If I sleep with him on the second date, will that end all chance of a relationship?

I recently reconnected with someone I hadn't seen in three years. We went on a date last night and it went well. Lots of kissing. In my general experience, I avoid having sex with someone until I'm confident neither of us are seeing other people. So maybe 4 or 5 dates in. But with this guy...the chemistry is so strong, it's really distracting! I can't even think about what I want. So I kinda feel like I have to sleep with him to figure out how I feel! But if I do that on date 2, can I pretty much forget about a relationship? I'm not sure if I want it with him, but it certainly is possible...We have a lot in common in addition to the chemistry.

Thanks!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • YESS, whilst girls are able to build emotional connectivity from sex.. Most guys pretty much stay the same after sex or really want to get out..

    If he liked you, he'll still like you, not any more, but will still like you the same..

    But if he wasn't sure, sex isn't gonna change his mind.. it might actually make him think less of you.. honestly.

    Unless you're sure about how he feels, then sleep with him.. if you're not, it best to hold up.

    I know a lot of people say guys will say anything to get laid, but the truth is most guys wont, they'll actually set their cards on the table but most girls will sleep with him to change his mind, if he doesnt, they blame it on im..

    But if it just a booty call... then freak on...

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    • Thanks for your perspective! I'll keep what you said in mind as I figure this out.

What Guys Said 2

  • I'm under the impression that in modern dating, you can never be sure that your partner is exclusive until around 2-3 weeks of sleeping with them. At that time it seems like an appropriate opportunity to have the "talk" and consider the options for your relationship. Doing it beforehand would just scare me off.

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    • 2-3 weeks of sleeping with? That I had not heard before.

    • That's just how my relationships usually pan out. Sex isn't considered an emotional step in a relationship, just an affirmation of physical attraction between the parties involved.

  • in general, if you slept with a guy on the first date, or very close to the beginning. a lot of guys would maybe just consider you a fling and not material to build a relationship upon. This wouldn't be just because you had sex very soon but because they would feel, if you had sex with them so easy. then the guy may hesitate to take this further as they may feel it could possibly be just as easy for another guy to get you into bed. therefore the guy wouldn't conciously consider you for an actual relationship.

    As long as your guy is sure where he stands with you, and that the only reason you will have sex with him so easy and soon is because you really feel connected with him and that is the only reason. then you wouldn't really need to consider him leaving you.

    Good luck, God bless

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What Girls Said 1

  • You have to sleep with him to know how you feel? WTF I have never heard of this before lol

    I don't think it's the best practise to sleep with man you aren't in a relationship with if you want it to head in that direction. It's kind of a gamble. He could already really like you and not judge you for it, but then he could think "that was easy" and lose interest, or maybe he could think you do this with a lot of people? I think sex can wait. If he really wants a relationship with you then waiting won't matter so I would just wait so you can at least be in a relationship first and don't run the risk of him running off if you put out early

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