When you go on a date, who do you prefer paying? The guy, the girl, or split the check?

So I was on a date with my really really close guy friend. He just asked me out because he said he wants to try it out, so I just gave it a shot. The date was going pretty good, until the dinner. Last night, we went to the movies but we both have monthly passes so that was free. We went to dinner afterwards at this really nice place that he booked, so it was good too. I couldn't really eat much because I have a meticulous dietary regimen that I follow strictly, so I just had a salad and chicken brest. He had steak and lobster -.- Anyways, the date came to a close, and I thought we would split the check or somethin because we weren't officially together, so I wouldn't expect him to pay for me anyway... HOWEVER, he asked if I could pay because he used all his money on gas for picking me up (we don't live near each other)... I barely made the cut, so I paid with all I had in my wallet.

I usually wouldn't mind, but it's the fact that he told me after he ordered his pricey meal. My mom said I shouldn't mind, because he's just a friend.. so I shouldn't expect to much out of him. But my brother said, that if he was the one to initiate the date, then he should pay for it.. or at least most of it. So I don't know, am I being to up tight about it? I've honestly only paid for a date once, but the guy wanted to pay me back after he went to the bank. And all of my other dates were mad when I offered, so I don't push them either.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, that was really cheap of him.

    So he can barely afford to pay for gas to come get you, but then orders steak and lobster at dinner? Sounds like a guy with pretty expensive tastes for being so broke. I'd be pissed to be honest with you. He asked you on a date, so at the very least you should've just paid for yourselves (go dutch). But for him to ask you to pay for the entire meal after he orders the most expensive thing on it? Sounds like a huge mooch.

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    • I'd just like to add that even if he is "just a friend," I've NEVER had a friend demand I pay for his or her dinner unless we previously agreed upon it. And they definitely wouldn't have ordered steak and lobster.

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    • Well he'll get the hint on that end, too. But if he pushes the issue again, I would honestly tell him you can't afford it. That's the truth isn't it? You spent everything you had in your wallet, can you afford to do that 2-3X a week?

    • Heck no haha. I'd probably say that I wouldn't date an inheritance child who is not willing to use that money for a date lol

What Guys Said 12

  • This should be very simple in the 21st century:
    Whomever is the one to invite: pays. The one who was invited can offer to pay but not necessarily.
    But when you two have gotten to know each other better then both pay. Or whomever has cash pays - actually both should just decide how they're gonna do it in what situations and that's it.

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    • That's what I assumed as well, I figured that if we were more serious that it wouldn't matter who pays. But this was our first date, so it's just that I didn't expect to cover so much..
      On the other hand, we have known each other for a while, so it wasn't like it was just some stranger who a suddenly wanted me to pay.

    • The problem with this is that the guy is expected to make the first move, so the guy still ends up paying 99% of times.

    • @Maverickj that unfortunately is true yes.

  • Being a gentleman and an old fashioned guy I personally prefer to pay for everything date wise. Now that's just me but when you ask a girl out and you expect to pay for the meal always being enough to cover whatever costs there may be.

    Personally I set aside a little money from my checks specifically for the purpose of dating. And I always make sure I have enough I actually take extra that way even if we both ordered or got the most exspensive stuff there would still be plenty to cover everything including gas.

    In a nutshell what he did was kind of immature and rude, he obviously didn't think ahead or have a plan because who books dinner at an exspensive restruant and then spends all their money on gas. And then orders the most exspensive stuff there when you have no money or is hiding it.

    Actions of a boy not a man.

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    • Yeah, haha I told him of about it a couple days later. He apologized, and wanted another date... I obviously said no thanks though.

      But if you prefer to pay for everything, would that mean you'd mind if the girl wants to pay?

    • Hmm I don't know, never come across that before, I suppose I wouldn't mind but that's the way I was raised lol.

  • Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but I would like to pay myself.

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  • What a friggin' loser! Used all his money on gas. And he has the most expensive dinner and makes you pay? He is a boy, not a man. A man would take you on a date, and you wouldn't even have to think to bring your pocket book. That's a what a gentleman does. Geez! Reading stuff like this makes me crazy!

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    • My brothers told me to confront him about it, but I didn't feel entitled

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    • Unbelievable. And unfortunate...

    • Getting rather sick of sexism on this site being disguised as "being a gentleman".

  • i prefer paying all of it

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  • Usually I pay the bill.. coz m pretty old fashioned... these days usually both the parties split the bill...

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  • I would say he should of paid cause he offered
    to take you out on the date but it doesn't hurt to
    split the bill but i always paid for dates i went on
    i just never went to real expensive restaurants
    that keeps the cost down too.

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  • Well i am old school... if I asked her out I pay. If she asks me out she should at least offer to pay.

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    • Yeah, I never even considered trying anything romantic with this guy.. It never came to mind..
      But when he offered, I felt that I should at least be open

  • In my culture, it will be very offensive if a girl payed the dinner.. and the guy will feel ashamed for letting her pay.

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    • You took the words out of my mouth!

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    • yes.. the Man should walk with a girl with a budget enables him to overcome anything happens.. Otherwise, it ill embarrassing for him as he cannot afford one night out with a girl, how can he afford the entire life? it is Manhood thing.

  • split the check but if his was more expensive he should pay a larger cut

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    • If I had my calculations right, his food covered 87.5% of the bill.. not including tip..

  • Ideally, the guy pays but the girl always offers to pay. We men want to feel like she's willing to but, the man pays. It's just how it is

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  • oh wow.. interesting question! haven't seen this subject here on gag before

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What Girls Said 4

  • No id be 100% with you on splitting the bill and the way you thought it was going to go. I never expect a guy to pay coz he's the guy or anything like that, I pay my way. I would have been a pissed off by what he did. Not because he should be paying all of it or anything like that or any kind of dating "rules". But because he walked into a restaurant ordered a pricey meal knowing he had know money in his back pocket hoping you'd pay. Like what if you didn't have all the money to cover it? I'd feel this way with anyone that did that to me whether it was a date or just friends or one of the girls or even a family member. Like if he didn't have the money on him he could have said before you went into the restaurant and checked with you. Like he really didn't leave you with much of an option. Thats what would annoy me. I believe people should pay thier way in life regardless of gender - if you can't at least be upfront about it. I reckon he was pretty cheeky.

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    • Yeah, I felt that I would stir controversy by asking this question-- because some people might think it is wrong for me to be a bit angry. If he told me ahead of time that he couldn't cover for it, that I may have still been okay with it, since he's a friend and all. But this restaurant isn't usually in my price range, and I wouldn't mind if he chose a cheaper place... The bill isn't what mothered me, but it was more of the situation. I swear I saw green sticking out of his leather wallet, but I could be wrong. I didn't want to accuse him on the spot.

  • Myself I like to split the bill.

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  • splitting the check.

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  • First date, I prefer splitting the bill. I tend to not like a guy paying for me until we are actually together; then it's more of a treat. (and I can pay for him as well)

    Sometimes the guy is super insistent on paying for me, so I order something I can eat but that is inexpensive. I never take advantage of another person, and hope they treat me the same.

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    • That's very thoughtful. I'd hope that he would treat me the same as well, but I guess he didn't..

    • I'm sorry that happened... but maybe he can take you out and he will pay that time, to make it right. :)

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