Why do people continue dating, having relationships, sex, in their 30's and beyond?

I will admit, I've been feeling bitter, resentful, angry, frustrated, depressed and regretful for a couple of years now about this, but I feel it started reaching its boiling point ever since I turned 25.

The pain, frustration of being a late bloomer, I'm in my late 20's now and still never had a girlfriend, and people have always said things to me such as its never too late, you have plenty of time, better late than never, its not a race, blah blah blah, it just angers and pisses me off when people say that because I feel I missed out my youth that I will never get back, what has going through my mind since I was nearing the end of 25 and still on my mind now, I have felt unmotivated to take action to fix my issues with women, because I feel if I ever do get a girlfriend and start having the dating life/sex life I always dreamed of.

I'll never be able to heal the mental wounds, scars, pain of missing out on my teens and 20's for dating, relationships and sex, since so much of our culture, the media, generally always portrays dating, relationships, and sex as something young people do, as in teens and 20's, like let's say if I ever do get a girlfriend in the future and I'm out there in public with her and I see all these couples out there younger than me, it will be a painful reminder of what I missed out on earlier.

Sorry but I choose to compare myself to others, I hate being different and hate being the odd man out, that's something I will never be able to change, because even if I do fix my issues with women and start having a girlfriend, I will still be the odd man out because I will always be a late bloomer.

I remember one asshole said "stop comparing, you'll never beat them but it doesn't matter one way or another and getting a girlfriend shouldn't be about beating them anyway", sorry but that matters me, the fact I can no longer beat them means I already lost.

It also angers me on how some people say that 30's and older is the prime for guys, that guys supposedly become more attractive as they age, ya well so what if guys, men's peak attractiveness years are in his 30's and 40's? The reality is that most men in their 30's and 40's who are successful with women were successful with women in their teens or 20's. Plus once my career is taking off and I'm well I established, financially stable, women will value me for reasons that I don't want to be valued for, which does not appeal to me.

Updates:
I will admit, due to being this bitter, angry, frustrated, depressed, suicide has cross my mind in recent years but I've never been close to acting on it, yes I know people will say your sole existence in life shouldn't be to have a relationship, getting laid, etc. That there's more to life than just dating and relationships, sex, but there's no denying that its a huge part of life
And even if I do work and focus on other areas of my life, like once my career and finances are more in order, well established, that's still not gonna remove the primal, innate, instinctive, natural desire for wanting a girlfriend, companionship, sex, and I will only be getting older, that's why I have often times felt like giving up on life.
i remember i got even more irritated, pissed off, when a person said to me: "realize that plenty of people are still looking for love in their 50's. Sure, they might not be virgins or inexperienced, but being older has not stopped them."

Ya but in your 50's your bodies are much weaker, not as much sexual energy and stamina as a person in their prime teens and 20's
SERIOUSLY IT ALWAYS FUCKIN' ANGERS ME AND PISSES ME OFF WHENEVER PEOPLE SAY BETTER LATE THAN NEVER OR YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME!!!, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE!!!, BECAUSE I'LL NEVER BE A NORMAL PERSON!!!, seriously i feel like i could explode like Wolverine right here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWzCqCgjla8
Seriously, WHY SHOULD I NOT COMMITT SUICIDE?
SERIOUSLY I HATE BEING BORN A GUY WITH A HUGE PASSION!!!
I remember one bitch said "because its fun and we're not only here to reproduce"
i often times don't feel like going out and socializing due to feeling bitter and resentful over this
i hate reality with a huge passion
this bitch really pissed me off when she said: "Because it isn't. My 72 year-old landlord and her 90 year-old boyfriend are proof of that.", and then i asked her "Why do you think people still date, have relationhips in their 40's and older?"
and then she said to me "interesting question--because it's fun and we're not only here to reproduce", man i really felt like violently exploding when she said that

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have never dated either, im 28. I hate it, I was always shy, still am. socially anxious, still am, no career... maybe I need to make myself, maybe I am one of those people who get nothing in life, so far I feel like I have to lie or sneak around to get a tool I need to make a guitar (I am in the process of making my second instrument which is actually an electric bass guitar). I have always been unsuccessful with people, and worst of all with girls.

    I cannot relate to them, I have always been an introvert and could never really tell if a girl liked me or anything. problem with websites like this is I ask a question like did this person like me (5 years ago) and usually the answer is yes. so since nobody told me what to look for before all that, I am getting slightly better with reading women, but really the only girls I see are 2 friends I might see once a week, and then women I see in bars with their friends or boyfriends... and I likely wouldn't talk to them anyways.

    But I guess to answer your question... I don't know, I think that we almost instinctively want to have someone who is on our side. someone who understands why we do the things we do. cares about our interests. then we have someone to care about, and it brings about things to do.

    When I say things to do, as a loner I get questioned all the time with what I am going out for, as if I will get in trouble like a child, one problem is that I still live at home and have no way out, and the other I think bigger factor is that I do most things alone, and my parents have caught on to that. but my mother is always the most worried about my life. and I see that my sisters who are much better at life than me, get more freedoms as they grew up, they can get anything they want.

