New boyfriend admitted he has a drinking problem, now what?

I just started dating someone about 3 months ago. I really like him a lot and we have a ton of fun when we are together. i can really be myself around him. We call eachother boyfriend and girlfriend and are committed. He has told me that I am very much a part of his life now. I don't expect either of us are going anywhere anytime soon.
This past weekend he admited to me that he is an alcoholic. Which is something that I already picked up on because my grandmother has been a functioning alcoholic my entire life. I know the signs. This isn't a case of him waking up and drinking and being a mess all day long. He maintains a job where he doesn't drink at all durning the day and has a few when he's done work every day kind of thing. I will not leave him because of this, I have already told him that and that I basically knew after our third date. I know that it takes courage to admit to it and it's up to him to fix it. We haven't been a couple long enough for me to force him to discuss it. And after telling me, he's been pretty closed off. I think I just need to wait for windows when he opens them to talk with him about it. He's an anxious person and suffers from generalized anxiety disorder, which is why I feel a lot of this is self medicating. And as far as I know, only myself and his parents know. What do I do now? How do I act? I care for him a ton and I just want to be there in any way I can for him. He's just acting now like the same as always, although I can kind of tell he's bothered. I want him to open up to me about this, and not shut me out or the largest scary feeling I have, leave me because he thinks its a burden I can't bear.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Girl, I dated an alcoholic and ended up being engaged to him. He opened up to me in the beginning about it and I promised him I wouldn't leave and that I'd be there for him. After he realized I wasn't going anywhere, the problem persisted and got worse. He figured I'd just "deal" with it. He didn't drink all day long, sometimes not even everyday. He might have a few after work sometimes and then it got worse. It got to the point where he started and couldn't stop till he was completely polluted. I was then his "babysitter" whenever we would go anywhere. I ended up living a miserable life with him and FINALLY called off the engagement and left. Till this day it's the best decision that I've ever made. No one can tell you what to do, or how to feel. But, I'm just speaking from experience, it's not going to be easy and only you will know if/when you've had enough of it. This is a problem he will have for the rest of his life. We had a lot of good times, wonderful times, actually. But, in the end, I wasn't happy and I was settling. I just hope you don't do the same. You deserve a good life, too. Good luck to you! :)

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    • Thank you, I completely get what you're saying. It's just that everyone is different. And I truly believe that he is wanting help, which is why he told me and his folks. I just more so want to know the appropriate way to act around him so. I don't want things to change or him to think I'm judging him.

    • That's the hard part, too. Because we don't have that problem, we don't know how it feels. Just be aware and ALWAYS temember, YOU CANNOT FIX HIM! It has to be something he wants! No matter how good of a girl you are to him, if he's not willing to change, he won't. Just be smart.

What Guys Said 2

  • back with time to before those 3 months it seems like u left 1st boyfriend for this shitty one. i think you got what you deserves.

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    • Why the hell would you say that? The man I am dating is sweet and kind and thoughtful. Not even close to being shitty, just because he has a disease. And you know absolutely nothing about my previous relationship at all. Thank you for your non opinion.

  • I would get him connected to AA asap!

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What Girls Said 0

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