I feel really bad that guy is gonna go to a strip club?

y boyfriend wants to go to a strip club but to be honest I really really don't want him too the thought of it makes me cry, I can't tell him how I feel or don't want him to go cause it will just make me seem controlling... I hate him to be looking at another girls body or fantasize about her...

yes I am insecure and have low self esteem since I was a kid and I'm in therapy for it too... he isn't texting me or asking if its ok with me for him to go... i feel emotional abbout I constantly... if he does go I'm willing to breakup with him it may seem overactive but my feelings don't change tht my boyfriend is gonna go to a strip club and see pretty naked girls.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Did you tell him that you're uncomfortable with him going to a strip club?

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    • He knows how I feel but waits for me to say it but I'm afraid of his response...

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    • He wants to go with his friends, I understand that whole friends and guys stuff thing, and they have been planning to go so it like i can't stop him or even if i tell him it makes me uncomfotable, later on il feel like a drama qeen and controlling iinsecure girl.. im afraid to tell him how i feel cause i think it won't change anything...,

      And what hurts more is That he knows im insecure and like/want hum a lot but is kinda ignoring me cause his trip to vegas is comming soon...

    • He's not being a good boyfriend material in my opinion. He is being inconsiderate.

What Guys Said 8

  • I think you should break up with him if he goes. If I'm in a relationship I wouldn't go to a strip club because the only naked woman I want to see is my girlfriend, not some random stripper

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  • You can't break up with him if you haven't told him its not ok.
    If he knows you don't agree to it and he still goes then it's reasonable to break up with him.
    I would assume my gfs would not be ok with me going to a strip club so I wouldn't go anyway.

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  • Well, since you won't tell him how it makes you feel, you're kind of expecting him to figure it out on his own, which is unlikely to happen.

    You'll feel like shit, and eventually you'll either break up with him, or explode at him, which is really a lose-lose situation.

    You have to tell him how you feel about it.
    If he's a little considerate, he'll understand.

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    • He knows i dont want hum to go i dont have to tell him, but whaat hurts is That he is ignoring me cause his trip with his firends is comming soon, i understand the whole Guys night out fun thing but his ignoring me part kills a lot even if i say i dont want him to go , i know nothing is gonna change...

  • It's his life. While there, he may do things that are worth breaking up over, but until that point you are just panicking over things that haven't even happened yet.

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    • I understand its his life and I can imagine how annoying it can be if someone say that they can't do, but its so hard I can't even tell him how I feel, iv tried to makes plans like going on a vacation or something trying for him to avoid I without seeming controlling but also too scared to get rejected for strip club... im trying to diegest it but I can't, apparently :-\ now I feel like those crazy girlfriends...

    • There is nothing wrong with telling him how you feel about it. So long as you're realistic and just tell him somethin along the lines of "I am not happy about you going". At least then he knows. Maybe next time he gets invited, he'll decline. If you try to stop him going, all you're going to achieve is an argument.

  • He should respect your feelings but you should also let him have some fun...

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    • Yes i understand the whole Guys night out and having fun i dont want to stop him nor i honestly dont want hum to go but what hurts more is his ingoring me part...

  • That seems a bit extreme. It's not enough that he's with you?

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  • Then maybe he's with you for the wrong reasons

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    • I used to go to one, I met a guy there, he told me that he's a girlfriend and that every-time he goes, she makes him sleep on the couch. You could do that. We choose what we do. You have no power over that but, what you can do is punish him slightly for doing it. I wouldn't just break up with him over one instance

  • become a stripper

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What Girls Said 1

  • Can I just say, your feelings are completely rational and normal. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting your boyfriend to go to a strip club. Most people in a relationship would know without you saying that its not ok to do that. But if for some reason he doesn't seem to get that, just come right out and say it. Say "I really feel uncomfortable with you going to a strip club. This has nothing to do with my insecurity, I want loyalty in a relationship. How do you feel about this?"

    If he just blows it off, calls you insecure, or in anyway tries to turn this on you - he's not the right guy for you. You are not compatible. If he wants to do these things he's free to do so, but not while he is dating a girl that wants loyalty. You will find plenty of guys who would be happy to only see you and your body, and would be very supportive of your insecurities and help you through this.

    Try not to waste time with immature little boys who only think about their penis. A decent, compatible boyfriend would take the extra effort to make you feel worthy, special and secure in your relationship. There are men out there like that. You are not being unreasonable at all.

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