    People say all sorts of things to people like us because like most things that people find strange, they have no idea what to say.

    I think that people like us...>>

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    • have to come to a point where we start thinking 'I don't care about love or being this type of person in other peoples eyes, I have these interests and I am going to finally achieve them or at least attempt them', and then go do those things.

      We have to be somebody to like, most people don't give a shit about people like us, if we don't know how to exist in their socially structured world then they sideline us, and maybe we are their 'friend' on social media, but in all regards forgotten.

      I think that we need to become interesting to people, interesting to the opposite sex. It's like the way young girls fall in love with pop acts like the backstreet boys or whatever, they do something that is attractive to the girls, of course something that most people don't reach, but it is something that they respect.

      I've gone on way too long here, and probably off topic by now. sorry for the long answer and sorry if it doesn't help at all lol

    • ya, i will admit, even though he was a monster, i have sympathy, empathy for the late Elliot Rodger

    • it's like women are the only sex entitled, owed dates and relationships

What Girls Said 7

  • Simple. Because they want to.

    1) It's false that guys become more attractive as they age. SOME do. Not all.

    2) It doesn't matter what your status is in life--financially stable or established in career--if you're not attractive with a great personality, I and many women aren't interested.

    3) There's nothing "awesome" about losing it early and fucking girls casually because it seems like you don't want that. I think that you haven't tried enough.

    Get on dating sites and give 2 hours to sending messages to women. Approach EVERY woman that interests you and I will bet that you WILL get a yes.

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    • so really, it's false that mens dating/mating market value increases with age?

    • Not all men become DILFs, hun if you're thinking about physical attraction. If you're talking about men with established careers/status etc? Yes, it increases because many women who SEEK that are interested.

    • i will admit, i'm often jealous, envious of how women are valued for their youth more than men are

  • first of all NO men are not more attractive in their 30s and 40s lol that is a load maybe 25-30 and women is 20-25 for the peak ! but that is shallow.

    Next im not going to feel sorry for you when you say things like being 40 and going after 20 year old and teen girls that is wack !!!

    other than that just try online dating, or meet up, being more relaxed and actually talking to women not just trying to rush into the dating thing, be friends first and get to know them you'll be surprised. I think your over oversexualizing women actually.

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    • interesting for you to say that, glad somebody admits about mens dating/mating market value increasing with age to be false

  • People continue dating beyond their 30's because life isn't over.
    They have at least another 50-60 years on this planet I don't see why they should call it quits now.
    Also as you age, people usually become more self aware and confident with what they have to bring to the table.
    The 20's is all about learning about yourself.
    The 30s is where you enter into a different phase of adult hood and you have already learned you strengths/weaknesses and what you have to offer.

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    • yes i will forever always be behind most people, i will never be a normal person and that always depresses me, frustrates me, pisses me off

    • i'm often bitter and resentful, angry, frustrated because of this

    • The male gender always values the younger days more than females do

  • Why are people having sex and relationships beyond 30? Uhm.. Because they wan to! and you should o the same... as in (do what you want!!) Stay single. Nobody cares if you don't.

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    • i really hate the cards i was dealt with for being born male

  • probably because it is biological, instinctive, innate urge.

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  • Get over it. Thats all I can say.

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  • You are never too old to date - people in their 70s start dating again if they lose their spouse. I feel I missed out on a whole lot too as I only had a couple of boyfriends and then married (and now unhappily). But we have to just look forward to the future and make the most of it and the best way to do that is to develop a positive attitude.

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    • ya but people have weak bodies in their 70's, so sex will no longer be great

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    • a person has ever god damn right to be angry and frustrated, pissed off because they didn't get to experience something they wanted to earlier, feel like they missed out on something and will never get back

    • Yes you do have a right to feel how you feel. But eventually you have to work through it and get yourself in a better place emotionally so you have a good life ahead of you. Harbouring anger only hurts you because others won't want to be around an angry person and instead of enjoying the present and future you are stewing over the past.

What Guys Said 5

  • Not all guys who do well in their 30s did well in their 20s

    Yes your career taking off makes you more attractive. Not just to gold diggers. To normal women. It's a marker of your success and capability. It shows good genetics. Women don't just want rich guys money, they are more likely to hook up with them as well. That's attraction.

    Guys who do much better in their 30s typically matured late, did well career wise and improved their confidence and social skills.

    Anyway I agree about your mental baggage and actually think you shouldn't get in a relationship. You need to build pick up skills and start having casual relationships until you stop feeling like you missed out. You aren't ready to settle down.

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    • ya, i would love to at least have casual relationships at the moment

  • coz they can dude...:-P

    never is l8 bsically!

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    • ya well you must have had a good teens and early 20's with girls so far

  • why would anyone continue to date?

    potang is pretty much a gimmie nowadays.

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  • story of my life dude

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  • i feel you summed up everything on how i feel about women, dating and relationships.

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    • I will admit, there are times I feel bitter and resentful towards women

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    • Basically, everything in life is a guys responsibility

    • ya exactly

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