How should I tell a girlfriend about a previous girlfriend that holds an extremely deep place in my heart?

My fiancé was killed, I'm skipping these details because I don't think details regarding her death are needed, when I was 3 months out of high school in 2014. I was extremely depressed and had to take forced leave from the air force to sort out my problems. I've been steadily dating this girl for about 5 and a half months, she has no idea about my old fiancé or anything. I feel like I owe it to her to tell her about it. I'm probably gonna be put on blast for thinking about getting married, but it was mine and her decision to get engaged.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just tell her what happened, she'll understand especially since that tragic event just happened last year. Now would be the best time to tell her since you have been together 5+months.

    Here's how you do it:
    One day you two are casually laying around talking or watching a movie at home tell her,

    "There is something I've been wanting to tell you about my past, but I wasn't sure how or when to tell you. I was engaged last year and sadly my fiance passed. (Go into details with her what happened & if this event has caused any odd/emotional behavior from you explain this to her) I felt the need to tell you, because I want complete honesty in this relationship. I hold her dear to my heart, I know you can respect that, we were planning to spend the rest of our lives together, but I also don't want this to come in between us. I just wanted you to know."

    Be ready for your emotions to come over you. If you are not ready for her to see your vunerable side, do not bring it up until you are.

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    • Thank you, I was just thinking about it like that and I started to tear up but I think that would be best for her to see my emotional side as well, wouldn't it?

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    • No problem ;) Good Luck!

    • Thanks for the MHO :) I hope everything works out for you!

What Girls Said 6

  • You should simply tell her, especially if she thinks that you're in love with her. She may think that she won't be able to compete with your fiancee' though. Sorry about your loss.

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  • You shouldn't tell her...

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  • If you feel you should tell her about your old fiance then do it! It's better to honest especially with someone you care a lot about! Maybe try to explain to her that your telling her because you don't want there to be any secrets between you.

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  • If it was a fiancé, I think she should know

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  • Sit her down and talk. It's only fair to both of you that you're totally honest with each other.

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  • Tell her she will understand that's a horrible thing to happen

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