're actually going to have sex. But he just does it just to do it. Even when we sleep he has to be right on me in a tight spoon - it gets hot and uncomfortable. I wish I was exaggerating but unless there's a door between us, he's all over me!

It used to be cute and sexy but now I feel smothered and annoyed; it makes the special moments less attractive and special and I don't want us to lose our spark. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • This is something you'll have to talk to him about, he probably senses that you are annoyed and misinterpret it as loss of interest and will increase his level of affection.

    You have already put it very nicely in your description above, tell him that you love him, that he's everything you've ever wanted. That you love that he's an affectionate person, but maybe he could tone it down a little because it makes the special moments less special. If I were you I'd bring up that you get a bit uncomfortable when he gropes you in front of others.

    Make sure that you explain to him that you like that he's an affecionate person if you don't want him to stop entirely, bring up his good qualities and tell him what he's doing right so he doesn't feel like you are criticising him. I'm sure it will work out fine! :)

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What Guys Said 9

  • Stop showering. No seriously, communication, honesty and openness. You have to talk to him and tell him how you feel. Tell him you love him, and you love how much he pays attention to you, but tell him sometimes he is over doing it. Tell him there is a time and place for the extra attention, and other times you need your space as well. Tell him about the groping and sleeping and how it makes you uncomfortable. Tell him you don't want to hurt his feelings or make him feel like he is not wanted. Tell him there needs to be some compromise and find some neutral territory between what you each want so you each can be happy.

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  • I mean have you tried talking to him about it?

    If not, he might see your attempts at denying the PDA as a loss of interest.

    I do agree eith you, though, that what you describe is excessive.

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  • Talk to him about it. Let him know, in a calm and kind way, that he doesn't need to be all up on you all the time. He is a very affectionate person and that is a plus and he is majorly attracted you. He will have to understand and respect that.

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    • Asker: My point was, that, YOU, are choosing to allow this. You don't have to though. You ask him politely to stop. And if he doesn't, you let him go. If you don't address it with him.. then it's not that bad.

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    • Honestly because you came across like a smart ass. Ain't nobody got time for that.

    • I don't even know what happened here but this is a great opportunity to work something out with honest communication.

  • Just explain the weather and climate to him. Spooning is wonderful in the chilly winter, but in the hot summer, not so much.

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  • tell him
    little resentments add up and suddenly explode
    if you want to keep this relationship talk to him

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  • Why would you continue to allow this? That's the only question.

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    • Because he's my boyfriend and I love him, so I want to make him happy. But at this point, it is making me unhappy.

      Thanks for being unoriginal though, captain obvious.

  • It sounds like the spark is pretty well smothered.. at least in my opinion... Probably talking to him at this point is the best bet... Though it'll just create a divide...

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  • He is too sexual I guess

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  • Tell him to back off a little.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Tell him! There's no harm in that. His goal is also to make you happy eh? 😊

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  • my boyfriend does the same I don't know what to do

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  • Ask him to calm it down a bit.

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