Guys, are looks all that matters to you?

I have a feeling that guys fall for me just because of my looks. I've been called beautiful, hot, sexy, pretty, cute, etc. But I don't want that, I want to be called smart, intelligent, outrageous (in a good way), fun, hilarious, cool, etc. I want to be judged by my personality and not by my looks. I've been called nice and I appreciate it but I seem. to attract people just for my looks and not my attitude or achievement. Even my teachers mark me or give me more priority by judging my appearance. (Im not saying that im dumb or a bimbo) Would you ever date an average looking or below average looking girl with a really good personality or charm? By the things I've stated here, you could judge me too and by not knowing what I look like.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Would I date a below average looking girl with a really good personality? No.

    I'm going to try to lay it out for you. Some of it you won't like;
    - guys are basicaly not attracted by womens achievements. They may admire or respect them but it doesn't make them want to date her. it actually bothers men a lot that women do choose men based on achievements. To us, THAT seems fake.
    - being fun, hillarious and cool don't really make women more desireable to us either but they DO make us enjoy being with her.
    - guys tend to be attracted based 70-100% on looks (with the rest being sexual appeal). However they can be attracted to girls they don't even like. In that case they might want to hook up with them but not date them.
    - if a guy finds a girl attractive and ALSO likes her and likes her company that puts her in the date category. So yes guys would be attracted first to your looks but stick around for the looks plus personality.
    - I'm often called smart and funny. In real life I'm never called hot. For most guys being called hot is rare and actually the complement they'd -most- like. Guys, especially young ones, don't realize that for you being called hot is nothing new and you'd like to be complemented on other things.

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    • No need for me to post an opinion, you covered it all. I agree 100%.

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    • Dumb and sweet? Probably at least if we got along. I suck at picking up dumb girls though. So that's theoretical ;)

      A woman being successful does not make her more or less attractive. If I care about her I am proud of her and her success. But it doesn't impact attraction.

      Even if we talk about love, men and women are different. Women's love for men seems to incorporate more admiration, while men's love for women involves more protectiveness.

      So you now know why so many guys who are nice and sweet can't understand why women don't like them ;).

    • I'm probably slightly underselling 'smart' by the way. Realistically it's going to impact compatibility. (Just not attraction). It also -can- interact with that 0-30 sex appeal portion, just not automatically.

What Guys Said 13

  • Looks attract a guy, personality and intelligence is what makes him stay (provided he is looking for an LTR and isn't just a Pick Up Artists).

    As for falling for you because of your looks as said, that is just the initial attraction, once you have a long term meaningful relationship with a guy, he will love you for the whole package, not just your looks.

    To answer your questions no that isn't all that matters to all guys :)

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    • Thank you so much for that. :)

  • Well looks gets you in the door after that Its what kind of a person are you, that can take to very far or just one date.

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  • This can be said about women to. Looks are the only thing that matter to some men but not all just like looks are the only thing that matter to some women to but then again not all women. Looks matter to everyone, both men and women to a certain degree, just some men and women put more importance on it than others. I personally refuse to date any woman that can not treat me well, I don't care how good looking she is if she has a bad attitude and treats me badly a woman will not be dating me.

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  • Uhm, when a guy hardly knows you, all he has to go on is your appearance. To get the kind of compliments you're looking for, you need to earn it. I'm not gonna tell a girl she's intelligent when she's actually retarded. Draw the guys in with your looks, filtrate the good from the bad, then show them the side of yourself that would earn you the privilege of being seen as smart, funny, or whatever else

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  • I dated a really gorgeous woman last year. My friends were pretty impressed.

    But, I broke up with her. Perhaps I had some insecurity. But , I also think there is a price to be paid to have that arm candy. She was not a bad woman, but had certain expectations and so did her friends and family. They all thought she should be with a wealthy man, which I am not.

    Looks get you in the door. But, it's not everything. If the woman is a bitch or has nothing in common with the guy, chances are that it won't last. It should not last.

    I'd rather be with a cute, down to earth girl who has common interests and values with me than a really hot, bitchy woman.

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    • Uh huh. Thanks for pointing that out. :)

  • Initially its the looks, but importanly its Personality.. if you go out on a date with a beautiful girl and all you have in your conversation is chessy stuff all the time. . . it'll fade for me sooner.. I'd like to have a good talk at the end of the day, sometimes we go out with friends, chill, it is more relaxing and stress reliever.. I don't go out to flash a beautiful trophy, Ill go out because I like her, feel comfortable talking about anything and I love to date her.. personality overtakes the looks.. above average looks is just a plus for me.. the way she see things is the major one.. dont judge me..

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    • Its nice to know that. :D

  • for me personally, looks matter, but not as much as personality. about 3.5/10 on looks and 6.5/10 on personality. I definitely find a girl with a good sense of humor a keeper.

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    • Just a good sense of humor?

    • i didn't say just that. loyalty and commitment, being kind and caring are also very important

  • Well its the age of advertising and packaging. Beautiful, hot, sexy, pretty, and cute don't last long. Everything diminishes with age. So, enjoy these compliments while it still lasts

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  • Pot meet kettle.
    Kettle nice to meet you
    Pot same here.
    Kettle so tell me Pot do looks matter to you

    Pot not really but he/she can't be too ugly.
    Kettle so you admitting looks play a role

    Pot why yes I won't date an ugly person.
    Kettle grabs guy shots self.
    Pot goes out and only dates good looking people.

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  • I approach based on looks, but from the first convo I assess personality match.

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  • No, I want a smarty panties girl. Brains are 50%, looks are the other 50.

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  • I get with girls cause of their personality not looks

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  • No, but, it comes down to looks, unfortunately. it's the same for women as well

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    • Not really, women ate gold diggers at times and other than that women choose to marry a guy who's capable of keeping her happy, without bothering about the looks. I've dated average looking guys, even below.

    • Are*

    • You've DATED, keyword past tense, you know you need to be attracted to him, it's true fact yo

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